Killing Vampires?

[swordsman21]

I've been thinking, if all of the stories about how to kill vampires are true, would they really be that hard to avoid or kill?

1. If Vampires can not be around garlic, why not give yourself a good garlic rub down before setting off to hunt a vampire?

2. If a wooden stake to the heart kills Vampires, then why wouldn't a crossbow be an ideal weapon?

3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

4. I know they did this in a movie, but hello, Holy Water Squirt guns

5. Just go into the layer during the day, and drag the coffin out into the sunlight...

I don't know, but if you knew there was a vampire down the road who was killing people at night, wouldn't any of this stuff work?

[HomicidialFrog]

All of this is a need for Vampyre slaying...

It shames Vampires to the No End.

[NewbleHeimer]

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

1. If Vampires can not be around garlic, why not give yourself a good garlic rub down before setting off to hunt a vampire?

You mean people normally don't bathe in garlic?

Ooh. . . shit. I guess that's why no one wants to talk to me. . .

[InsertFunnyUserName]

Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

[Infinite-one]

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

lol, you with your vampire fetish.

[catman03]

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

It's like you've read the mind of every bad fanfiction writer.

[swordsman21]

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

[Infinite-one]

At 10/25/08 10:16 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[ZeroAsALimit]

Natural light did not kill Bram Stoker's Dracula, rather, it lessened his powers.

[InsertFunnyUserName]

At 10/25/08 10:16 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

Not if I pretend they aren't :D

[Funfrog211]

Well, technically, if they existed, those would all work. But they don't exist. so darn.

[EvilerBowser1001]

At 10/25/08 10:16 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

Dead =/= undead.
Seriously, tell me you wouldn't hit this.
Don't fucking lie, you would.

[killslasher]

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote: I've been thinking, if all of the stories about how to kill vampires are true, would they really be that hard to avoid or kill?

1. If Vampires can not be around garlic, why not give yourself a good garlic rub down before setting off to hunt a vampire?

Why not? That's a good thing to do.

2. If a wooden stake to the heart kills Vampires, then why wouldn't a crossbow be an ideal weapon?

Well, you could shoot it through. Usually the wooden stake is supposed to paralyze them, then you decapitate them with an axe.

3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

Or if you specialize in weapons, a flash grenade, yes, I'm sure there are atleast some in a country. Besides, they would definately send some to a situation as rare as vampires. But a flash light would definately fend off their powers.

4. I know they did this in a movie, but hello, Holy Water Squirt guns

Holy water rampages are fun.

5. Just go into the layer during the day, and drag the coffin out into the sunlight...

What if the layer blocks off the sun? You might need a shitload guns for that.

I don't know, but if you knew there was a vampire down the road who was killing people at night, wouldn't any of this stuff work?

Try using all of them togethor. Now that would work. Those are pretty good ideas.

[WooldoorSockbat]

Vampires are awesome, Why would I want to kill them?. Most of the things made to kill them are stupid to.

[InsertFunnyUserName]

At 10/25/08 10:26 PM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote: Dead =/= undead.
Seriously, tell me you wouldn't hit this.
Don't fucking lie, you would.

In a fucking heartbeat :D

[wwwyzzerdd]

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote: 3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

Yep. Batteries store light.

[EvilerBowser1001]

Also, it really depends of the story.
Such as, in Dracula 2000, they made Drac from Judas, which was why he was so scared of crosses and got burnt by holy water, because he was the original betrayer of Christ.

However, in those Vampire Novels that Are Popular now (I forget what they're called), you can't kill them unless you rip them apart and burn them.

Or in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, where the Vampire villain could only be killed by sunlight if he didn't get back in his coffin in time, so his leg kept getting broken until he fell in half and got burned by the rising sun.

They don't exist, so the point is moot, anyway.

[patm1313]

Somebody has too much time on their hands...

[Raguel]

At 10/25/08 10:39 PM, wwwyzzerdd wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote: 3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

Yep. Batteries store light.

You might as well just use normal batteries and nail him with the electricity that it shoots out.

[swordsman21]

At 10/25/08 10:26 PM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:16 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

Dead =/= undead.
Seriously, tell me you wouldn't hit this.
Don't fucking lie, you would.

Undead's bodies are dead. Only the spirit remains to have a semblance of life that continues to animate the corpse. A vampire's body will not rot, but that is because the curse that keeps the controlling spirit alive a;so stops the decay. However, the body is lifeless. Vampire's hearts don't beat, they don't eat normal food (and don't digest blood though their stomachs), they don't need to breath, and it differs from source to source, but I'm pretty sure that they can't get have sex (unless they can summon rigor mortis)

[Scary-Kids]

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Of course you would

since that dreaded Twilight series made vampires be more like pretty boys instead of blood sucking monsters

[MonkeyV]

At 10/25/08 10:26 PM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:16 PM, swordsman21 wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:13 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Why would you kill a vampire if you could just as easily have sex with them? That's what I would do.

Because Vampires' bodies are dead. Having sex with one would be necrophilia.

Dead =/= undead.
Seriously, tell me you wouldn't hit this.
Don't fucking lie, you would.

couldn't, she spends her nights no-scoping people in pitch black from 5 miles away around corners with that giant gun. No time for doing people.

[Phantox]

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote:
3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

No. It's not like the flash light will shoot sunlight rays

[swordsman21]

At 10/26/08 01:01 AM, Phantox wrote:

At 10/25/08 10:07 PM, swordsman21 wrote:
3. This one may be a little iffy, but if you use batteries that were recharged with solar energy to power a flash light, does that make it more lethal?

No. It's not like the flash light will shoot sunlight rays

Yeah, but the energy that is powering the light is stored solar energy

[wwwyzzerdd]

At 10/25/08 10:43 PM, Raguel wrote: You might as well just use normal batteries and nail him with the electricity that it shoots out.

I'm just going to take my years of studying electrical theory and curl up in a corner and cry after reading much of this thread.

[Fleshlight]

vampires don't exist.

[JadeTheAssassin]

At 10/25/08 10:18 PM, ZeroAsALimit wrote: Natural light did not kill Bram Stoker's Dracula, rather, it lessened his powers.

That's why Gary Oldman > all.

[igott]

Four ways to Cripple and/or End a Vampy:

1) Slit the through and blast a hole between the eyes, Nothing gets up after that, NO EXCEPTIONS.

2) Rip out the heart or brain and feed it to an animal, congrats, you just fed a stray and killed some evil.

3) Slice the veins (neck, wrists, etc.) and keep them open. Every time the Vampire needs to feed, it will leave the body from the wounds, the vampire will eventually starve and die.

4) Set it on fire. The vampires hate the sun because it's made of FIRE, even the light of small embers hurt them, why not drench them in Gasoline and send them to hell?

[swordsman21]

At 10/26/08 01:22 AM, igott wrote: Four ways to Cripple and/or End a Vampy:

1) Slit the through and blast a hole between the eyes, Nothing gets up after that, NO EXCEPTIONS.

2) Rip out the heart or brain and feed it to an animal, congrats, you just fed a stray and killed some evil.

3) Slice the veins (neck, wrists, etc.) and keep them open. Every time the Vampire needs to feed, it will leave the body from the wounds, the vampire will eventually starve and die.

4) Set it on fire. The vampires hate the sun because it's made of FIRE, even the light of small embers hurt them, why not drench them in Gasoline and send them to hell?

with the exception of the third one, which I'm not sure would work as I'm pretty sure vampires can heal their wounds very quickly, it kind of breaks the spirit of the thread, as I'm looking for nonconvential ways to kill a vampire. 1 and 2 and subsets of beheading, and 4 is already well known.

[TheSouthernTower]

its not hard as long as this man is on your side