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It's basically just a weak attempt at some humour. However, the joke is pretty weak, and the graphics are rubbish.
This was my 1st attempt at a Flash movie and it really shows, despite taking 7 hours. My later work is much better. Watch 'Asteroid (sampler)' for a decent animation.
You won't blieve this
I wtached this three times.
I thought I missed something each time so I watned to make sure I didn't miss anything. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Not sure why you did this with no sound, not even sure how this made it.
Yet it did, thus here we are.
Well that was a interestign short. It did have a message and it did present it . I doo look to see what the one with sound is like, I can only imagine taht it is better than this one. Sometiems sound is not always needed, but in this case I think it will help this flash.
You could have spent some more time on the graphics and such of this flash, that would have helped also.
Well, call me silly, call me stupid, but at the time, I was actually kinda annoyed when I came to Newgrounds, to find that most movies needed folk to hear the sound to understand what was going on. (I saw them at a uni library). For that reason, I made a decision to exclude sound from this and the sequel and sorta advertised it as silent meaning 'hey, even if you don't have speakers, you won't miss out on anything!'
My review of your review:
You begin with an amusing retelling of your viewing experience. Always interesting. The main point of a review, in fact, and something many forget.
You give both positive comments and constructive feedback. The latter is given with a pleasant tone, despite the low standard of the 'movie' - a considerable achievemnt.
There are a few typos, though they don't really detract from your review and I only mention them out of a 'completist' attitude.
You assume that the title of the flash means there was an alternative version available - a mistake. In life, try to avoid making presumptions.
It was an enjoyable read and a good review as is. My only suggestion would be to maybe have more specific constructive crit. Although it's questionable as to whether this submission would deserve it.
This review is short, but packs a good punch.
I give it 6.5/10
Very weird flash
The very first thing I noticed was that it took me a while to figure out how to get the movie to start. After finally being able to click on the blue line (I was trying to click the spiked parts rather than the original line) I saw what was a very weird movie. The entire movie was basically a spray can of fertiliser (I was gong to whine about how you spelled it wrong until I realized that fertilizer and fertiliser are both right) that was used on a mushroom, killing it. I don't understand the moral too much, as I wasn't convinced by this alone that fertilizer is good.
As for the graphics and animation in itself, a part of me absolutely hated the apprent lack of effort, but at the same time, I actually enjoyed the extremely abstact look of it. the purple lines on the black background give it a somewhat surreal feel that's hard to do in a flash, good or bad. It looked like the ground at times, the sky at others. The fertilizer and mushroom were drawn relatively well using only lines. Granted, I could say that it needs more color, sound, animation, and a complete makeover, and it would be true. It would be a lot better, but it would take away the one thing that this flash really has, and what probably allowed it to be protected: surrealism. Not a bad flash when taken at face value, terrible when compared to actual flashes.
You give a good amount of detail. It's always nice to hear the little things about your experiences, like your confusion over my button.
Your 2nd paragraph is rather insightful and raises some points, making me consider things I hadn't really thought about thus far.
When I consider my normal criteria (specific constructive criticism, one positive point, an overall appraisal) I see you met all 3 (what I consider) minimum requirements.
Your review, though, is greater than the sum of its parts, in the questions it raises; the points it states.
What the hell was that? I really don't see the point of this silly movie, it had nothing at all.
First of all, the graphics was horrible. The black banalic background added with those awful lines makes a very bad background which is not suitable for nothing. Also, the other things in this movie is bad drawn. I can't call those things charecters or objects, but they are awfully drawn!
Second of all, the style of this movie was illogical and awful. Although the bad graphics and illogical animation matched it, it was a bad style for being full of crappy things. You also had no sound, which always adds a lot to the style of the submission. The style was very bad.
Third of all, there was no sound, which is bad, get some sound in this godamn movie, it needs something!
It also wasn't very humorous, although it was crazy and illogical and out of order, it wasn't funny even a bit... So, you should make something funny in this movie as well.
It was a pretty bad movie, i didn't like it very much.
This is a rather good review for a rather shit submission.
Everything you say is founded and you give a few suggestions. Nicely, you aren't afraid of telling me exactly what it is you didn't like.
However, you do seem a bit vague at times. 'Style' was never a very clear term and so for you to tell me "the style of this movie was illogical and awful" and "it was a bad style for being full of crappy things" I can't tell exactly what you mean.
You do make up for it (and your few English mistakes, which I can understand upon seeing your location) by your sheer determination to spell out all you hate and detest.
One thing I would suggest is that you try to point out at least one positive thing, no matter how shit the subject matter is. Even prefacing the review with 'well, I can see it's really old, so hopefully you've improved since then' would give the whole review an upbeat tone. Or if it was recent and you didn't like it at all, you cold offer some positive remark, such as 'well, I'm sure if you keep trying, you will eventually improve' or something like that.
Such things can be really encouraging to a creator after submitting something.
Also, you say "it wasn't funny even a bit..." so why did you give it a score of 2 in humour, as opposed to 0?
Seems slightly contradictory to me.
Anyhow, nice review, lots of suggestions and attempts at constructive criticism, but try and incorporate a little bit of positivity too. Even if only one sentence or phrase.
Not your finest work
I guess you off the hook since it was your first flash and I know for a fact you can do better. Your experimental period if you might.
Add sound, a storyline and better animation and it might be a daisy in a pile of poo. Right now its just poo :(
I'm guessing the title is meant to be totally unrelated? Made me chuckle anyway.
Again with the single number across the board. It'd be nice if you'd put some thought into the individual ratings.
'I guess you off the hook'
I think you meant 'you're'.
Suggesting an author adds the things you suggested is basically asking for a brand new animation. They can't really be added as it is.
It'd be more valid to simply state 'this has no sound, storyline, any decent animation, or any other redeeming features for me.'
Well, I understand what you mean anyway.
As I mentioned earlier, I do believe the bare min. for a review should be one positive remark, an overview and some constructive criticism.
Even in the shittiest work, you should be able to find one positive thing to say about the actual work.
Consider it a challenge.
Your first movie
Sorry to say this, but this flash was really bad. However, I can see this flash was made a few years ago. It was also your first flash. Yep, an old flash with bad graphics. Overall, this flash was bad. I could've gave this flash an overall of 1 or even 0, but since this flash was made a few years ago, I thought I'd let you off and give the overall score a little higher than I could've given it.
Don't need to be sorry. No need to 'let me off'.
'This flash isn't funny! There's no aesthetic appeal and no other entertainment value here!'
Say it like it is.
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