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Jun 20, 2006 | 7:10 AM EDT

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Author Comments

ok, I have completed 'Create A Saiyan'

please tell me if there are any mistakes
enjoy

Reviews


FartSSj4FartSSj4

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Hair: SS Gohan Red
Eyes: Angry 1 Red eyebrows white pupils
Mouth: Grinding
Nose: Small
Ears: Saiyan
Body: Muscular
Wrist bands 2 Brown primary, White secondary
Shirt: Saiyan white primary, secondary (base plait) Grey, third brown
pants white
Boots: Type 4 Brown primary, Grey secondary
Tail 1 Black
R x 2
Background snow



stancmanstancman

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I really like this game and here is my story (sorry im not going to have how to make him look as i see him know but the story will give you hints along the way and also the story will have TONS of description and also detail to make up for it.) Chapter 1. As Robert and Stan walk through the strange place where the majin leader and gang live they notice that pink fly's across the city Robert said run out of here! (Stan replied) no way we have to wait after they show them self's Gron the majin leader said (Gron) Leave know! As Stan and Robert flew back after slamming into the wall of a strange home Stan's turned Super sayin after noticing that Gron had called in his gang and pink and gold colors filled the room as Robert whent past his limmits and became a super sayin 3 with the goldin hair he was lighting up the room as Stan s pants start getting ripped up after the posse of majins bombard him with punches and kicks.

One of the majins notices as bright golden yellow fills his eyes as he is blasted into oblivion! By a single blast of red.... After Stan is dropped by the juggle of punches and kicks he drops to the floor and a HUGE slam was made when he hit the floor.But Robert was too busy to help me (me as in Stan) So he obliterated and killed all of the majin's...(Thats all i will wright for know tune in for more!)



AwesomeABPAwesomeABP

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Hair: SSJ Gohan, Black
Eyes: Normal, primary black, secondary black
Mouth: Long smile
Nose: Pointy
Ears: Saiyan
Body:Muscular
Hands: Wrist bands 1, Purple
Torso: Fighter, Primary dark green, secondary purple
Belt: Tied, purple
Legs: Pants, dark green
Boots: Type 4, Primary purple, secondary yellow
Tail: Any

Backstory: Raised on a satellite orbiting Planet Vegeta in an alternate timeline to the original story, Kyabetsu grew up with his older brothers Broly and Kaijin. His father, Paragus, hadn't been home since Kyabetsu was conceived. Kaijin grew spiteful of Paragus and took solace in Bardock, who was like a second father to him. Kyabetsu was born with a low power-level, which was surprising considering the power of his older brothers when they were born. By the age of 4 he was a disappointment, as he couldn't even channel his ki. Kaijin tried to teach him how to fight, but Kyabetsu was unable to keep up and often forgot the basics. The training came to a halt when Kyabetsu declared that he didn't want to fight. From then on, Kaijin thought of him as an annoyance and would hit him when he said something that slightly irritated him. He believed that Kyabetsu would never amount to anything and when told by a fortuneteller from a race of psychics that he would one day become the strongest in the universe, Kaijin declared her a fraud and killed her.

Kaijin and Vegeta never got along, and after being taunted by him, Vegeta challenged Kaijin to a Fight. During the match, Vegeta said some things about Kaijin's mother that he would later regret. Kaijin, having a dangerous temper already, transformed into a false SSJ and crushed him. As Kaijin was about to deliver the finishing blow, Frieza's attack began. Kaijin yelled at Kyabetsu to protect their mother, who was in the crowd of spectators, and burst into the air. He found Bardock preparing for a beam struggle he would most likely lose. Kaijin rushed forward and dealt Frieza a fatal blow. Frieza's attack dissipated and he was too injured to transform. If he had, Kaijin wouldn't have stood a chance. Frieza was carried into his ship by one of his soldiers. Bardock, bleeding out, told Kaijin that someday he would do great things. He then drew a strange symbol onto Kaijin's chest with his blood.

When Kaijin returned he saw that his mother had been hit by a piece of debris. He lashed out at Kyabetsu, blaming him.

A few months later, Frieza's son, now calling himself "Ultra Frieza" attacked the planet a long with a group of Saiyans whose allegiance had been bought. Instead of blowing up the planet, Ultra Frieza and his troops descended to the ground and began slaughtering everyone. Kaijin overpowered one of the soldiers and tried to escape in his ship, when he was attacked by another, one he had known as a child. He soon realized he wasn't strong enough to win, so he turned to try to run for the fallen soldier's ship, only to see Kyabetsu inside, frantically pushing buttons. In his arms was Bardock's son, Kakarot. Suddenly, the ship took off, heading for Earth. 3 days later, just as they passed Earth's cloud level, Kyabetsu accidentally hit the door switch in his sleep and was thrown from the ship. Luckily, Kakarot rolled into the space between the seat and the wall, so he didn't fall. Kyabetsu landed outside the house of an old married couple, losing his memory. The couple took him in and named him Tobi.

7 years later, Tobi returned home from school to find that his adoptive parents, who he believed to be his real parents, had been murdered. Fueled with rage, Tobi unlocked the power that had been hidden since birth and transformed into a Super Saiyan. He tracked down the murderers using his unnaturally good ki senses and brutally murdered them. His power came at a price; his sanity. Intrigued by his blood lust and power, King Piccolo took him in as his student, teaching him how to use his powers more effectively. When Piccolo was killed unbeknownst to Tobi, he went looking for him and found Kami. There, he was taught how to suppress his "genocidal tendencies" as Popo put it. He grew up a lonely, traumatized boy, though he put on a cheerful act to hide it. Even all those years later, a part of him remembered the painful memories that he had suppressed, along with the memories of his life as a Saiyan. It wasn't until he was 24 that his old life returned in the form of the same traitors that had slaughtered the other Saiyans, and his brother Kaijin, know calling himself Tokoro. Both were looking for the dragon balls, and together they pulled Tobi back into the destiny that had been glimpsed at by the fortuneteller all those years ago. He met a young Saiyan called Blu, was confronted by the Saiyan traitors, became a super Saiyan once more, fought with the traitor's leader Phrahl, dueled with Tokoro for killing the Z fighters, assumed the SSJ 2 form, teamed up with Tokoro (who had just wanted the dragon balls to restore the planet where he had spent the last 20 years) to help Goku defeat Vegeta, held off a whole army of Saiyans with Tokoro while Blu, Krillin, Bulma and Gohan left for planet Namek, defeated Phrahl's right hand man Banon, discovered a piece of Majin Buu in a humanoid form that the Saiyans had been experimenting on, fought Phrahl again, who seemed to be being controlled by someone else and many more things that I can't say here because this back story is long enough already since it goes all the way into GT.

Wow, this took an hour to write. I should probably stop wasting my life with stuff like this. Anyway, if you're interested in the rest of Tobi's story I plan to write out it all at some point. C ya!



TolninTolnin

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Could use a save button, other than that, awesome.

Name: Tolnin
Head: Scars
Hair: Gotenks (Black)
Eyes: Angry 2 (Black and black)
Mouth: Grinding
Noses: Pointy
Ears: Saiyan (1st color)
Body: Muscular
Hands: Wrist Bands 2 (Black and Red)
Torso: Fighter (Black and Red)
Belts: Tied (Red)
Legs: Pants (Black)
Boots: Type 4 (Black and Red)
Tail: Tail 2 (Brown)
Draggable: R x 2
Effects: Electric
Background: Kai's Planet
Music: SSJ Vegeta
Backstory: Tolnin was born on Planet Earth years after all of the Z-Fighters died. His brother, Pookie, is 9 years younger than Tolnin, which is 26. Tolnin, with his full blooded saiyan parents, Ninlot and Eikoop, trained everyday. Tolnin quickly learned about Master Roshi, and without hesitation, Tolnin flew to Master Roshi's for training. He got Master Roshi's outfit for training, but modified the colors. Tolnin quickly surpassed Roshi, then Korin, then Popo, but when he got to King Kai's, he had trouble, mainly since he couldn't train with Kami, and Dende is not a fighter. He could barely stand up, he was doing worse than Goku on his first visit. After about a year, he surpassed King Kai. Tolnin now knows some of his own moves as well as: Kamehameha, Spirit Bomb, Kaioken, and Instant Transmission. Tolnin's first legitimate foe was an android stuck in a different lab of Gero, Ignacio. His android name was Ultimate Android. Ignacio started terrorizing the Earth, Tolnin did not know what to do, he was not strong enough to fight Ignacio, but he still raged and went in, he held his own for a little bit, but then got beaten. He learned about the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and he rushed to it. They upgraded it so you can spend 4 years in there, and you can go in there until the 4 year limit is up, if it's not, you can go in there unlimited amount of times. Tolnin did not know how to go super saiyan just yet, he didn't even know it existed, but one day, in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, he was raging because he knew he would be able to defeat Ignacio. He eventually went super saiyan, he was extremely confused at the moment. After the 4 years was up, he came out. Dende could not beleive his power, Tolnin flew as fast as he could to Ignacio, he saw all the cities in ruins. He got extremely mad and charged toward Ignacio and then punched him into a mountain, and then doing a blast barrage. Ignacio got up with part of his body in pieces, Tolnin was relieved, until Ignacio regenerated the parts. Tolnin got punched in the face into a building, Tolnin noticed he should go somewhere else to fight, so he told Ignacio to follow, and he did. After they reached the wasteland, Tolnin went super saiyan and Ignacio was greatly suprised. Tolnin charged at Ignacio and upper cut him and then slammed Ignacio in the ground. Tolnin then used his Kamehameha Barrage where he threw Ignacio into the air really high, he then blasted a Kamehameha above, below, and to the both sides of Ignacio using Instant Transmission to get to those points quickly. Ignacio was completely gone, well at least that's what Tolnin thought, he then heard Ignacio say "POWER UP", which is what he says to go to his next "transformation". Ignacio just gets a lot stronger and gets a yellow glow around the border of his body. Ignacio then quickly charges toward Tolnin, and then grabs his neck and starts choking him. Tolnin can not break loose, then, out of no where, Pookie, which is not much of a fighter, kicks Ignacio in the head knocking him away from Tolnin. Tolnin then falls to the ground and Pookie goes to his aid. Ignacio then blasts with a lot of power and weakens both Tolnin and Pookie greatly. Tolnin is knocked out, and Pookie is close to death. Pookie then gets the senzu bean bag from Tolnin's waist and gives himself one, he then picks Tolnin up and flies him to his house. Pookie waits until Tolnin wakes up, then gives him a senzu bean. Tolnin, with the extra strength from being near death, gets up to train some more, for Tolnin was not aware of the power up Ignacio can go through. He trains on King Kai's world since the gravity is stronger. Tolnin trains for 4 more years on King Kai's world, and through those 4 years everybody on Earth, excluding Tolnin's family and Master Roshi, is dead. Tolnin then teleports in front of Ignacio, who happens to be at Kame house. Ignacio gets startled, but then says "POWER UP" and then proceeds to blast Kame house with all of his might, but in slow motion for a nice effect. Tolnin tries to stop it, but is caught off guard. Tolnin hears Master Roshi screaming, and then sees Master Roshi dead, and turned to dust. Ignacio then blasts in a direction that seems random, but it is not. Tolnin lets it slide, until he realises that is the way to Dende's Lookout. Tolnin tries his best to stop the blast, and he does, but then a bigger blast comes out of no where and destroys the Lookout. Tolnin grows extremely sad, then angry. He goes super saiyan and screams extremely loud in anger, but Ignacio is no where to be found. Tolnin thinks on where he would be, and then he notices something. His parents house where Pookie and his family is! He then teleports to them, and it seems pretty peaceful there, so he waited and nothing happened. Ignacio didn't seem to be there. Then a huge blast blasted the house, and everyone inside died. Tolnin grew angrier then he ever has been, he remembers the good times with Pookie, and then grows angrier. He charges to a new power he didn't think possible, not super saiyan 2, but something. It was the Legendary Super Saiyan form. Ignacio then freaks out in terror. Tolnin then grabs Ignacio's head and crushes it instantly. Ignacio double kicks Tolnin's chest, and it made Tolnin fly into a mountain, and yes, it did hurt Tolnin. Tolnin screamed and flew towards Ignacio as fast as he could and punched Ignacio in half. Tolnin then started punching his pieces over and over again, Ignacio was in pieces, Tolnin thought he won, but he was wrong. Ignacio regenerated back, for even if the smallest piece of Ignacio is left, he can regenerate. Tolnin grew angrier when he realised this, Tolnin then landed on the ground and did his signature attack, Sunshine Attack. To do this move, Tolnin punched foward with both arms while kneeling down, but his hands looked like they were about to grab something instead of being a fist. Tolnin then punched backwards with his hands still open, and energy forms in his hands, Tolnin then blasts his attack with the two huge energy attacks. Ignacio then blasts his energy attack, though it was just and energy wave, nothing special, he just did it out of terror. The beam struggle lasted for 30 seconds untill Tolnin stopped going easy on him, then eventually oblitterating Ignacio. Tolnin then went back to his normal form and fell to his knees crying. King Kai then asks Tolnin to come to his planet, so Tolnin does. King Kai tells him all about Namek and how he already told the Namekians about his arrival. Tolnin then teleports to Namek and summons Porunga. Tolnin's first wish was to bring back everybody that died due to Ignacio, his second wish was to fix all the cities that were ruined. His third wish was to bring back Dr. Gero. King Kai then said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". Tolnin ignores King Kai and goes to Gero's blown up lab, where Gero died. Gero was there of course. Tolnin then asked Gero to tell him where all of his labs were or else he would kill him again. Gero told him about all of the spots, he actually had A LOT of backup labs. Tolnin then destroyed every single lab he was told about. Tolnin then found the Earth dragon balls and summoned Shenron. He asked Shenron to return Gero to his human form, his second wish was to make Gero forget all about the Red Ribbon Army, and every thing he knows about Science. Gero then lived a normal life.



kalap12kalap12

Rated 5 / 5 stars

its awsome