Expressionless

I agree with everyone who said the characters need to be more expressive. They were very wooden and it was hard to tell what they were thinking. Yes, I could imagine based on the situations but as a storyteller you need to show it, express it.

Beyond that, don't worry about the people who say "it's been done before." EVERYTHING has been done before. Hero lives. Hero dies. Hero saves the princess. Unless you get really weird it's all been done, multiple times, in some form or another. Just try to make sure you do it better, or at least in a way that forms your story more.

In short, it was a pretty good effort but you can do better. Oh, and don't forget the scene selection/skip. It would raise your interactivity score.

Could be a lot better

The expressions particularly could be improved a lot. Everybody has the same blank expression no matter what is happening. The child's voice isn't very convincing either (get a better actor).

wait a minute...

first off, everyone looks like cavemen! push the lower lip forward a bit.
second, everyone's voices were delayed and dull. get more inspiration.
and lastly, this "boy sees town burning" and all that jazz has been done before in too many places, like fable for example. Also, when whats his face and that kids dad were fighting, their faces were dull, it looked like they were working in a cubicle or something. other than that, it was okay.

Good idea, but needs work

I'm not really one to talk, but the cartoon was sorta lazy. I could tell you used the same Symbols over and over alot, and the action and movement was alittle bland. But the story's aight. Just needs practice, and alot more detail, from one author who just started a few months ago to another, (and I can tell). But in thought, and length, straight job. It's just bland, try to make it more exciting, man! peace

OK , here is my constructive criticism

This was a pretty good movie and entertaining at pretty much most of the movie but here are a few things which I believe you should work on :

-The animation : I know that you've used tweens for pretty much all of it and there's nothing wrong with that provided it fits in well with the scenes . The problem here was that in some parts ... the movement seemed awkward and choppy ... like... the way the boy moved ... I think maybe you should have had made more models for the arms and legs ... split 'em in more sections sections ( i.e legs : thighs , feet ) ( i.e arms : forearm , hands , fingers) so you can have a more smoother and convincing tween movement . Also , it wouldn't hurt if you practiced some frame by frame animation and shoved it in to add to the mix!

The fire part : This is one of the parts where I got a major gripe with : Why was the boy not worried?! I mean , he's stuck in a house that's burning on fire and he could've gotten killed .... and yet , his facial expression seemed "not worried" ... I think you should take care of that and make sure that doesn't happen next time because you want the scenes to be as credible as possible .

- The fighting scene : Once again , this goes back to the animation part... It suffered in quality because of the improper use of models and maybe if you had done it in frame by frame ; you wouldn't have none of these issues . I cannot stress how important it is for a tweened animation to have all the body parts properly separated and synched ... hopefully , next time ... you will separate the legs and the arms in more parts to have a more fluid movement .

Well , this is it .

I wish you good luck on your next installments and your future projects . Take care