These aren't your little kid's bed time stories! If they are, seek help!
Welcome to the city of Thamesis, capital to a kingdom divided....
You're an alien assassin with some work to do!
The automated Portal didn't launch until 2000 and sadly, only one entry from the original Portal ever made the transition. Maybe others will turn up some day.
Have a butt-pumping Christmas in this special FDA from the Christmas of 1999!