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Jun 20, 2006 | 7:10 AM EDT

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Author Comments

ok, I have completed 'Create A Saiyan'

please tell me if there are any mistakes



Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Could use a save button, other than that, awesome.

Name: Tolnin
Head: Scars
Hair: Gotenks (Black)
Eyes: Angry 2 (Black and black)
Mouth: Grinding
Noses: Pointy
Ears: Saiyan (1st color)
Body: Muscular
Hands: Wrist Bands 2 (Black and Red)
Torso: Fighter (Black and Red)
Belts: Tied (Red)
Legs: Pants (Black)
Boots: Type 4 (Black and Red)
Tail: Tail 2 (Brown)
Draggable: R x 2
Effects: Electric
Background: Kai's Planet
Music: SSJ Vegeta
Backstory: Tolnin was born on Planet Earth years after all of the Z-Fighters died. His brother, Pookie, is 9 years younger than Tolnin, which is 26. Tolnin, with his full blooded saiyan parents, Ninlot and Eikoop, trained everyday. Tolnin quickly learned about Master Roshi, and without hesitation, Tolnin flew to Master Roshi's for training. He got Master Roshi's outfit for training, but modified the colors. Tolnin quickly surpassed Roshi, then Korin, then Popo, but when he got to King Kai's, he had trouble, mainly since he couldn't train with Kami, and Dende is not a fighter. He could barely stand up, he was doing worse than Goku on his first visit. After about a year, he surpassed King Kai. Tolnin now knows some of his own moves as well as: Kamehameha, Spirit Bomb, Kaioken, and Instant Transmission. Tolnin's first legitimate foe was an android stuck in a different lab of Gero, Ignacio. His android name was Ultimate Android. Ignacio started terrorizing the Earth, Tolnin did not know what to do, he was not strong enough to fight Ignacio, but he still raged and went in, he held his own for a little bit, but then got beaten. He learned about the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and he rushed to it. They upgraded it so you can spend 4 years in there, and you can go in there until the 4 year limit is up, if it's not, you can go in there unlimited amount of times. Tolnin did not know how to go super saiyan just yet, he didn't even know it existed, but one day, in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, he was raging because he knew he would be able to defeat Ignacio. He eventually went super saiyan, he was extremely confused at the moment. After the 4 years was up, he came out. Dende could not beleive his power, Tolnin flew as fast as he could to Ignacio, he saw all the cities in ruins. He got extremely mad and charged toward Ignacio and then punched him into a mountain, and then doing a blast barrage. Ignacio got up with part of his body in pieces, Tolnin was relieved, until Ignacio regenerated the parts. Tolnin got punched in the face into a building, Tolnin noticed he should go somewhere else to fight, so he told Ignacio to follow, and he did. After they reached the wasteland, Tolnin went super saiyan and Ignacio was greatly suprised. Tolnin charged at Ignacio and upper cut him and then slammed Ignacio in the ground. Tolnin then used his Kamehameha Barrage where he threw Ignacio into the air really high, he then blasted a Kamehameha above, below, and to the both sides of Ignacio using Instant Transmission to get to those points quickly. Ignacio was completely gone, well at least that's what Tolnin thought, he then heard Ignacio say "POWER UP", which is what he says to go to his next "transformation". Ignacio just gets a lot stronger and gets a yellow glow around the border of his body. Ignacio then quickly charges toward Tolnin, and then grabs his neck and starts choking him. Tolnin can not break loose, then, out of no where, Pookie, which is not much of a fighter, kicks Ignacio in the head knocking him away from Tolnin. Tolnin then falls to the ground and Pookie goes to his aid. Ignacio then blasts with a lot of power and weakens both Tolnin and Pookie greatly. Tolnin is knocked out, and Pookie is close to death. Pookie then gets the senzu bean bag from Tolnin's waist and gives himself one, he then picks Tolnin up and flies him to his house. Pookie waits until Tolnin wakes up, then gives him a senzu bean. Tolnin, with the extra strength from being near death, gets up to train some more, for Tolnin was not aware of the power up Ignacio can go through. He trains on King Kai's world since the gravity is stronger. Tolnin trains for 4 more years on King Kai's world, and through those 4 years everybody on Earth, excluding Tolnin's family and Master Roshi, is dead. Tolnin then teleports in front of Ignacio, who happens to be at Kame house. Ignacio gets startled, but then says "POWER UP" and then proceeds to blast Kame house with all of his might, but in slow motion for a nice effect. Tolnin tries to stop it, but is caught off guard. Tolnin hears Master Roshi screaming, and then sees Master Roshi dead, and turned to dust. Ignacio then blasts in a direction that seems random, but it is not. Tolnin lets it slide, until he realises that is the way to Dende's Lookout. Tolnin tries his best to stop the blast, and he does, but then a bigger blast comes out of no where and destroys the Lookout. Tolnin grows extremely sad, then angry. He goes super saiyan and screams extremely loud in anger, but Ignacio is no where to be found. Tolnin thinks on where he would be, and then he notices something. His parents house where Pookie and his family is! He then teleports to them, and it seems pretty peaceful there, so he waited and nothing happened. Ignacio didn't seem to be there. Then a huge blast blasted the house, and everyone inside died. Tolnin grew angrier then he ever has been, he remembers the good times with Pookie, and then grows angrier. He charges to a new power he didn't think possible, not super saiyan 2, but something. It was the Legendary Super Saiyan form. Ignacio then freaks out in terror. Tolnin then grabs Ignacio's head and crushes it instantly. Ignacio double kicks Tolnin's chest, and it made Tolnin fly into a mountain, and yes, it did hurt Tolnin. Tolnin screamed and flew towards Ignacio as fast as he could and punched Ignacio in half. Tolnin then started punching his pieces over and over again, Ignacio was in pieces, Tolnin thought he won, but he was wrong. Ignacio regenerated back, for even if the smallest piece of Ignacio is left, he can regenerate. Tolnin grew angrier when he realised this, Tolnin then landed on the ground and did his signature attack, Sunshine Attack. To do this move, Tolnin punched foward with both arms while kneeling down, but his hands looked like they were about to grab something instead of being a fist. Tolnin then punched backwards with his hands still open, and energy forms in his hands, Tolnin then blasts his attack with the two huge energy attacks. Ignacio then blasts his energy attack, though it was just and energy wave, nothing special, he just did it out of terror. The beam struggle lasted for 30 seconds untill Tolnin stopped going easy on him, then eventually oblitterating Ignacio. Tolnin then went back to his normal form and fell to his knees crying. King Kai then asks Tolnin to come to his planet, so Tolnin does. King Kai tells him all about Namek and how he already told the Namekians about his arrival. Tolnin then teleports to Namek and summons Porunga. Tolnin's first wish was to bring back everybody that died due to Ignacio, his second wish was to fix all the cities that were ruined. His third wish was to bring back Dr. Gero. King Kai then said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". Tolnin ignores King Kai and goes to Gero's blown up lab, where Gero died. Gero was there of course. Tolnin then asked Gero to tell him where all of his labs were or else he would kill him again. Gero told him about all of the spots, he actually had A LOT of backup labs. Tolnin then destroyed every single lab he was told about. Tolnin then found the Earth dragon balls and summoned Shenron. He asked Shenron to return Gero to his human form, his second wish was to make Gero forget all about the Red Ribbon Army, and every thing he knows about Science. Gero then lived a normal life.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

its awsome


Rated 5 / 5 stars

Ear Accecerys:Potara
Tail:Tail 1
Backstory:Zach trained with Bills all his life with a freamd he liked but after years of training the ship was Exploding.Bills left with wise and Zach teleported His freand to Earth to his dad Goku wow he almost escaped but all the kais saved him.He game to earth and liked there helping trunks his new master. da End


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

head: cut
hair: ssj3-grey
mouth: grinding
nose: pointy
ears: saiyan
earings: normal-yellow
body: muscular
legs: pants-dark red
hands: gloves 2-grey
torso: cape-dark red 1 , grey 2, grey 3
belts: belt-dark red 1, yellow 2
legs: dark red
boots: type 2-grey 1,black 2
tail: Tail 1-brown
effects: dust
background: desert

Story: Creazue was a planet trade organization clone who had the power of all plantet trade organization workers (except for frieza ) once he reached his ultimate form from there dna. He was mainly super sayain from Nappa , Raditz and Vegeta. Creazue was a project that Frieza was working on but when he finished he realised it he could possibly stronger than he is and could betray him so Frieza stopped his project and left him in their bunker in Namek but Frieza didn't bother destroying him. 5 years later after Frieza dies Creazue floats through space after the destruction of Namek he was floating through space for years but he broke out. (BUT before I go on let me make this clear his name isn't Creazue YET it will come up later in the storyline). Creazue was evil as Frieza set his agenda to set off to destroy planets, when he woke up the only planet he couldn't blow up was Earth and he was travelling so fast when he woke up it wasn't that long until he was falling through atmosphere of Earth .He landed in the desert where Vegeta and Goku first fought but Vegeta, goku and gohan all felt his enormous ki so they quickly went there and they found Creazue laying in a HUGE crater but hardly wounded. When he woke up Goku put his hand on Creazues' head then Goku said to Vegeta "There is no time to explain we need to kill him." Goku was charging up Kamehameha and shot it at Creazue but he wasn't fazed he walked up to Goku and grabbed his neck and lifted him up but Creazues' agenda changed completely when he hit his head when he fell and he said "I fight evil not with it don't attack me and I won't attack you." He put Goku down and then Goku, Goten and Vegeta noticed that they were moving like they were in slow motion but Creazue wasn't moving slow his eyes became purple and he was slowly moving into the air then it stopped. "I have gathered all of your information" said Creatzue "looks like we could all work together"


Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Name: Son Jakku
Head: Scars
Eyes:Normal-Eyebrows: Brown
Mouth: Long Smile
Nose: Long
Ears: Saiyan
Body: Muscular
Hands: Gloves 2- Colour: Black
Torso: Fighter-Colour 1: Black-Colour 2: Blue-Dark
Belt: Tied-Colour: Blue-Dark
Legs: Pants-Colour: Black
Boots: Type 3-Colour 1: White-Colour 2:Black

Backstory: The great grandson of Goku and son of Goten and Alicia he was born on the planet Verdol the new home of the Saiyans he was born with a twin, Vex, Vex was sent too a planet with 12 other Saiyans him being the only quarter Saiyan. Goten, Jakku and Alicia returned to Earth. After a few years he trained with his dad and other Z warriors until he became one of the strongest fighters in the universe. Him, Zento-ki (Trunks' son) and Gaka (trunks' robot and Zento-ki's robot brother) going on weird adventures and protecting the earth and universe. He als married Zento-ki's year younger sister May and had 2 children, Louise and Drako