Good one.
I like the idea you decided to get some script from a novel and make a short movie out of it, with characters talking of the script, making a re-enactment of sorts, interesting.
Did the book describe a sickness going around maybe? And they were in a hospital? Or did you think the atmosphere and background up yourself, from the way the story sounded to you? I imagined them in a hospital setting, with loads of sick people talking in the background, and Mike and his friend sitting on the ground, leaning up against the wall.
I watched the whole movie, it was decent to watch, listening to Mike talk about random things in his life to his friend, it kept me interested. I read a few pages of the script as well.
You could make the background a bit more detailed next time, thats all that needs to be thought over.
Anyways, I was interested, thank you.
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VegetA.
NG Portal Lieutenant.