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One of two. a school project, large file but its worth the wait. Thanks and enjoy.
looking for a place in some collection - serious shorts or something of the sort.
another flash thats so much more than i imagined....poor guy tho....
I like it, the flow was surprisingly smooth for how ridgid the animation was. 4/5 :)
where might one buy one of those invisable jackets that appear out of nowhere?
Finally! Someone who tries a cohesive plot!
This almost looks groundbreaking compared to the drudgery of filtering all the evil abusive crew spam submissions and wayward and repetitive stick fighting scenes that abuse and rip off all the ultra-power ultra-violent animes. With that said, seeing your submission is like a gift from God. I'll still stay fair on technical points, as this could be better in a few things.
Graphics: 7. The only faults here were trying to maintain correct perspective and proportions in the human characters. It's probably a style thing, but remember that the legs are about half of someone's height. Or maybe the hair threw me off.
Style: 8. This covers both art style and writing, and even voice-overs. They're all good.
The style of art is a cartoony blend but isn't afraid to get serious (I expected a more funny cartoon to be honest). A few issues with the proportions might only be stylistic, but if you can draw that well in flash, no doubt you draw on paper. Either digital photographs or scanned images of your drawn work and then tracing them in flash might help you out--provided you have either a scanner or digital camera.
The writing doesn't try to be too smart or witty (honestly, a zookeeper steps in droppings), but sometimes you can get too clever for your own good, at which point you start ostracizing the audience. Trust me: the kids around here go for simple and crude over complex and witty. In the brief time we have, the writing reveals enough about the main characters to make us feel for their fates. That's impressive, considering most around here dodge any sort of plot.
As for voice-overs, they are believable. You clearly got good help backing you up, and it shows.
P.S. about style: I love the product placements, from coca-cola to Pantera T-Shirts. I figured this could also get airtime as a completed piece--once both parts are combined--on a big-time for-profit site. You might even get advertising cash out of things like this....
Sound: 8. Everything comes in clear. You even avoid the wind effects from people's voices. Few people remember to avoid that. If you want crunching metal in a chase scene, the Audio Portal has excellent metal musicians. Look for Xenogenocide, Bad-Man Incorporated, or Rocker206 for prime examples. Golgoroth and GoreBastard are also noteworthy choices. You get bonus points locally at the site by doing a little research in the audio portal. Still, everything sound correct, and it fit, so however you go about submitting at this kind of quality is perfectly your business.
Violence: 6. Subjective, true, though instances of blood and dragging the tiger into a back alley are pretty violent. This is probably why you'd request a move to the Serious Shorts section. I agree.
Interactivity: 0. Objective, actually; only a replay button. No need for fancy DVD bonuses when it comes to an animation; the designation is chiefly for games.
Humor: 5. The beginning is funny... then it gets serious. I laughed when the old bag gets swatted. I used to play Zeebarf and Fulp's "Disorderly" in the day, but these days I live in a building filled with old people... so some kind of karma thing occurred. Anyway, it has its moments.
Overall: 10. Overall ain't an average. This is more than just worthy of the portal. I hope you had fun making it as much as I had watching it.
wow thank you best review ever. I love how you realy thaught about this and ways to improve, thanks
This was a really well made and enjoyable cartoon! The graphics were crispy, comical and nicley drawn. The sound was clear and free of static and popping (so many cartoons are ruined by bad recording!) and all the characters were instantley likable.
This should really be scoring higher than it is so I've given you top marks for everything to boost things up a bit!
I'll be looking out for part 2!
Blue Pencilmate meets Red Pencilmate, but things don't go so well...
While taking the day off work, Lloyd and Glynis take in a movie
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