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Pythonic Pistons

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Author Comments

Welcome to tractionism! our first proper flash and for 2 teens without a stylus we think we did quite good, but its up to you. This is a little introduction, so that you understand a little bit about it. Constructive Criticism welcome. Enjoy. This flash is based on the novel "Mortal engines" by Philip reeves, All rights reserved.

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It's a good start...

But there's still a lot of room for improvement;

Firstly being there's too much text. It's not just me being lazy- that much writing would be better as a narrative, try doing it as a voice over. (Spelling and grammer is ok- but could use a brush up).

The plot is very good- hence the higher rating, but again there were a few bugs that really got to me. (If you're going to follow the Plot from Mortal Engines- check out the official site - you can fill yourself in on the history of the Traction era).
If you're not- then I apologise for the above- and you may continue as you please.

The animation is quite good- but again you can still improve- try shape tweening the map when you show the change from Before to after.
Also just add more- when you mention London - show us London. Show Manchester fitting it's jaws.

Your graphics look ok- there's some nice vector work at the start- but try to stick to one method- using the mouse+paintbrush on the world map kinda messes it up. (it's ok- you're not the 1st to do that!)

And on a final note- just to tidy it up a little, you need to liven up the title a little. Plain text is ok for narration/speech. C'mon its your main title! Pythonic Pistons! Add some artwork, show a little pride! - It should stand out! Jesus Christ- you're using Flash, not windows movie maker!!!
-Sorry, It just really bugs me. Thats all.

But if you only ever have one piece of advice- KEEP PRACTICING
Thats the best way foward.

this one says series ;o

work this out and you got yourself a series;o
really it looks really promising
watch you'r spelling i saw lanuch instead of launch (you prolly mistyped?)
towns eating towns ;') haha ;D

very nice intro...

now you NEED to make a Story with action and animation out of it. this could be awsome, you need to work with this, it will turn out for the better TRUST ME. you got my 5 on this, don't dissapoint me man.

the idea is alright

but do something with it before you present it to newgrounds two pages of background before you get to the game or flash is preferable to two flashes with the one being only an explination...

Odd piece of work...

You could have actually explained the portion where London is put on "Tracks".Although it's not entirely bad,but i think you could do without all the explaining through letters...after all this is a flash site.

Credits & Info

Views
2,444
Votes
13
Score
2.57 / 5.00

Uploaded
Sep 12, 2006
1:03 PM EDT