Aperture Laboratories

[ApertureScience]

Hello Citizen

We've noticed that <<Insert website name here>> is a large humans community with many persons looking for an exciting adventure. Aperture Science provides that and even more! Our test chambers will give you an incredible adrenaline, physical training, mental stimulation, company during the tests and, more important, CAKE!

Join us today and enjoy all these advantages!

[Electric-Bla]

I am both excited and intrigued by this offer. However, I have heard rumours that existence of this tasty treat known as "cake" that you offer, may or may not be in question. What is you answer to these claims?

[Bacchanalian]

At 10/25/08 02:55 PM, ApertureScience wrote: Our test chambers will give you an incredible adrenaline, physical training, mental stimulation, company during the tests and, more important, CAKE!

I guess even aperture science computers suck at grammar.

[PsycoticDemon]

At 10/25/08 03:00 PM, Bacchanalian wrote:

At 10/25/08 02:55 PM, ApertureScience wrote: Our test chambers will give you an incredible adrenaline, physical training, mental stimulation, company during the tests and, more important, CAKE!

I guess even aperture science computers suck at grammar.

lol owned.

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 02:58 PM, Electric-Bla wrote: I am both excited and intrigued by this offer. However, I have heard rumours that existence of this tasty treat known as "cake" that you offer, may or may not be in question. What is you answer to these claims?

The Enrichment Center apologizes for the fake rumors about the 99% truth cake. Some citizens have some envy about the special bated cake and think that spread a lie is a way to get it.

[MyxEfficient]

You're trying to hard to be clever and witty.

-100 points!

[Doom-Fan]

At 10/25/08 03:02 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

The Enrichment Center apologizes for the fake rumors about the 99% truth cake. Some citizens have some envy about the special bated cake and think that spread a lie is a way to get it.

Can you somehow prove to us that the cake is, indeed, not a lie?

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 03:00 PM, Bacchanalian wrote: I guess even aperture science computers suck at grammar.

Aperture Science apologizes the grammar about our computer system [GLaDOS]. The progrmer were not amrican.

[Fleshlight]

god i'm sick of portal

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 03:04 PM, Doom-Fan wrote:

At 10/25/08 03:02 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

The Enrichment Center apologizes for the fake rumors about the 99% truth cake. Some citizens have some envy about the special bated cake and think that spread a lie is a way to get it.

Can you somehow prove to us that the cake is, indeed, not a lie?

Of course, my dear human. Here is a truly picture of our cake, taken by a successful test subject.

[Doom-Fan]

At 10/25/08 03:10 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

Of course, my dear human. Here is a truly picture of our cake, taken by a successful test subject.

Well, that's good enough for me.

[Porkchop]

At 10/25/08 03:16 PM, Doom-Fan wrote:

At 10/25/08 03:10 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

Of course, my dear human. Here is a truly picture of our cake, taken by a successful test subject.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Me too.

[Bacchanalian]

At 10/25/08 03:10 PM, ApertureScience wrote: Of course, my dear human. Here is a truly picture of our cake, taken by a successful test subject.

Aperture science, have your image cropping algorithms checked out. That image isn't quite centered.

[Rig]

The last thread you made like this was deleted for a reason.

[FattyWhale]

You made a new account just for this?

[Bacchanalian]

At 10/25/08 03:32 PM, Rig wrote: The last thread you made like this was deleted for a reason.

Stop the madness Rig!

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 03:32 PM, Rig wrote: The last thread you made like this was deleted for a reason.

I'm sorry, citizen. A primitive user of this website named "NEVR" told me that it was "OK" to "make the thread lol".
I did not fully understand his words.

[lilcheeselad]

YOU MADE GLADOS MAKE ME KILL THE COMPANION CUBE

[Xavon]

At 10/25/08 03:36 PM, ApertureScience wrote: I'm sorry, citizen. A primitive user of this website named "NEVR" told me that it was "OK" to "make the thread lol".
I did not fully understand his words.

If my opinion matters, this gradually made me laugh a little.

Nobody remembers me though. :[

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 03:39 PM, lilcheeselad wrote: YOU MADE GLADOS MAKE ME KILL THE COMPANION CUBE

Here is a subliminal message for the unbelievers. Please remove your hat and glasses and read the text from left to right.

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

At 10/25/08 03:24 PM, Crusher117 wrote:

At 10/25/08 03:16 PM, Doom-Fan wrote:

At 10/25/08 03:10 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

Of course, my dear human. Here is a truly picture of our cake, taken by a successful test subject.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Me too.

SIGN ME UP TOO!!!

[CompanionCube]

At 10/25/08 03:39 PM, lilcheeselad wrote: YOU MADE GLADOS MAKE ME KILL THE COMPANION CUBE

Jeez I'm fine o_O

[SuperLulzords]

I think this thread is weaved with win.

[Fuckle]

At 10/25/08 03:07 PM, ApertureScience wrote:

At 10/25/08 03:00 PM, Bacchanalian wrote: I guess even aperture science computers suck at grammar.

Aperture Science apologizes the grammar about our computer system [GLaDOS]. The progrmer were not amrican.

What is a "progrmer" or a "amrican"?

[Monkey-Boy]

This was a triumph.

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 05:26 PM, Fuckle wrote: What is a "progrmer" or a "amrican"?

Aperture Laboratories apologizes for the [GLaDOS] System. This system may contain some sarcasm that can't be detected by the human race.

[Skwurll]

the cake is a lie, bitch

seriously, this game is old. let it die in peace.

[ApertureScience]

At 10/25/08 06:08 PM, Skwurll wrote: the cake is a lie, bitch

Well, we have to admit that bzzzzzzxzzxzxzxzxz****ds*S*Sddvf* <<Connection lost>>

[JadeTheAssassin]

HeLlO mY nAmE iS GlAdOs.

We WiLl BeGiN sHuTtInG dOwN tHe FaCiLiTy In 4 MiNuTeS.