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Uploaded
Jul 31, 2001 | 11:08 PM EDT
  • Daily Feature August 2, 2001

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Author Comments

In the NES game parody of ours, Simon is back in town after killing Dracula in Castlevania 2... but now he finds that the priest won't even restore his health! It's quite obvious that this shit-talkin' priest needs to be taught a lesson or two!

Controls are:
Z = Jump
X = Whip
Click or Spacebar = Start

(if you have problems controlling the character, just click on the game and the problem will resolve itself

And don't forget to return to town after you beat the game, because there's a "Secret Button" on your keyboard that you'll DEFINITELY want to push while you're in town! >:) You WILL need to CLOSE THE WINDOW and re-open the game to return to town just so you know. And you DON'T have to beat the game to access the secret item, but isn't it more fun to save it for last? And it doesn't tell you what the secret button is, you gotta figure out that for yourself! ;)

Enjoy the blasphemy of Priest Battle!
If you want to play it without the newgrounds pop-up ads or download it, you can get it at:
http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Castlevania

Reviews


SwollenassneaksSwollenassneaks

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Is it possible to kill Jesus?

Pros: Its a lot of fun to play and the concept of killing Jesus is funny.

Cons: The controls are bad enough that I can't stop myself from running into the water in the battle with Jesus.

Overall: Good


Mockery responds:

Jesus is much harder to kill than the Priest, and we wanted it that way. (the guy has been nailed to a cross for a long time, he's GOT to be tough by now, right?) But it's VERY possible to kill him. A lot of people have killed him on the first try believe it or not! (which is pretty amazing, I sure as hell didn't kill him that easily, and I helped make the game!)

The way to beat Jesus is to watch for the pattern in which he moves. When he swoops down he's vulnerable. If you get too close to the edge, yes you'll fall in the water. So tap the opposite direction real quick and you won't fall in.

Thanks again for the comments, it's so good to see everyone is really enjoying this game we worked so hard on. Good luck on defeating Jesus!


JeremyLokkenJeremyLokken

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Entertaining

Awesome game. I liked the levitating Jesus. Classic!



mr-spatulamr-spatula

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Perfection...

This is the newgrounds experience that I remember... Intelligent and well designed flash with a sick sense of humor. It's the entries like this that originally made NG was it was!

Philosopical, yet sacreligious - made me laugh out loud several times.... The only thing was that the control could have been tweaked a BIT, but that is such a minor complaint compared to how great this truly is.

I esp. love the closing line. Wonderful.


People find this review helpful!

lnspectahDecklnspectahDeck

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Too easy

well it was good but i avoided the fight by right clicking.


Mockery responds:

haha, well it couldn't have been "too easy" if you had to cheat and avoid fighting the almighty bastard, Jesus! hahaha!


PoopMuffinPoopMuffin

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Incredible, indistinguishable from the original!

I had just been playing the actual NES rom of this a week ago, and this looks JUST LIKE IT. The sounds and everything are very authentic, and I loved it. But I thought it was kind of boring, and the priest's best line shouldn't have been ripped straight from Vampire Slayer (a mod for Half-Life that used to be totally kick ass, until the latest release). But others I'm sure will enjoy it. And I beat the thing, but didn't find anything about a secret key. Help...? Oh well, I'll just try them all.