Forum Topic: Unique but not Special

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Twerpo

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:17 AM

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I'm sick and tired of people always telling me that I'm special. I've heard it at school since I was a young child. Each one of us is a unique special jewel that will grow up to be something amazing. This is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. Okay, they are half right. Each one of us is unique, but we're all unique. Each and every single one of us is unique. See the paradox? Just because you're unique does not mean your special. A factory defect is unique, but is it special? Should it be treated with respect and congeniality just because it is different? No, it is thrown into a wastebin.

I'm tired of everyone being told their special, when they're not. I'll concede that a few select people are special. People with exceptionally high IQ's or those who have a skill few can. These people exhibit a trait that is very rare and useful, and are therebye special. The vast majority of people have never been, are not, and never will be special. That's just part of life. If all of us are special, as we are told, then none of us are special. If everyone is amazing, everyone's the same, and there is no exception. No one stands out. It's like everyone on the soccer team getting a trophy for MVP, it makes no sense. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. Just because everyone tells you that you're all equal, special, oh so perfect people, you aren't, and deep down you know you aren't too.

Worst of all, telling someone that they're special makes them feel, well, special. They feel entitled to better treatment, and are struck in shock when they are treated as everyone else is. They feel as if they are better than everyone else, and should treated as such. Paraphrasing from the ever hilarious webcomic xkcd, you were once shoved head first through a vagina, what gives you the right to be so indignant?

You're not special. No one's better than anyone else. Stop telling people otherwise, and for god's sake, stop acting otherwise.

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Bacchanalian

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:20 AM

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Unconditionals like "everyone is" or "always be" and so on almost always misplace the semantic value of the words they choose to follow.

"Everyone is beautiful" is another one.
And, "I am the best me." is particularly ridiculous.

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ZyklonB

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:21 AM

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I feel the same exact way but about politics and peoples opinions

I too grace people with my ignorance

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DiscoveryOne

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:22 AM

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I agree, telling everyone that theyre special turns them into self-entitled twat monkeys, bouncing in the hydraulic car their parents bought, wearing their baseball caps the wrong way, listening to 50 cent and holding their hands in some bizarre technique for fingering a woman.

especially in the suburbs

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ShortMonkey

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:23 AM

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I think it's not a bad thing to say that to a little kid, especially if you're the parent. It's also ok if someone is going through a depression (a real depression, not just some teenager phase) to tell them they're special. And it's also ok to tell your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband that they're special to you.

Some people take it differently - I don't think it's really annoying to say it but I wouldn't like it if someone said it to me. Nobody tries to butter me up like that because I'm the person that just wouldn't give a shit.


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IamMajik

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:27 AM

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nothing is fair and never will be in life.

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Bacchanalian

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:33 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:23 AM, ShortMonkey wrote: I think it's not a bad thing to say that to a little kid, especially if you're the parent. It's also ok if someone is going through a depression (a real depression, not just some teenager phase) to tell them they're special. And it's also ok to tell your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband that they're special to you.

Well in the cases of the parents/girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/hus bands I think it's actually kind of honest.

For depression though I find it's usually best to keep to things that are less abstract than special. Those sorts of things don't usually hold up against the scrutiny of a depressed person.

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Arab

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:35 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:17 AM, Twerpo wrote: I'm tired of everyone being told their special, when they're not. I'll concede that a few select people are special. People with exceptionally high IQ's or those who have a skill few can. These people exhibit a trait that is very rare and useful, and are therebye special.

Well I am both of these, so fuck off i am special.

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Twerpo

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:36 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:21 AM, ZyklonB wrote: I feel the same exact way but about politics and peoples opinions
I too grace people with my ignorance

Would you try to elaborate your criticism? I'm not quite sure how my statement was ignorant, or even how one could feel the same about politics and peoples opinions.

Ironically, I now am ignorant as I have no idea what you're talking about, which is maybe what you were talking about.

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Twerpo

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Posted at: 10/21/08 01:44 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:35 AM, Arab wrote:
At 10/21/08 01:17 AM, Twerpo wrote: I'm tired of everyone being told their special, when they're not. I'll concede that a few select people are special. People with exceptionally high IQ's or those who have a skill few can. These people exhibit a trait that is very rare and useful, and are therebye special.
Well I am both of these, so fuck off i am special.

I highly doubt this. I'm not talking about slightly high intellects. I'm talking about people like the guy who learned icelandic in a week. I'm talking about true geniuses. And by a skill very few people have, I mean there are less than thirty people with that skill, or have developed that skill to that level.

I myself am very intelligent and have a musical talent, but I do not consider myself special. I consider myself talented, but in no way am I special. There are many people smarter than me, and many much better musically.

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Arab

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:20 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:44 AM, Twerpo wrote: I highly doubt this. I'm not talking about slightly high intellects. I'm talking about people like the guy who learned icelandic in a week. I'm talking about true geniuses. And by a skill very few people have, I mean there are less than thirty people with that skill, or have developed that skill to that level.

I myself am very intelligent and have a musical talent, but I do not consider myself special. I consider myself talented, but in no way am I special. There are many people smarter than me, and many much better musically.

I sound big headed etc if I say this...so I dont...but what the hell do I care what you motherfuckers think...I've met one person who I can honestly say I believe could match or possibly exceed how smart I am, and by smart I mean ability to learn, comprehend, apply logic, solve, see, understand, etc...

While my previous post was made as a joke, I can't deny that I really do believe it. And believe me...its not because of mommy or daddy saying I'm special...

But what does it matter? This is the internet, and of all places, NG's.

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Patrickman

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:26 AM

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I've become so jaded by life that I quit caring about who is better that who. You know what I think? Nothing matters. We all grow old, die, and the universe still lives on. I'm not some existentialist jerk, I'm just saying that everyone should live to achieve happiness rather that achieve "The best".

yo


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Arab

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:30 AM

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At 10/21/08 02:26 AM, Patrickman wrote: I'm just saying that everyone should live to achieve happiness rather that achieve "The best".

Agreed. This has been my view as of a year or two ago.

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Bacchanalian

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:33 AM

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At 10/21/08 02:26 AM, Patrickman wrote: I've become so jaded by life that I quit caring about who is better that who. You know what I think? Nothing matters. We all grow old, die, and the universe still lives on. I'm not some existentialist jerk, I'm just saying that everyone should live to achieve happiness rather that achieve "The best".

Happiness, superiority, etc are all just slightly different means to the same end, and I don't mean death, I mean validation. I mention this anyway, because I think it's a nuance to be mentioned, though by the phrasing "everyone should" you're clearly talking in moral imperatives, rather than the human mechanism. (My comment doesn't justify anything, yours is justification.)

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Kuro

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:38 AM

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Geez, the adults are just trying to make kids feel good about themselves when they say that.

Would you go up to an impressionable child and tell them the truth that they're just like everyone else, a pathetic and useless loser?

Stop being so cynical, and try and just look on the bright side.

Kuro - Puting the 'Kur' back in 'inkurable disease.'

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Bacchanalian

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Posted at: 10/21/08 02:46 AM

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At 10/21/08 02:38 AM, Kuro wrote: Geez, the adults are just trying to make kids feel good about themselves when they say that.

Yes, it is kind of silly to be up in arms over this. However, venting is a pretty good means of coping with disillusionment.

Would you go up to an impressionable child and tell them the truth that they're just like everyone else, a pathetic and useless loser?

Cause that's clearly the only alternative.

They're children. Calling them a useless pathetic loser would be as dishonest as calling them special.

Stop being so cynical, and try and just look on the bright side.

You can look on the bright side and still be honest.

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Twerpo

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Posted at: 10/21/08 03:42 AM

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At 10/21/08 02:38 AM, Kuro wrote: Geez, the adults are just trying to make kids feel good about themselves when they say that.

Would you go up to an impressionable child and tell them the truth that they're just like everyone else, a pathetic and useless loser?

Stop being so cynical, and try and just look on the bright side.

I'm not saying you should say that they're pathetic losers. All I'm saying is stop telling them they're an oh so special flower that will blosom into something incredible. Tell them they're unique, sure, but for gods sake, don't tell them they're special.

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Yorik

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Posted at: 10/21/08 11:42 AM

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On the other hand, if you were told that you were a piece of shit for your entire life you would be a piece of shit.


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Corky-D

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Posted at: 10/21/08 11:51 AM

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There really is too much negativeness in here.

What's so wrong in being kind?

Even if it means lying?

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Bacchanalian

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Posted at: 10/23/08 01:48 AM

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At 10/21/08 11:51 AM, Corky-D wrote: There really is too much negativeness in here.

What's so wrong in being kind?

A lot of what is told to kids, so that they can be kids, is kindness in the shallowest sense. It has more to do with adults living vicariously through a pliable medium, lack of creativity or care to find something more cogent to say, contractual obligation, or commercial interests. No, I'm not disregarding the people who actually do it to be nice.

Also, the argument/issue reaches beyond the simple matter of immediate emotional satisfaction. Reinforcement of this particular lie, and other similar treatment, shows (anecdotal and logically but not scientifically) a tendency to develop in a child a false or inflated sense of entitlement.

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DrHood

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Posted at: 10/23/08 03:00 AM

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At 10/21/08 03:42 AM, Twerpo wrote: I'm not saying you should say that they're pathetic losers. All I'm saying is stop telling them they're an oh so special flower that will blossom into something incredible. Tell them they're unique, sure, but for gods sake, don't tell them they're special.

I dunno, I think some people have a lot of potential if only they thought they could do better. Sometimes life can put you in a position where you think you can't do something anymore, but many times that isn't the case if only you would have believed.

I think I got a little off topic, I think that some people can use a little encouragement once in a while, but surely they don't need to be drowned in praise just because they can do a little better than the average Joe.

I guess this means I agree with Twerpo, people shouldn't be treated as super-special, but I DO believe that slight praise is in order if something does something cool. "Nice, dude" and not "OH MY GOD YOU ARE etcetc".

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TheCatsLeotards

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Posted at: 10/23/08 03:04 AM

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great, you've gone through that 'we're all mediocre phase'. next is the conformity one, then the conspiracy theory phase. Then you're well on your way to becoming jaded.

oh predictable youth, why don't you ever go through some profound stages?

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Max-HP

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Posted at: 10/23/08 03:05 AM

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Don'tcha just love euphemisms?


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SymbolCymbal

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Posted at: 10/23/08 06:38 AM

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ZeroAsALimit

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Posted at: 10/23/08 06:40 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:17 AM, Twerpo wrote: I'm sick and tired of people always telling me that I'm special.

*Childish snickering*


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Funfrog211

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Posted at: 10/23/08 06:55 AM

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I agree with you Twerpo. No one is special because we are all unique, which makes us the same. Also, why should people be treated special? Fuck them, they are just another human being. What makes him/her so great? Has he/she won a Nobel Prize? Have they found a cure for cancer? I highly doubt it.

Now, the creator of xkcd is very special.

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Avarion

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Posted at: 10/23/08 08:08 AM

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In general, I don't think it's a great idea to tell kids their special, at least, not on a regular basis. I think it's OK to tell them it once or twice when they're young to make them think they can achieve the unachievable, which could make them want to try harder than they have been, but telling them that all the time would probably just lead to them developing an inflated ego, which wouldn't help them at all.

Telling kids they are unique, however, is something entirely different. I don't agree with just telling kids that they're unique. In my opinion, it's far better to tell a kid they're unique and actually point out WHY they are, help them see the skills and talents that they have so that they can develop them and really go from strength to strength (if they so desire, ultimately though it's better that they are happy rather than successful, although it's definately possible to be both). Just telling them they're unique wouldn't do much, especially if they hear it often. They'll just be left thinking "How am I?" (assuming they don't already see it).

As far as telling people close to you such as your own kids, your partner and so on that they're special or that they're unique is something I would agree with, since it's meant in an entirely different sense, although even then it's probably a good idea not to tell them that all the time.


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Sawdust

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Posted at: 10/23/08 10:05 AM

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Oh, so you want parents to demotivate their children as they grow?

You want kids to grow up to be less than a tenth of what they could be if they believed in something?

Really, a little pep talk now and then isn't bad. Hell, it's great since it reduces the number of emo people.

Baby can't you see, you belong with me

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Sekhem

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Posted at: 10/23/08 10:08 AM

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At 10/21/08 01:17 AM, Twerpo wrote:

:No one's better than anyone else.

somehow i doubt that the kid in special ed who jerks off in class and drools all over the place is equal to me

Think about this; think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.

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RoobyKillAll

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Posted at: 10/23/08 10:16 AM

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It's just all the politically correct bullshit. Everyone's raised equally through the educational system, lead to believe we're all shining stars. Putting all these hopes and dreams in our minds. But when I look around in my mind at my grade 8 class, 3 of them are dead, some of them dropped out, most of them have no direction, only a small handful of them actually went on to college or university. The rest work at gas stations and grocery stores.

Aren't we all special.

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