"I didn't kill myself, but I am in pretty hard times right now."
"You can probably imagine how it feels to have nothing your personality desires, not drugs or love. I have no real sexual orientation."
"How the fuck did I become some sort of hippie and not a normal person like the rest of the people in this age?:
"I just kinda wanted to not let the government know about it."
"I'm leading to the point that I can't live a normal life cause I'm different and everyone around me is so different from me."
"then failing cause of my parents and mostly, the government."
Jesus dude, every melodramatic line you type is gold. The government causing you to fail, your 'personality being denied', your hard times. fuck, you sound like a degrassi episode. wake the fuck up and put the shit you're talking about into perspective, you're not the only person ever in the world to feel like you don't belong, don't worry so goddamn much about fitting in.