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I'm just leaving this here, so people can see how far I have improved. Yeah, I learned from my mistakes from submitting this and I expect my next one to have way better reviews.
The only thing I fixed was the scene selection and the middle finger part, other than that... it's the same as before.
I just can't do it... theres no way in hell I could blam that cute little creature... I just can't do it.
Yes, I have drawn the creature very cute. I am deciding to redo this film with a story line that I failed to follow. Kagura_girl seemed to enjoy my cute creature but she wanted more of the story plot behind it, not stupid off topic things. I am going to draw in my own backgrounds and stuff. Since I will have a wacom in my hand in the next few days, this will be possible. I don't really like my funny mature scripts anyways. People may find it offensive. Here's my other series called:
New Series Tribe of the Damn (RATED MATURE)PLOT introduction of the tribal effect. (this is a future project by zeraugs)
Setting: Guy in his girlfriend's room
Guy says: Honey, I'm ready for some hardcore action.
Girl says: I'll be right there, turn off the lights, I have a special surprise for you.
Guy says: aright (Action, he closes his eyes, he hears a loud breathing noise, and a wet feeling. He says holy cow! DId you just ejaculated on me, we didn't even do it yet! Oh yeah That's the stuff. He then opens his eyes. CLose zoom on his eyes to give espression that he's having the best time of his life. Sees his girlfriend's head chopped off and laying next towards his face. AAAAAAA!!! Camera angle Zooms from bed to across room and he sees a dark image person in a black cloak. This mysterious person had a bloody savery mouth and then he spits something back at the guy. The bloody organ falls slowing onto his stomach and onto his hands. He then realizes that it is his penis. He looks to his left and sees a creappy doll, do you want to be my friend? Then suddently out of nowhere a big gaint bird smashes through the window and bites his ripped off cock and flies back outside the window. The guy screams I'm gonna stay a fucken virgin forever!!!! The guy gets so pissed that this happened to him that he had no more reasons to live anymore. He side kicks the guy in the black cloack and grabs the doll saying "do you want to be my friend" and shoves it up the dark cloak's person ass and then he grab the lap post next to him and jamps the black cloak guy several times and then the guy shits and on the black cloak guy. Then out of nowhere an old men jumps out of nowhere in slow motion with a camera and takes a picture.
End of Scene 1.
Wow, that was... Really pointless. I has absolutely no idea what was going on! The graphics were horrid, the humor... Just wasn't funny. I think my brain just exploded from watching this!
True, I do agree with you. I threw the audience off by a tangent line. For that I am sorry, this was my first attempt at flash and I didn't understand the basis, and I didn't follow what I had written. For that, I do deserve this low score. However, I will not repeat the same mistakes over again. Thanks the review. If not for you and others, I would have never realized this great error of mine. THANKS!!! I am much more excited and more organized this time than when I did this film. I now know my flaws, and now I will turn them into my strengths. thanks.
i liked it.
there it is. i said it all.... it was good, but not great. u see, i think it had something 2 do with the cute little animated dude and the photographic backround not matching. i know that drawing a backround would take quite a while, but even if u didnt the sequel would still be good, so i recommend u go on with the series (or, if its not supposed 2 be a series, then make it one)
and also, instead of just having the scene selection u should also add in a simple 'watch the movie' icon becuase that way we dont have 2 worry about which scene we should visit (most ppl are smart enuff just 2 visit the first scene, but hey that doesnt mean every1 lol)
like i said, i look forward to more work on this topic, dont let me down ^_^
Yeah. I could redo this animation again, with my own drawn in backgrounds. Yeah, most of my potential was at the start, the I lost it all as I went further in the animation.
The story supposed to go like this. Scene 1, cub did listen to his mom about wondering too far from the cottage, cub chases a butterfly and into the wilderness. This animation you saw at the start was the beginning of that story. After that I failed to continue off the story. In the next scene, the cub gets hungry and lays flat on the ground thinking about his past memories and everyone whom he misses. The next few days the cub meets a cub girl, and they have fun. as months went on, unexpectantly his girlfriend got bitten by a snake when trying to save him. She screams and tells him to continue on and found his family. One night, the cub looks right up the stars and wishes he was safe back home. After months pasted, the cub was too tired to move any longer. the cubs see a blurry dark image before he passes out. When he wakes up he sees his mom, and the mom hugs him that her son is still alive. However, the cub was sad of what had happened towards his girlfriend. After 2 years passed, the cub left the cottage again to hunt for some food for the village, there was a person in a dark cloak. the dark cloak person runs away, and the cub chases after it passing many trees in the forest. the person in dark cloak was running so fast that it went of of teh cub's site. Soon later he finds his girlfriend with a fox like creature next to her, at first the cub attacks the fox for several minutes. the girl cubs screams and stops each other from fighting. the girl cub explains what had happened 2 years ago when the snake was about to kill her. Out of nowhere this fox jumped out of nowhere and killed the snake and saving her life in the process. the cub and teh girl cub hugs each other. Then it was supposed to aim at the sky, then the stars, then the outside appearance of earth. Like this story better?
Now, I have to warn you about turn-offs for viewers. This may seem strange, but when I see a little cartoon character giving me the finger. That does not please me.
Also, beginning with the Matrix? I got confused then figured out what you were doing.
Those were two times that I wanted to stop the flash and give it a low score. It makes me think that you are not serious about your work. Therefore, I get the impression that you did not try hard. But I make it a rule to see the whole flash. Now I can say that I liked what you did.
It was very calming when you actually began your flash.
Also, bloopers? I don't think the real flash was long enough for bloopers.
Good job, and I hope you consider my requests.
Thanks for the great advise, thanks to you and 2 plus others, I have revised my other story plot and mood setting. True, I did confused people with that maxtrix stuff and the finger thing. It probably offended people and that is not what I wanted to portray. For that I have failed; however, flash artists must already learn from their pasts mistakes and then improve on them. thanks for the help, I won't do that in future animations.
points for graphics, but this just sucks.
just wasn't good. at all.
Thanks, for giving me points on graphics, that was my primary goal. I do agree with you, my storyline sucked badly.
Pilot for my new show!
A story about a worm, a beetle and a very hungry bird…
New video for you to watch, while we wait for the next plague to happen...
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