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Credits & Info

Jul 31, 2001 | 11:08 PM EDT
  • Daily Feature August 2, 2001

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Author Comments

In the NES game parody of ours, Simon is back in town after killing Dracula in Castlevania 2... but now he finds that the priest won't even restore his health! It's quite obvious that this shit-talkin' priest needs to be taught a lesson or two!

Controls are:
Z = Jump
X = Whip
Click or Spacebar = Start

(if you have problems controlling the character, just click on the game and the problem will resolve itself

And don't forget to return to town after you beat the game, because there's a "Secret Button" on your keyboard that you'll DEFINITELY want to push while you're in town! >:) You WILL need to CLOSE THE WINDOW and re-open the game to return to town just so you know. And you DON'T have to beat the game to access the secret item, but isn't it more fun to save it for last? And it doesn't tell you what the secret button is, you gotta figure out that for yourself! ;)

Enjoy the blasphemy of Priest Battle!
If you want to play it without the newgrounds pop-up ads or download it, you can get it at:



Rated 2 / 5 stars


it was good but were u supposed to face esus within 2 minutess of starting cause that's what happened to me


Rated 1 / 5 stars


come on man, there is a limit to everything... and u passed that limit with religion...


Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Pretty good

Good game. Entertaining. And to all of the people who said it was blasphemous, how can you know what god wants? If you know god so well then maybe you can introduce us sometime.


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I loved it

Okay good points. Well. I'm satanist so I really enjoyed killing that SOB jesus and the damn ungrateful preist.

Bad points. Graphics weren't that good. AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE DAMN SECRET BUTTON IS.


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars


Well it took me about 6 tries, but I finally killed Jesus! The secret to victory is simple really, you just jump to the side that had the bombs placed first as soon as they both blow. You then wait for the second volley and repeat the process. That is you jump from the left platform to the right, waiting for the bombs on the left to blow, and as soon as they do you jump back, and vice versa. After he does 2 volleys of bombs you wait on the left platform and whip him good, and if you do it right, you can inflict 3 health levels of damaged every round. This method will take you 3-4 rounds depending on your timing and luck. There is also a second way to avoid the bombs but this is much harder, but effective, making you only jump over the gap once per set. You do the same as the last method, jumping from the left platform to the right, waiting for the bombs that land on the left to blow, and then jump to that side. You then move to the very last block on the left side, and you will be safe to wait it out for Jesus to do a dive at you and allowing you to whip him. I do have to warn you, when using the second method, after whipping Jesus, you need to move a little to your left to give yourself time to jump to the right platform to repeat the whole process over again. Also, if done improperly, you will die from the bomb blast because it will send you into the water, keep that in mind. Oh yes, and lest I forget, you need to make sure you jump as soon as the bomb blows, or else the bomb you will be standing next to will detonate, tossing you to the watery death below.

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