Score: 8

"Hmm.."

by: Ivaron

date: August 17, 2006

Alright, first off, I think the whole story and idea behind it are great.

But, don't get me wrong here, it's just boring the way you told it. The story on itself: superb. The way it's told: bad.
Let me explain what's wrong:
- grammar and spelling mistakes
- way too long, too many repeats of the same thing. I continuely had the feeling that things you used 4 or more sentances for could be described in 1 short sentance.
- the plot could be seen coming from a mile away. I think it would be more of a tear-jerker if you could make it so one doesn't expect the sad ending.
- You tried to use too much emotion on the character. I think, to me atleast, it would 'feel' sadder if that part was left to the imagination of the 'reader'/viewer.

I liked the book, especially when flipping the pages, very much. Did you draw that or did you use AS? About those buttons with MC's in them you placed all over the place: it's a very good idea, and most of them were great, but some were just a tad... childish. Like the ambulance sound, and the falling tears. That kinda ruined the 'sad' mood.

Alot of whining here, but that's only because this has alot of potential and I'd hate to see that not being used as well as it could be.

Good luck on your next animated book/animation!

Score: 6

"Great story!"

by: PenguinLink

date: August 8, 2006

Graphics-Well, the score on the graphics is kinda low because there really weren't any graphics to judge. But that doesn't affect in anyway the overall score.

Style-The style on this was pretty good. You told the story in a very nicely way. But unfortunately, there were some spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. Which doesn't really matter because you can still understand. My only point here is that if you decide on making another animated book, it would be a good idea to check your spelling and grammar so that your book may look that it was done in a more professional way. :)

Sound-The music, which I recognized was from FFX-2, suited the plot and the symbolism of the book. Very well done on the selection of music. I also liked how you included those mini-sounds where you would point your cursor at. Such as the beeping sound and the ambulance. That was a very significant detail you included there. Nice job!

Violence- There really wasn't any, I suppose.

Interactvity- The interactivity on this was awesome. It's what makes this submission great. Pointing your cursor over words couldn't be this great. Which I think must have cost a lot of work with actionscript but nonetheless, adding this detail truly made the book seem more realistic.

Humor- Well, uhh, I don't think there wasn't any humor in this.

Overall-Nice job. My suggestions: If you decide to make another animated book, it would be great if you included the following. You could boost your interactivity score more than it was by allowing the viewer to select the events. Such as having the viewer choose the character's fate. It would be also great if you could make some type of background, such as a desk with a cup holding pens whatso ever. And last but not least, it would be great if you could include pictures as well, which could probably boost your graphic's score a bit. All in all, very nice job on this. Good luck on your future submissions.

Score: 10

"Good job man"

by: Worge

date: August 7, 2006

This book/movie almost made me cry. Good job and i hope u make more movies like this but nicer and happier.

Score: 10

"I loved this."

by: LamiaAngel

date: August 7, 2006

I ended up crying @ work but its worth it. I loved the animation of the words and sound that went with it. Kudos 2 U!

Score: 9

"uhhhhh"

by: thewoolybully

date: August 7, 2006

Is this flash/game had an icon, then I think it could've gone on the front page