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I added in voices and an extra scene. The music had to be changed. It was too loud and you could'nt here the voices. I will re-edit it when I get more experience in music editing.
The joke is still funny, the voices are actually pretty good, it's just it still feels like it needs more. Mostly length, but definitely an improvement.
I look back at this flash and laugh... Its pretty sad. Yeah. I kinda have a short attention span for random things like this. But I'm pushing myself.
improved (and to be improved)
The joke was funny, the second joke is ok (the end is his worst part) and voice adding was a good idea, now let's have scores:
graphics 4/10: you have your own style, but you can improve on details, work on it.
animation 1/10: almost slides like, this is your weak point at the moment.
music and voices: 5/10 average, music is not bad, voice acting must stress more the difference between characters, Luke needs a different voice and more voice acting about his feelings.
story and humor 8/10: the final part can be improved but I see good ideas and the will to put them in flash in a funny way, keep it up.
4,5/10 your average is but in five turns (encouraged your desire to improve should be...yes...). On animation work and on drawing a bit, just your style develope.
Let voice acting lower your scores, not.
Thanks, man. I shall start on a "gold" editon. With better sounds, actual movements instead of a slide show like flash, better voices... The works.
look dont get me wrong, i found it quite funny actually. short and sweet yet it left me a bitter taste in my mouth. why? well the quality of it was...well it lacked. I may understand about the audio part but, improve your drawing skills, at least put some effort into it. but non the less it was pretty funny. thats the only thing that gives this submission a 4. 1 for quality and 3 for funny.
It is a good idea, but it needs some work
I'm sorry, but i think you have to improve it a bit more, and maybe make it automatic? so i don't have to click next for it.
Oh and you should make it longer,
And maybe get a better microphone... you don't have to though...
Good idea. I shall start brain-storming right away!
This is the story of a fearless girl and her encounter with the wicked cold wind god
Art school and religion aren't that different...
a short school assignment
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