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Mr Stum episode 1

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rated 1.88 / 5 stars
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1,461 Views
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Credits & Info

Uploaded
Mar 12, 2006 | 8:34 AM EST

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Author Comments

Hi my name is stu and this is my first animation. Im fairly new to flash so any help or constructive critisism would be great. I did the aimation and my friend terry did everthing else-thanks. Well, enjoy.

Reviews


bumpermelonbumpermelon

Rated 1 / 5 stars

ok......

heres what i think, actually put sound besides roaring in there, make it longer, the animation wasnt so good. keep trying though.



drdnadrdna

Rated 2 / 5 stars

a great first flash on doughnuts

This has a lot of potential. The graphics aren't horrible. It is clear you put some time into them and have some skill. However, they are pretty cartoonish, and if I was pressed to guess I would say you must be perhaps 12 years old or so? The problem is the variation from scene to scene, demonstrating a lack of practice. If you practice more, much more, you will continue to develop your own style and the drawings will come out much more smoothly. Variation should be an obvious intent to vary an image for a purpose, not appearing to vary owing to an inability to draw the same thing twice.

The animating was minimal. It needs to be developed since it helps to liven up the story and move it along. (e.g., Getting up and walking over to James, grabbing the doughnut box and looking inside.)

Storyboarding for pacing was acceptable, but some different perspectives could be employed to add interest (e.g., shot from inside doughnut box as Stum's face reddens with anger, etc.)

Sound is critical and a weakness here. This is the sort of story that is greatly buoyed by good cartoon voices to match the characters. It's more than just a comic strip on paper after all.

Story here was only very minimally humorous. Stum is introdcued as a low-level worker (waiting for a promotion) but then appears to be a mid-level manager (his interactions with other staff and James) so it's a bit unclear; this should be tidied up. Make it more coherent, enhance continuity, make it funnier.

"Donut" is a American variation on doughnut.

Good job!!!


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Muta32Muta32

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Not Bad

I kinda enjoyed it. The only part I didn't like was having to read all of it. I please add sound in future submissions.

By the way: Where the He!! did that guy get a fork?
Donuts are finger food. So does he just always carry his *battle fork* around with him?



ThedirtyjoeThedirtyjoe

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Good

The guy before is wrong, he probably goes to Dunkin' Donuts but the actually word is doughnut. No seriously it is. They just shortened it. I liked it a lot.


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OdyssicOdyssic

Rated 5 / 5 stars

good first animation

he went crazy over a donut very good


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