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10 reasons to NOT jerk off

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biohasard
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10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:15:34

yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

1.it's a sick thing to do.
2.your cum will get everywere....
3.you will make god cry
4.it's a complete waste of time!
5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!
6.it makes you less of a man
7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!
8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)
9. it's NOT COOL
10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....


Biohasard, Staying neutral since 2009!

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newnerdproductionsTM
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:16:22

Are you a radical Christian?

His-Penis-is-on-Fire
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:17:16

At 10/30/08 05:16 PM, newnerdproductionsTM wrote: Are you a radical Christian?

no, he's just a retard


I have more fetishes than I have fingers. :D

The explaination of my screen name is my post here. Now fuck off.

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imdeth
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:18:55

It's a good thing that I hate god and baby mexicans then.

Also, what happens if a gay man masturbates?


I LIKE TO TOUCH MEN.

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qwertyowen
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:19:15

So i take it you relive your sexual tensions by getting laid, or are you celibate?

Puzzled
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:19:15

i like black cock shoved up my ass

mmm mmm good


kiss my ass!
im an attention whore DUR!

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solardave
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:21

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

I know you are a tit, but I will answer these


1.it's a sick thing to do.

feels good

2.your cum will get everywere....

feels (tastes) good

3.you will make god cry

he doesn't exist

4.it's a complete waste of time!

not when it is bedtime

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

good for him

6.it makes you less of a man

probably, but it feels good

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

i'm not wolverine

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

I could live with it

9. it's NOT COOL

you are not cool

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

NG did that


qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

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Boxxy
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:37

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

1.it's a sick thing to do.

Who cares we love our dicks.

2.your cum will get everywere....

So tasty

3.you will make god cry

lolno

4.it's a complete waste of time!

That's why we do it in our free time.

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

Shut the fuck up about Chuck Norris jokes.

6.it makes you less of a man

What the fuck?

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

Explain.

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

Stupid family guy quote is stupid

9. it's NOT COOL

How old are you?

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

Fuck.


The Saiyans are a true ham and cheese sandwich, DON'T UNDERESTOMATO!

biohasard
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:44

At 10/30/08 05:19 PM, Puzzled wrote: i like black cock shoved up my ass

mmm mmm good

yes, that is the christan thing to do.... mmm black cock


Biohasard, Staying neutral since 2009!

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RubberTrucky
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:45

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

1.it's a sick thing to do.

Sick...or sexy? ;-p

2.your cum will get everywere....

Use a tissue or cum towl.

3.you will make god cry

That man created earth and everything. He can surely take it.

4.it's a complete waste of time!

No it isn't. It's the piece of heaven in a dead end job.

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

I don't like mexicans anyway.

6.it makes you less of a man

A cup of semen less.

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

Long live Duct tape.

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

It kills mexicans anyway, so it balances out.

9. it's NOT COOL

It's HOT!

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

Sanity is overrated.


RubberJournal: READY DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT!
Mathematics club: we have beer and exponentials.
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HomicidialFrog
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:51

10 reasons to Jerk Off:

1. It's good.

2. It can prevent cancer.

3. See 1.

4. See 1.

5. See 1.

6. See 1.

7. See 1.

8. See 1.

9. See 1.

10. See 1.


War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.

Mz-frost95-fr
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:57

Your totally unproven made-up statistics suck, just like you.

newnerdproductionsTM
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:20:59

we have our winner

500 wewt
JaY11
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:21:00

10 Reasons to jerk off:

1. It provides pleasure.
2. It builds up stamina for sex.
3. It's a good time waster.
4. Everybody else does it.
5. Prevents ball sac exploding.
6. Builds up wrist/forearm muscles.
7. Provides conversation (''I watched the HOTTEST porn yesterday!'')
8. Gets rid of morning wood.
9. It angers God.
10. Porn = Good.

Puzzled
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:21:47

At 10/30/08 05:20 PM, biohasard wrote:
At 10/30/08 05:19 PM, Puzzled wrote: i like black cock shoved up my ass

mmm mmm good
yes, that is the christan thing to do.... mmm black cock

too bad black cock causes cancer :(


kiss my ass!
im an attention whore DUR!

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Ghoulishtie
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:22:20

1.it's a sick thing to do.

No? Its perfectly natural. Why give em to us then if we can only use them on women? (When half the time they never let ya)

2.your cum will get everywere....

*coughtissuecough*

3.you will make god cry

I am a christian, and hell I do it. Again, read statement for #1.

4.it's a complete waste of time!

Its really good for stress relief. I dont think its a waste of time.

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

And god kills a kitten. Come on, now your the one wasting time.

6.it makes you less of a man

Actually I belive that if a girl thats into you ever asked, 'do you masterbate often?' and you tell here you never have, THAT would make you look like a pussy. Its just fact to everyone that all guys jerk off.

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

Never heard or seen anything about that happening.

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

Family guy quotes arent welcome here. gtfo.

9. it's NOT COOL

Opinion.

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

Actually thats just a phase that 10 year olds go through after they have visited newgrounds.

Overall, your arguements make no sense, and everyone does it. Dont do it if you dont want to, but you cant do SHIT about any of us doing it.

MisterUnderstood
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:24:43

1 reason why people name 10 reasons not to do it:

1. They've tried, failed horribly meaning their sperm took like 5 hours to come out, and when it did, a microscopic sperm cell fell out and they were exhausted as hell, took up Christianity and are now blaming everyone who can sperm fountains for his incapability.


=-k9xdzcvbhjkl;'

Ragnarokia
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:25:01

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

1.it's a sick thing to do.

No it isn't. It's a perfectly natural way to relieve yourself in private or with a partner.

2.your cum will get everywere....

I cum on myself it feels good.

3.you will make god cry

I think there is enough for her to cry about already and this isn't one.

4.it's a complete waste of time!

Welcome to pre-maturity

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

Chuck Norris would be beaten up by the baby.

6.it makes you less of a man

If only it did...

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

the penis is very strong and no one is able to masturbate hard enough to cause that.

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

I am already gay.

9. it's NOT COOL

Why does that have anything to do with it?

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

Give me proof.

You children really should wait untill your balls drop before complaining.


When this post hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious friendship.
Let's Player, Artist, Pony writer, Cuteness!

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Mich
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:27:38

At 10/30/08 05:18 PM, imdeth wrote: It's a good thing that I hate god and baby mexicans then.

Also, what happens if a gay man masturbates?

Read 8 again.

Sashuno
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:27:51

At 10/30/08 05:17 PM, His-Penis-is-on-Fire wrote:
At 10/30/08 05:16 PM, newnerdproductionsTM wrote: Are you a radical Christian?
no, he's just a retard

And/or someone who has less of a life than the average NG user.


Tank_sm.gif loves you! Click it to show it show it some love, too! :D

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Boxxy
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:28:32

And also I really don't believe you're 18 years old and haven't masturbated.


The Saiyans are a true ham and cheese sandwich, DON'T UNDERESTOMATO!

Edufish9
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:29:18

neil patrick harris masturbates..

YOU DARE DEFY NPR
BE GONE MORTAL!


NPH, GOD

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bangyouredead
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:30:52

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: yes.... i said NOT and this is why.....

1.it's a sick thing to do.

lol idiot

2.your cum will get everywere....

lol idiot

3.you will make god cry

lol idiot

4.it's a complete waste of time!

lol idiot

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

lol idiot

6.it makes you less of a man

lol idiot

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

lol idiot

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

lol idiot

9. it's NOT COOL

lol idiot

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

lol idiot

Dude, it's been proven it's good for your health, it helps prevent some form of cancer (can't remember what it's called).


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solardave
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:31:01

At 10/30/08 05:29 PM, Edufish9 wrote: neil patrick harris masturbates..

YOU DARE DEFY NPR
BE GONE MORTAL!

NPH as Dr Horrible FTW

10 reasons to NOT jerk off


qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

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CapnCrunchDaPimp
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:31:07

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: 1.it's a sick thing to do.

It's natural dude, sexual release through masturbation is completely normal and healthy.

2.your cum will get everywere....

It's called a cumrag, Jones.

3.you will make god cry

I've already made him cry hundreds of times, a few more hundred won't hurt.

4.it's a complete waste of time!

Like posting 10 reasons why not to spank the monkey?

5.everytime you jerk off chuck noris punches a mexican baby in the face!

Chuck Norris jokes are lame. It's not 2003.

6.it makes you less of a man

I think not jerking off would make you less of a man, buddy.

7.your hand could slip and you could snap your penis i two!

LIES.

8.jerking off will turn straights into gays and gays into mexicans (sorry family guy)

BLASPHEMY! AND TERRIBLE SHOW QUOTING!

9. it's NOT COOL

Says you? The "King of Cool"?

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day....

That doesn't apply to everyone, jackass, cock jokes is real humor. If you don't jack off, you'll make ten reasons why not to jerk off, which is a lot worse.

ICANNOTCOMPUTER
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:31:16

At 10/30/08 05:15 PM, biohasard wrote: 9. it's NOT COOL

masturbation is one of the only methods that you can teach yourself how to computer! Thats how the great all knowing wade found his divine computering skills!


"THIS SHIT IS FOR 4CHAN! >:(" -General Forum Computering Oppressor

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Truth
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:32:53

Jerking off is bad

10 reasons to NOT jerk off

bangyouredead
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:36:00

At 10/30/08 05:28 PM, Alex12345269 wrote: And also I really don't believe you're 18 years old and haven't masturbated.

He could have lied about his age, and if he really is, then...he must not have a cock.....

Is it weird to masterbate at 14? Cause if it is, I totally haven't done it >.> *cough*

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flashplayer5
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:36:05

- It feels good.
- it's been proven to help prevent cancer
- it increases penis size (look it up)
- it stops you turning into a retard who says "EWW JERKING OFF IS GROSS I DUN DO IT" thus annoying everyone around them.
- it keeps porn actors in a job.

masturbation = good.


The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.

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Eddyking
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Response to 10 reasons to NOT jerk off 2008-10-30 17:39:08

10. jerking off can turn you into a retard that makes cock jokes all day.....

Too Late.


Don't expect intelligence.
"VEGAN IS SYMBOLIC OPPRESSION! STOP THE MURDER OF PLANTS! GO SUNLIGHT DIET!"

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