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A Marine orders some pizza... and... gets killed by his "Drunk" freinds...
originally this was going to be an entry in a zombie collab... but that collab died and never came out... so now i'm just releasing it here as a nice little short... enjoy! ^_^
Decent Premise, Terrible Delivery
This video, honestly, could have been funny. I had a good amount of hope for it. The art showed serious promise (you actually went through the effort of drawing! I'm quite impressed at that, at the very least), and the story seemed to be a good one. However, one thing killed this video:
There was little to no extra sound effects. There was also only one voice actor, likely the artist, who seemed strained and undynamic. Having a second voice actor might have improved this video. A lot. Using a cheap microphone and doing all your own voices, unless you are aspiring to be a professional voice actor and can do a wide array of vocal types, just isn't a good idea. It sounds amaturish, and comes off crappy.
Further, your dialogue is uninspired. You could have thought a little longer into how to make this funny...but you rushed it, and didn't let it become the gem it wanted to be.
So, lessons: get a new mic, get some friends (I know you have them - just get them in the same place), and get inspired on that script. Because this, compared to what you clearly can do, is a piece of flying crap.
ah, thanks for the constructive critism... i'll take it into account...
I like it, and by the way its not devoid of humor MonkeyX. Your problem is you probably have no sense of humor anyway, so shut the fuck and watch the animation or JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Oh....and VigorousJammer, keep up the good work and hope to see more of "Devoid of humor" animations.
heh, thanks... i'll try to make my submissions more Devoid of humor, lol... j/k...
anyways, you can check out my deviantart or my other newgrounds submissions for some more of my animations... devart link is in my profile
Wow...what can I say?
Stupid. Pointless. Devoid of any humor. Voice overs were horrible. And any kind of style was non-existant. I actually feel more stupid just by watching this. And what the fuck's up with bashing marines? They're doing shit you and I wouldn't do in a million years. It's pointless what their doing and they're dying in vain right now, but where's your fucking morals? Bitch.
well, by marine... I wasn't exactly focusing it in the direction of actual marines in combat... I was making it seem more like thoose marines that you always see in zombie movies or zombie games like resident evil... as for your other comments... well, different strokes for different folks...
Enjoy your freedom, asshole
My brother is a marine fighting for it over in Iraq
you obivously have no sense of humor... by marine, I meant "thoose guys that you always see in zombie movies dressed in armor who die who are usually called marines" not real marines...
Don't piss off Marines
Seriously I'd come through my computer and choke you, but I know your impression is wrong, so I'll leave you to wallow in your own ignorance. (Guess what I used to do) Your animation was pretty smooth and other than pissing me off with your "punch line" it was good. Work on your ideas and you'll be up there in no time.
A short film about a park bench
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