I have a life, just not a very fulfilling one. I have problems with depression and some other medical things (That I have professional help with + Meds) and it makes me think differently than all the other kids and sets me apart. I find it hard to make friends because I feel like I only make things worse for myself by trying and I'm afraid of rejection since my best and only friend I could tell anything to decided I wasn't good enough for him and used everything that he knew about me against me last year. On top of that I'm naturally quiet and shy, and I guess I never really felt the urgency to make friends since I do fine completely alone, but now I feel the urgency to.
I mean for fuck's sake, I eat lunch behind the gym alone every day because I'm afraid to try to sit with someone. I spend every weekend alone but it's not like I don't have friends. I talk to people and say Hi, but that's about it. I'm too afraid to call them and ask them if they want to do something so I just wait for them to come to me instead. It's really a tortuous cycle, but I know I shouldn't complain seeing as I have a nice house, I live in America, and I don't have to worry about anything more than school and stuff of the sort.
Ok that's all I'm going to say here in terms of personal problems, just to explain what kind of position I'm in.
- RANT/VENT SESSION CLOSED -