This is an improvement from my previous submission. "My dentist was possessed by the kreeper" is formed into two main parts of plot. The first being the nervus and suprized reaction from the kid when he realizes he going to be whipped through the lobby. This part was intended for action based interest. The second portion was given that scary feel. And at the end, you are suprized with an unexpected ending.
For those interested, pease come to my site "The Kreepers Lair."