Ultimate Gear War
Join the alien war, prepare your gear and protect your base at all cost!
4.13 / 5.00 17,439 ViewsHere is its eulogy, a collection of the kind words written about it while still among the living. They shall live on forever in its place.
09-26-04 – 10-27-11This is a project which I have been meaning to get out of the way for some time. Anyways, it is a dating sim, where you have to perform tasks to get the lesbians to strip for you, and hopefully have sex with them. This is more than just your average Sim Date, there are complex questions to answer, in order to get the prize ;)
HAHAHA I can't believe you idiots let this pass judgement.
Fun Facts
Time taken: 3 weeks
Frame rate: 24 fps
omg
That game was so hot, I got a boner when the woman said bring me 100 credits and I'll show you a good time. This deserves to be on front page and if it isn't Tom is a big silly.
hahah.
now, thats just sick, but it was a good parody of one really good game that came out a couple of days ago, lol.
im sure you had many people fooled with this, and i wasnt too impressed when i saw those pictures, haha.
also, the ending was a crack up, because im sure many many people would have been rejoicing for just one moment, and then you laughed in their face, lol.
so i got a chuckle out of it because of the concept, but the overall game was just shoddy.
overall score: 5/10
(THE THUMB: sideways)
Dude that was fucking hillarious
Its funny how shit you made it.
POS, but decent Moral...
Haha, good job pulling a fast one on all those crazy sickos!
Funny.
It is a great parody of those "sex kitten sim dates". I laughed. Good job!
P.s. This will probably have a low score due to all those hentai geeks expecting some porn. Too bad, tho.
that was pretty shit
all over the place, needs to slow down, add some names and shit.
Really good joke.
Thanks, CommunistLock, for doing this awesome (but short :() game. It was a lesson to who loves too much Hentai. Hope you will do another parodies like that.
Keep up your good work.
Ah u have your revenge on all the porn nerds
that game was pretty well made even if all that was there were naked women and a 3 second clip of porn turning in2 a flashing insult, nice job.
ps. get a penis...
O noes! I dun get no lesbians!!!!1
Seriously though, that was funny. All those poor 13 year olds looking for a "good time" or whatever. =P
Plus it plays the Tricky music (the sailor music or whatever you want to call it) on the "Faggot scene" if you right-click and play on it.
Haha
Man this is one of the funniest submissions I've seen in a while! That "smooth criminal" song alone was worth the price of admission! Haha "poorly cropped woman" lmao! Classic :D
Oh and I see you released it under your other account to protect your batting average. Smart move, that's what I do :P
Keep 'em coming Commie! And to all the other perverted asshats...you've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal :D
Oh my god
Haha, thats was fun...
I guess you got your revenge on all those porn dogs (like myself)....
and you should warn people with epilepsy about that last part....
OMFG SO HAWT!!!!
*goes watches movie*
u suack!
seriously, I agree with your standpoint. but I also think you should warn someone about the end. you know. with the seizures. but I seriously say, you got the whole thing down, with the arrows, then doing stuff for stuff, wtc. Clap!
Hoo hah!
lol
This is a pretty funny game. I bet a lot of people were upset. Keep up the good work!:) Also, tell me where you got that cool song in the end.
gross but funny
a good ( even if a little unsettling) game.
Ok.....i don't like fat chick porn.....so this is
not for me, it a little bit funny, but its also nasty
its ok
I liked that end song when you finsih this short flash ~~ who sings it ?
lol
looking for porn you damn psychos???!!!! look again! hilarious!
woah man....
change the ending...(i'm photosensitive) and also y even put this on the web to humilate your self...?
cheese....
well it was a bit fun cuz everyone is like "omfg pron!!!" and they get a boner while loading.
then they die of a heart attack..
Wow, just wow
This is one godly dating sim. Never in my life have I experenced such sexyness.
Voted 6 for the children.
Quite funny, but not my thing
It was alrite, reminded me of this crap game i had on my fone, dope wars.. the title is an obvious way to get people to view it. I dont think this sort of thing shud be on the flash portal though.
Haha! Nice parody!
This is great. I'm sick of all those lame dating sims. Good job man.
\m/
Hehe.
It's funny but it's incredibly gross...
AWESOME MUSIC THOUGH. lol mj rules
not worth it
i think that the real version should not have been ripped off, because you did a poor job. i disliked playing this, because it just wasnt right at all.
the start seemed good, but, it just got worse from there.
AHAHAHAHA!
That was awesome Commie! I only gave it a 5 cause I laughedat it. Plus the music was good. Don't do it again tho.
HOT HOT STUFF!!!
OMG EVERYONE CHECK THIS OUT!
CRAZIEST PORN I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!
I didn't like the game
but at the end when it says "gotcha faggot" that song could you tell me the name of it and who did it?
HAhahahah! Good one!
What were you exactly trying to do? Showing 13 years old that dating sims in flashes are lame and virtual? If yes, then it's a sucess. Too bad some of those horny users will just bash this flash because they like those poorly made games. Next thing they will do if play one of those crappy games just to get a boner.
Don't let us down! Make a serie hahaha!
YOU ROCK!!!
YES!! THIS WAS FUNNY AS HELL!!! GIVE THEM PERVS WHAT FOR!!!
Lol
Interesting Ending.. the music was the best part of it xD
Perfection!
Thank god someone made a flash like this, I'm bloody annoyed at all the hentai dating crap all over the front page and randomly spread out across NG, just to get horny 13 year olds attention. This site should have more movies like this, just to piss people off. The "Gotcha Faggot" was a nice touch. Great job.
BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
omg i was laughing my ass off thro that whole thing!
THAT WAS FOCKIN' FUNNY!
Instant Classic
CommunistLock, you are very extreme.
JONNY BROVO RULES (not as much as coke will tho)
it was funny dude
haha good one
this was funny. but to piss the porn crazy ppl off even more wud be to show some really hot naked chicks and then put censor bars over the good stuff and add some other ugly chicks in there, and really scar them for life lol
wow what a stupid piece of crap
dude, whats ur problem man, im serious y did u even do that its like a waste of your's everyones time and its not funny, i dont think
I wonder if the ending made this pass.
I find the fat lady's breasts and the brief sex scene at the end quite disturbing and offensive, even if it is meant to be a Sex Kitten parody. Then again, I really don't support hentai either.
But the j-pop from Outlaw Star or whatever makes me feel happy just having that part by itself. Best ending prank ever.
OMG YSE!!!
Pwn them n00bs! LOL read the scores. The low ones are horny bastards while the high ones get it... although we all did click on a title "Sexy Lesbian Dating Sim" hmm... did he get us all?
Oh wow..Dating sim...With lesbo's!
Nice attempt but no dice.
j00 put 2 much pr0n0 in it/..
and nt enuff hentia cos me and me foamee loving chumz luff to jac off too hentai so more hentia nex thyme ok?
KTHX
omg hawt parody
of teh secksy games!1
I need to put the words "dating sim" on my next movies to pass them!!1
Oh god yes!
Commies Super orgasmic lesbo sex date makes my pen0r all stiff and pointy!
LOL
Notice how everyone took it so seriously, as if you like fat pr0n :). Very witty my man. Very witty.
interesting
just hope no one gets a fucking seizure from the 'gotcha faggot' at the end lol. if u look at it long enough it looks really cool. but anyone with epilepsy will fucking DIE looking at that lol
Right click the flash and hit 'Play' and you can hear the blissful cacophony of several songs playing at the same time! Horay!
You just call me a, "faggot?"
I'm not the one playing Michael Jackson's music. He's so much a homo-pedophile, if he were to quit music, he'd have a good future as a Catholic Priest. So, before you make these kind of insults, keep this little fact in mind.
LOL!!!!!!!!
OMG that was hilarious random humor is the best!!!
*gives you a stern look*
The overall game I enjoyed because it made me laugh, but the end had an adverse effect on me, I suffer from epilepsy so, a warning would have been nice. Luckily for you, I'm a mild case, but in the future, a little forethought? Other than that, I found this amusing and I loved the song you played at the end.
You should get a life
Has any one else startin to notice that all of this guy's movies and games are horrible. TwoStar get a life. YOu waste ur time doin teh shittiest flashes known to mankind. You're pathetic. IF any one see this guy make another movie just dont watch it.
roffl
that was so funny,the fat chicks were a little weird though
kill...
i should really stop staring at the end of that movie... do you see the hidden people too?
*foaming at the mouth while wetting himself*
MUST............RESIST...........SEIZURE.....other than that it's alright.
Just goes to show...
...that some will vote for anything with sex in the title...
im confused
wow, i cant believe that people like you know how to use a computer.... you are truly stupid, youll find someday that your head will explode, you have a problem with gay people? and fat people? big women need loving too.
Alright, Hang On
No one had better call me gay for dissing this. Just because I think pornography is amoral doesn't mean I'm homosexual. In fact, I have a girlfriend. That said: If you want this kind of thing, fine. Just please, keep it off NG.
dont listen to those other instulting basards!
DUDE.....now....i lke those hentai/sim dating/sexkitten/franks adventure games..and im not at all pissed about this FUNNY AS HELL.....umm..."game"...make another....make a longer one...i would play it! or watch it...or..uh....click buttons...yea....:D
and all you stupid ppl who say this is a waste of time and shit like that...well....ppl....by taing the time to tell him how much this sucks is a waste...becuz i read the reviews and ya kno...i think he takes great joy in you immature fits of rage ab00t his crappy game thing.....i waz laughing at the reviews too...G00D J0B!!!!
i found a secret...
right-click then pressplay at the end and it plays happymusic...
eh..ive seen better and worse...
i think id like a diffent kind of music, and a little bit longer next time maybe. overall, its worth a look.
i LIKED THE MUSIC
Besides that, this game wasn't too great, but whatever the music was cool though.
GREAT MUSIC
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THT JAPANESE SONG AT THE END??! it rocked my socks... btw the game was a good little suprise for all those pervs out there. My freind decided to go on here and try to find porn and came across tis, and when i heard the kick ass japanese music i put this in my favorites!! I NEED TO KNOW THE NAME OF THAT SONG!!!
Hitler is turning in his grave as we type.
this is funny as hell!! it is a swift kick in the ass for all those 46 year old pervs that live in their mom's basement. i showed to my friend and he started gagging. he said, "Porn!" then Cough Cough Roll over and died.
Epilepcy
Put a feakin label on that for people with epilepcy!! that flashing screen can cause seizures!!
heh i agree with Cynderfan
heh thing that makes this funny is reading the reveiws of all the people going mad , if you want to watch porn go to a porn site idiots.
you cunt you sent my brother into a coma
i don't know how you could make something like this it is a threat to the epileptic you are god damn lucky i don't know where you are and that my brother remembers which flash it was that almost killed him!!!!!!!!
I can't believe you people expected lesbian porn
It was badly made, distasteful, a health hazard to epileptics...
....but it made me laugh, and serves all those dickwads looking for porn right. All the reviews saying "U SUKC ADN I HOPE U DIEE!!!" are from those who actually expected to see lesbian porn. On newgrounds.
What are you people? Retarded? This flash is made by a member of the SS! And what person would call their flash "Sexy Lesbian Dating Sim" anyway?
Twostar obviously made this to piss people off, and he's succeeded, all because of a handful of extremely gullible newgroundites.
Thanks for the laugh Twostar.
Lol
I don't know how this survived but this was truly awful. BTW!!!! If you have epilepcy THEN DON'T SEE THIS. IT CONTAINS BRIGHT FLASHES OF LIGHT.
hoyl shiyt
mayun this is a good movie the effects are so realistic.
wat the fuke lolz i made that word up lolz
wat the fuke lolz i made that word up so i wouldnt be swearin but for all of u smart people who reads the reviews befor they watch the wuteva it is or play it dont freakin play there just fat idiots in ther and they call u a faggot even though i dont no wat that is! dont review a new 1 leave me review as a warnin on freakos......
Sick and Tired
Of assholes making crap like this. If you're going to spoof something, you could at least do a good job of it. I don't understand why people even vote high on crap like this. "oh, ha-ha, look, you made me feel dumb".
:P
What's REALLY funny is how proud you're trying to be, thinking you fooled people into something, when you spent 3 weeks working on this piece of crap. Weither it was 10 seconds a day, during a 3 week duration, means you're a moron yourself. ^.^;
check out the review from teh_man
oh my god what te fuck bar b q
May you burn in hell...
...for all the high hopes I had for this movie, you just shot them down, and it wasn't even that funny. Make a good entry next time, you sick freak.
OMG GREAT STUFF
You gotta watch this. It was soooo hot. You pervs will LOVE THIS.
WOW!!!!
I haven't seen lesbian sex scenes more hardcore on newgrounds EVER....THAT was some wildshit man...keep it up
Do not watch this, Siezure warning!
someone should bane you from this site, i think this is the second time you've made a flash that can give people siezures and your not posting any warnings, and even if its your first you don't make crap like that. NG should review some flashes first before letting people post dumb shit like this and should not let idiots like you be able to post stuff that'll give people siezures...
OMFG THE PORN
OMFG THE PORN IN THIS GAME WAS SOOO HOT WHERE DID YOU FIND IT?!?
bane!!!!!!
dude you could siriously give people seizures like this!
Can you say Epilepsy?
Can you say Epilepsy? I bet you caaaan. Dude, after that, I wouldn't be surprised if I had Epilepsy. And note, it is not funny, and whoever wastes their time creating something like that has got to be one bored guy or gal.
i give you ten sound because...
the music when it says gotcha faggot is cool
what were you thinking?
seriously man this is bad, try to put some more thought, and effort into it if you ever plan to do this again. for all our sakes
Hmm
Well, rather predictable. I really hope you get sued by an Epileptic person. This flash could kill someone, you know, if they were epileptic.
ok................
lol the ending was the best part "fooled you faggot"! good job!
pointless waste of time
There was really no point to this flash, there was absolutly no interactivity, this game onli takes 30 secs to play and then ending was just annoying.
not bad
Ignore him he is just mad cause he probally couldn't get it up while he was trying to jack off...very funny game....later
OMG
it scared me i poped in and a giant fat chick its going to give me night mares for the rest of my life i just go around and beat sim dates ive beat 99.9% of them alot of the cat ones the oreganal shot off of the sim dates but this one would scare the hell out of you its funny as hell that you busted some kids on here but the ending is kinda hard but if you want to fix it just stick some giant fat chick on thear and whatch the assholes cuss you out lol
im giveing it a good score the grafics didnt like style oreganal busting perverted fuckers on the net sound had micel jackson on it no like him violence can use those pics for fucking nuculer war fare interactivity you get to click shit lol humer the perverted childern cussing you out so basily you got a dam good score
JAJAJAJAJA FAGGOT SON OF A BITCH
JAJAJAJAJAJA men tat was funny.
cya bitch
lol
i cant belive i looked at a naked fat chick!
ewwww! must go rince eyes wit holy water!!!!
funny joke tho!!
*insert 5-hour laughing message*
Oh, dear god, that was great. People like you are the best and the most hilarious of them all
(Sound is 10 'cause of the song.)
rotfl
My spleen hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahah that made my brother screamed when the decapitated fat lady was on the screen
No no
Did not like. There was no reason why anyone should like that..sorry. Too much grossness and not enough playing and stuff.
please stop
your game was not fun it was to short and easy plus retarded
omfg!!
my eyes!!!! my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant see!!!!!!!!! curse u for making this stupid thing!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!hfuioasjr[atkrlfnsdl2333334334313
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( WHAT THE HELL
very interesting, and also just a little gay? but really wtf is up the the cartoon dude with the big hair? I must say your worse than those damn joker's the kitty krew, I man at least they use things that are made by them and don't represent something little kids watch, really kitty krew just uses cat animations to make it look like they hump each other but using a cartoon character? Thats just perverted, and shouldn't be done, imagine some kid watches this cause of the cartoon character? some 5 year old, he might scream in pain.
horible
just plain dumb 2 use a cartoon carcter like that i mean come on
grrrrr!
why can't men ever make one for the girls!!! Plz do! I'm sick and tired of sim dates for guys, I love sim dates, but for once, can we have one for the girls?
Just testing this game.
It's very gay. It's really nothing people!
It'll say, GOTCHA FAGGOT!!
So yeah.. play it if you are bored, but its not really lesbian.
I'm going to check other games ^_______^
i scoff at u
SCOFF, SCOOOFF becuse of all that and U...U DARE CALL ME A FAGGOT
I SCOFF AT U
hmph
well its not that bad. Is it ?, anyways LOL
WTF?
i don't even know what to say..
what the hell happened?
What the hell?
This is the greatest and most badly animated piece of sh*t ive ever seen.
This sucked
I'm blind now, thanks. Fuck off. You should just go to hell.
that..wow
hat does really suck cant beleive that took u 3 weeks.....
omg
if u go past the part with the fat chick a girls suckin dick
Uh, lol
I don't know why, but I actually find these kind of things pretty funny. HAHAHA NOT.
0/10 0/5
......................
ok... regular simdates are normally fun... but things like this arent very fun at all... dont get me wrong... it was "fun" in all... but not verry right.... i mean my poor little sister (6 years old) had to see naked women on the computer... not verry nice.... and let me tell you... ur going to get alot more good reviews makeing a regular sim date that has all the things that you included... take the revu sim date... the ending was really really bad... but the reviews were great!!! i think it was thebest i ever played on the internet... U.U
Well, aren't you the nice guy...
Trying to give us seizures with those bright flashing lights. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, hasn't your mother ever told you that's bad.
IF YOU'RE PRONE TO SEIZURES DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME. Also, this game sucks.
theres no point in me watching it
if theres that many zeros theres no point in watching it
this was not hentai it was BULLSHIT
it was a piece of shit. u need BETTER material
me either
you have no idea what hentai is do you?
oh yea and i hear that false advertising is illegal
WEIRD!!!
HAHA!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUSE!!!!......i loved the ending......and im not a fag im BI!!!.....yea......so that was funny but plz u can do better than that....oh and i cant read super fast so slow it down a bit.
AH HOLY CRAP
SEIZURE
SEIZURRREEEEEE
Jesus man!
Way to kill my eyes with horribleness at the end there!
how'd you know? -XD
not completely, but yeah. Bisexual here! lolz
damn!!!
youre better off pouring acid on youre eyes than watch this crap but good joke
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!
do you not know anything about HENTAI!!!???? THAT WAS SSOOOOOO NOT FUNNY! try adding hot, sexy girls!
wtf?!!!
Dood, u r wieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrdddddd !!!!!
lol i new it!
i new you won't show that lezbo crap on here! i give you a great rate 10/10 and 5/5!
i dont get joke
dude looks lke your wanted to joke for the sex part lol dumbass
Don't understand
What's the point of putting something who doesn't have any sense?
ZZzz...
Is that a woman sucking the man .... ?? what;s the point ??? of this movie?
no....
i didnt like whats the point.....fat chiks......girls sucking guys.....whats so lesbian??? didnt like it im sorry
keep the word or loose views
OMFG!!!
It was not funny when GOTCHA FAGGOT popped up all flashy that is not good for my eyes
OK WTF!!!!!!!!!!
THAT WAS A GOOD PORN SCENCE WHEN IT WAS THERE BUT THE GOTCHA FAGOT HAS MADE ME BLIND MY EYES R SEING COLORS O.o
Epilepsy
You do know that if someone actually had a seizure from this, you could get sued, right?
needs a lot of work
the "Gotcha Faggot" is blinding, offensive, and will most likely induce seizures.
i think more than this "game" needs to be worked on
:D Fantastic!
I played it,knowing that it was a trick...and,,,,I.....LOVED IT! Tricks like these rules.
Wtf...
You need get rid these... stupid trick things... >=/
..................
THe wosrt game i have seen on newgrounds.........yet
have u ever
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE DISORDER CALLED EPILEPSY
???
i give u a one for the slow song thats first on the gotcha faggot part. What is the song?
whoa...... @__@
i was trippin balls
im surprised i didnt have an epileptic seisure
That sucked
Well, I gave you a 3 for that song. You know, where it said "GOTCHA FAGGOT!". Seriously, I'd be laughing if some of the 100,000 viewers or so actually had some seizures because of this crap...Well, not really (but you get the idea). Btw, what's the name of the song? Whatever, i'll get the title from the past reviews.
Horrible...
Waste of my time.Why would you even make a game like this?Some people might actually like it if you didnt just stop it after you give that chick some Viagra.and when the thing came up that said gotcha fagget came up it gave me a headache.Waste of my time and i got a headache -_-
omg
what a frekin awesome troll. i was not gonna play it till i read the reviews oh man that was good.lolspammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm
I got 2 seazures from the last 2 flashes!
Stop posting flashy crap!
wtf
I am seriusly sick of this shit. I mean half the time you click for hentai and you get this kind of bullshit.and you got your wang out and then this happens and then its well there it went there gose that mood
uhmmm...
i am suppose to play this game but i read the comments and just.....
you know what i mean...
nawalan ako ng gana dahil dun sa mga komento nyo...gets!!!
WHY THE FUCK
why are you calling me a fagget nothing bad
Really?
are you really that desperate for attention that you need to put this out there? come on man actually put something out for people to enjoy, not a joke thats only funny for you
Seriously?
%u304A%u3044%u3001%u672C%u7269%u306E%
u30A2%u30CB%u30E1%u30FC%u30B7%u30E7%u 30F3%u3092%u4F5C%u308B %uFF01 %u9045%u3089%u305B%u308B%u304A%u304B%
u3057%u304F%u306A%u308A!!!!!!!!!
fuck you
your the fag ya dumbass i'll sue for giving me a seizure
F-YOU
YOU STUPID FUCKER YOU GAVE ME A SEIZURE AND I ENDDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL!!! I AM GOING TO FIND YOU!!!!
im not dumb
i was completely prepared and u are a D-IC-K
LOL
i just laughed, this is so pathetic, its hilarious.
NO STARS FOR YOU!
Soulless idiot!!!!
YOU COULD'VE GIVEN SOMEBODY A SEIZURE! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED FOR THIS!
....
Knowing you worked 3 weeks on this shows.... alot.
Sonofabitch
Dammmit almost gave me a seizure sonofabitch !!!! But it was funny, cuz it's dumb azz hell!
Dickhead
Ur gaem sucks.
As a tip, slightly less hideous fatties mighta been funny
Ha...
No warning against the flashing lights makes this a health hazard, you cannot simply say its on the internet, nor can you lay claim to this being on newgrounds and newgrounds having your back on this. You're liable in case someone dies or even remotely gets sick. Usually I don't wish illness on anyone or anything, but I'm hoping and praying someone dies from your stupidity. Time taken 3 weeks? You're even less intelligent than I originally thought. I'd have called you stupid for taking longer than 3 hours to do this. And you have the gall to call this project. /end rant/ Overall, this is shit, and its as stupid as it's creator. Good day. Oh yeah, constructive criticism..stop making games. As for my comment being mean, offensive or generally not helpful. It's all of that. But if my account is banned hopefully the admins will look your game over and take note that it could be lethal and take it down(along with your account) as well as mine. Again I say, good day.