Score: 10
"We are blessed to have you"
date: August 30, 2008
An amazing message is thrown underneath all of this, but I think it really only reaches out to those who've experienced it. In the animation, you touch on the fact that your brother wasn't the same after the accident. He was disfigured, and in ways that disfigured his mentality. Although good traits might have endured, something was altered, right?
In that reflection echoes the greater human message. It's not just the things that happen to us as individuals that change us, it's also the things that happen to our peers and loved ones. When you were hit by your father, your brother stuck by you and did what he could to be the positive male presence in your life. That is love at it's core. Had you never been hit, he might not have felt a strong need to be at your side and help you. Nevertheless, it's a testament to the character he must have had that he could be such a strong brother for you. Seeing abuse can be as tough as dealing with it directly.
All the same, you have been changed too. In bearing witness to the loving nature of your brother, he has built within you the ability to share that very same love with others. Even if it's just in an animation, this is an example. It goes to show that we as humans have a profound ability to change each other through simple yet meaningful actions.
However, when your brother was disfigured, his attitude must have changed too. Not many people are sure why it is that we respond so strongly to change, but it can be difficult to deal with. You haven't touched on his death in this animation (I didn't even watch the three other parts yet), but his death changed you too. You mention he ran away some years later. Those "some" years were no doubt difficult because you must have seen these change slowly take place.
I connect to this animation because of my own personal loss. My dad, who was very similar in nature to your brother, died of cancer some three years ago, and ever since I've looked to find a way to connect with someone who shares a similar pain. Recently, I came across something that seemed remarkably obvious after hearing it, but was tough to figure out until then.
A man once wrote a book about the five stages of grief. They're pretty simple, and he's an authority on the issue. He was quoted once saying, "The most painful form of grief is remembering the future". In this animation of yours, you show that pain in two separate portions of your life. Early in life, you can see it when he is changed by his fall. His disfiguration likely changed what he did in life. When he looked back on what he expected from his life, he probably felt a large amount of grief. In ways, he was remembering what the future was supposed to be for him. The things he took for eventual fact were little more than memory.
And that carries on to yourself as well. Remembering what you expected for his future carries the weight of accepting it's impossibility today. It takes a special kind of person to carry on after remembering the future and what it was supposed to hold. Redefining who you are after a traumatic experience is difficult. I don't even think today I'm prepared to admit I'm ready to move forward entirely. But even when you're stuck remembering the future, there's always time to thank your brother for the influence he had when you had him. Nothing can ever take that away.
This was very moving. Thank you.
Eric
