Score: 5
"Just seems average..."
date: August 8, 2005
While objectively well made, this packs little beyond exploding children, a Minibosses soundtrack, and possible greatness installed for the future. This "pilot" would not sell too well to actual network executives, since it leaves a miserable first impression.
One problem is voice-overs. They aren't wooden, but technical issues immediately surface: poor mixing and quality. Adjust the clips to 24 kbps for voices and 48 kpbs for the music. In the background, use a single, muted, streamed audio loop to maintain animation speed. Streamed sounds are muffled, but force the animation to keep pace with what's happening.
Another problem lies in the script. Randomness does not equal funny without some hand-waving (quick explanation to move the script forward). Many jokes (except the Duck Hunt Dog) land gracelessly upon the pavement and grind your faces against it for fifty feet or more. And the material is uninspired; these jokes work with precise timing, but otherwise, it did not make me laugh.
Also, if it's not uninspiring, it's hackneyed. You're lucky the NG drones still buy into irony and cynicism, which dominate the site's philosophy on comedy. This flash continues that trend and follows the motions by the numbers.
And a personal gripe: you didn't introduce all the main characters, a cardinal sin for series pilots. Once again, I detect irony and cynicism. This young woman in the cast intro never made an appearance. Whether it is a failure to notify and recruit a female voice actress before production, or you deliberately tease the audience into false expectations of what's to come... you fail on both counts.
If this sounds harsh, it is. I'm tired of flash shows that parade sardonic twenty-something white males as if being a smart-ass wins you the lottery. Still, I would be infinitely impressed (and relieved) if you set out to utterly prove me wrong in the future. I don't wish for you guys to give up before trying.
2 out of 5 for decent effort.
Author's Response:
your comments are duely noted, and while ive said this accouple times. this is more of an animated comic strip than a cartoon. and hopefully in time will cement itself as and original series. not introducing all the characters was decided do to the fact that there was no real place to fit every person in. and rather than just introduce a person for the sake of there in the intro credits, i felt would of been to forced. i thank you for the info on fixin the sound. cuz as much as i tryed nothing worked so thanx for your comments.