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Uploaded
Aug 29, 2007 | 7:53 PM EDT
  • Daily 4th Place August 30, 2007

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  • Goth
    Goth Dark and twisted, just like you.

Author Comments

*June 2011 Update

For anyone interested in watching more of my recent dark animations and artwork visit my website at:
www.jonny-lawrence.co.uk

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Collaboration of ideas between me and my mate

The tail of a man who wished for eternal life...with one draw back when under the gaze of the moonlight.

We had been making a few character poems a while back and i felt this one needed to be animated to help show what i was imagining. The character i designed is also in an animation set i made so check that out too www.darkgaruda.deviantart .com

I'm pretty useless when it comes to poetry so my mate did that while i did the rest

You may need to replay this once for reading the poem, and after to see the details i added heh

for the full version of the poem erm i have it somewhere but if you're interested ah whatever...i had to cut some it up so, hope it makes sense and hope you can read it...enjoy!

Music
-Killswitch Engage: 'My Last Serenade'
-Silent Hill - 'Main Theme'
-Silent Hill 2 - 'Stairs of Fire'

Reviews


JustMeAndDeeJustMeAndDee

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 2, 2007

Imperfect, a bore

For those of you claiming that this is good poetry, you really need to diversify your selection of literature. The word choices are trite, the rhythm of the dialog is awkward, and the pacing is too slow. If this be beauty, I'd hate to see ugly.

Moreover, I think we need to ask the broader question of whether or not poetry fits in animation in general. People want to view animation to see, well, animation. Newgrounds is an animation/gaming site, with some emo and expressive works within it, and that is great. However, it is not a repository for online book reading, which is essentially what the author gave to us in this animation, an online book.

Furthermore, IMHO, poetry is overrated anyway. I think many people come to a site like this to escape the ho-hum of the written word. I won't say to the author to never try anything like this again, but he should expect that it might result in a similar kind of reaction on Newgrounds, and he should expect that.

Finally, whereas I never have trouble with Newgrounds animations on my computer, this one suffered significant slowdown. Since it was just a scrolling image/text, I'm really stymied as to how that could happen.


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Blaze-thepyroBlaze-thepyro

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 4, 2007

Hmmm....

Morons say your grammar was bad. They're morons though. Either way, though the animation was promising, the rolling text thing was very tedious - You could try doing the poem as it's acted out in the flash, with a creepy voice narrating it over the animation or something. It would make for a much more watchable flash.



Hacker12Hacker12

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 2, 2007

Erm text?

Yeah I was actually waiting for some animation to happen aoart from the guy walking in the background and nothing.


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FishWafflesFishWaffles

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 4, 2007

Didn't really enjoy it...

Nice style, but it wasn't much fun reading through all of that. Maybe narrating it, or adding more then just the looped animation can make this submission better...


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CantripGhostCantripGhost

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 4, 2007

boring

flash is for animation, not weak sauce poetry time. you had some good graphics, but it was way too crowded. i had to lower the quality jsut to get a smooth walk going. lower your fps and get some sort of real animation going. oh ya, and give up poetry, its not for you.