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I was determined to finish it- mostly because know that most people wouldn't. I know most people don't finish my quiz.
(DS Dragon Quiz)
Thank god you eventually put in a checkpoint!
I think the flames at that point should really fill the page if it is supposed to kill you.
It was certainly challenging and I know it must have taken a lot of work. Most hostile reviews you get will come from people who didn't finish it!
If you really wanted to be sad/crazy you could create a page or six of picture & sound credits. I know some people would be curious ot know what things are.
Make a sequel with more different skills required

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Score: 4

"Not enough game-like elements..."

by: smokinjoeevil

date: September 9, 2006

It lacked any real story for one. A choose your own adventure usually involves a story being played out... all you had were different graphics posted to the screen dependent on the clicks the user made. It also seemed not only a bit cheesy, as other have stated, but also like it was just a big joke. Some of the graphics made it seem like you were trying to get a laugh out of players, when you originally stated that it was supposed to be horror, and all other indicators in the game seemed as though you were going for that feel. Also, the way you had to start over every time you "died" was annoying. No one likes a game where you have to die 20 times before you finally memorize the safe path through the game. It takes no skill, only memorization, and makes the game redundant and boring for the 90% you've already played up until the decision that killed you last time. And then, when you die again, that same decision you were looking forward to making is now part of the boring 90%.

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Score: 6

"May I suggest...?"

by: Darmoth85

date: September 9, 2006

Okay, I like horror games. This one deffinately has potential but I think you can do better.

Remember that the player, unless they're very young, will be put off by the cheesy screams and blood in every scene. As a story teller you need to know that the scariest things to the player will come from their own mind.

The visuals and constant screams made it feel more like a cheap Halloween "haunted house." To conjure fear in the player you must make them think. What you don't see can be a lot scarrier than what you do. It draws the player away to imagine the worst possible scenerio or what they're afraid of most.

You need more of a build up before the horror strikes, then an earily calm pause like the eye of the hurricane and then, BAM! Right when the player has started to calm or relax hit them again. Again sound is key, as well as your text message to describe in more detail what they player character is sensing such as sight and sound as well as smell. The more detail you put in the more clearly you can envoke what you want in the player's mind.

Still a fun piece, but like I said I think you've the talent to one-up yourself. :)