Hey Newgrounds,
My name is Tom, and I own every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at my awesome pictures. You are everything boring in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any adminship? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on the userpages.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best photoshop. I'm pretty much perfect. I am the owner of newgrounds, and I still am. What website do you own, other than "make a shitty one time website"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot wife (She just got pregnant; Shit was SO cash). You are all newgrounders who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my wife.