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NG HATEMAIL: Club a Seal

Back in the late 90s, I got tons of zany e-mail regarding Club a Seal, so I put this page together as an sampling. My responses follow in italics. Keep in mind, I was in my late teens when I wrote this.

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Subject: club a seal?

You are a SICK BASTARD..the word sick doesn't even cover what you are.. Your the one that should be clubbed/killed!

Your probably laughing at this, that is how fucked up you are.don't excuse my language!!!!

I hope some person can drop you some computer fuck your game up..

Karma will come back on hopefully someone will club you with a baseball bat and that lots of 'ketchup'as you put it oozes out of your sick perverted brain.....(Sorry you have no brain) ASSHOLE

Dropping a virus on my computer won't affect what's already on the server, dork.

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From: SHAZIB (
Subject: club-a-seal

I was recommended to visit your site by a collegue, whom I now have grave doubts about metally.

What possessed you to develop this concept? What made you such a sad perverted sicko? You really need help, and the sooner the better.

I used to be all for freedom of speech on the Internet, so much so that I have been writing academic papers on the I am not so sure!!

Please seek some help before you hurt someone or yourself!!

If you think the idea is so sick then you shouldn't have come here in the first place. What did you think you would find here?!

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Subject: Clubbing seals

U sick jerk. Do you really think clubbing seals is fun. Lets see you do it in real life. You probably wouldnt be so smart then would you. Obviuosy (sp?) you have no respect for life. Its people like you who are making this world a bad place.

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From: Kari Gilman (
Subject: comments on your club a seal page.

I'm not an animal activist or anything but you are one sick puppy and you need to seek help quickly. That little club a seal page is very sick. I agree, I am a seal saver and you have to be really sick to think of something like this. Where do you get off putting something like this on the net where anyone can get a hold of it. This is a great image we are giving our younger generation. And if you are the younger generation, do your parents know you are putting stuff like this on the net? Do you actually think that you could go out and club a seal to death without any second thoughts? If you can your sicker than I thought!

How many seals have you saved?

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From: B Sulley (
Subject: Seal Clubbing

I truly enjoyed this lovely little page. I was somewhat dismayed however, at your somewhat uninformed views on the actual practice of "swiling" (seal-clubbing). I'm a Canadian, a Newfoudlander in fact, who has seen a traditional way of life destroyed by ignorant animal rights activists. The use of a club to kill seals results in instantaneous death, and is the most humane way to kill them (if you think a gun is better, you're sicker than I thought). I can guarantee the cow that died to bring meat to the table suffered far more than any seal. The best are the pictures of seals being "skinned alive." If the seal was alive, it would bite your hand clean off - they're not harmless little animals that people think (they are carnivores remember).

Anyways, I just wanted to try to enlighten you regarding the practice of killing seals, and compliment you site once more.

Please don't take any offense from what I've said. I just hope you've learned something.


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From: Maranatha Academy (
Subject: club a seal

you're site rules! dont let animal wackos stop you!

have you ever considered clubbing ostriches, it's just as fun!

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From: Student (
Subject: seal clubbing

I feel that you are a very sick young man. YOU really need help and I feel that your page should be taken off of the internet, Its people like you that put disgusting things on the internet.

Something about that statement just sounds comical…

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From: "Bill (Stereo)" (
Subject: Seal lover

This is one of the funniest sites on the net! Any one who doesn't think so should have a seal shoved up their ass so we could club them.

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Subject: seal page

Your mother must be a whore. Bad childhood huh? With a page like this somebody (like a big bad black man named "Tiny") oughta fuck you up the ass in the pen to set you straight. Later shithead.

Is this some sort of offer? You don't happen to be a big black guy named "Tiny", are ya?

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From: "Ken Jones" (
Subject: Seal Page

Tom , I'm from Newfoundland.....Proud home of the seal hunt......And I just want to say that your page brought a sentimental tear to my eye.I hereby bestow on you the title of Honourary Newfoundlander.All jokes aside , got a great charge out of the page and have sent a link to all my friends.Also wondering if you received any response from other Newfoundlanders

Ken "Clubber" Jones

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From: Countryc20 (
Subject: smile you suck

you make me puke

That's funny, eggs do the same thing to me…

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From: Kristine Schroeder (
Subject: club a seal is an absolutely abhorent waste of internet bandwidth

I have a pretty good sense of humor, but I simply cannot understand how you can make fun of such a tragedy. And what do you mean by "those 'poor seals' would do it to you if they could"? I'm sorry, have seals become ferocious lately? Why don't you and your NRA pals go club each other to death...the world would be a better place!

This person has obviously never fought with a seal in hand-to-hand combat.

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From: Jim Kazanecki (
Subject: Club a seal Game

You Suck and so does your Game. Let's give a seal a club and let him beat you to a bloody pulp!

P'shaw! I'd like to see him do that without opposable thumbs!

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From: Bob Hart (
Subject: CLUB A SEAL




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From: Pets4u (
Subject: club a seal

It's only ketchup !!!!

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From: Eileen Shannahan (pshannah@luna.cas.usf Tomu)
Subject: club a seal

I must admit I was a bit distressed when I first came across your site. However, I do recognize the place of misleading advertising when attempting to enlighten certain people who might not respond otherwise. I think your site shows the absurdity of seal clubbers' mentalities. It's scary to think they have the right to vote and run for elected office. Come to think of it, that scary thought can be applied to many defenders of uncivil, inhumane, and ignorant "traditions." I thought the whole point of exalting the superiority of human evolution was that we were somehow better endowed to recognize pain, fear, fairness, etc. and respond in a manner superceding instinct: thoughtfulness. Thanks for going out on that unpopular limb and drawing in the more base members of our global community.

I am truly a humanitarian.

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From: myke (
Subject: Club a seal

Hey man, all I have to say is, "Wow, what a site!"If people don't like what they see on your site, they should avert their eyes and step back because the blood is gonna fly. Human nature is violence. We need violence to survive. How do you get that hamburger on your grill? If you can't handle that, you're weak.

Anyway it's not us lashing out at the seals(maybe it is), but it's us lashing out at the screwed up system that will protect a few baby seals but not protect a batered wife. So get off your high horse and club a seal for those who need protection.

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From: John Murphy (jmurph10@wvu Tomu)
Subject: Baby seal homepage

Sir, I recently visited your baby seal homepage, and was absolutely _disgusted_ at what I saw. What a crappy air-brush job! You call that blood? My four-year old cousin does better. Honestly, if you want me to think that I'm clubbing a seal, have a better color to it. Maybe a little shattered skull. Perhaps some flying grey matter. For that matter, this is the 90's, the age of the Stun Gun.

I hope I have given you a little to think about while perusing this sick little page of yours. Cheers!


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From: Ali mae 2 (
Subject: "club a seal"

THIS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE ******* LIFE! I hope you realize that you are corrupting innocent young minds and for that you will pay you dumb, sick, horrid, evil person!