Score: 7
"one thing though..."
date: May 23, 2007
Any mention of EXERCISE is conspicously missing from this moral tale. If you are going to establish a model for kids to follow, it needs to be the scholar-athlete, not just a scholar.
Bad teeth is the least of your worries when it comes to sweets. Sweets = plent of energy (making you feel full) with very little nutritional value, leading to an array of major health issues later in life and even stunting one's growth.
Tell a kid "sweets rot your teeth" and they just reply "i brush my teeth, it's ok"
But otherwise I thought it was good. Please continue bringing these messages to children!
Author's Response:
I guess the messages I gave do need a bit of work. I had actually reworked them once already to make it easier for kids but never gave much thought to the information I was giving because I mainly concentrated on delivering the story to kids. But I guess you're right and the information can be improved quite a bit