I have Lime Disease

[ChuckDude131]

Okay, on Thursday. It was 11:30pm. my gf and i ben dating fur 2 weeks so she wanted to cum to my house. So she came over, then she locks my front door and strips off her clodes and she's like "Your mine now!" and im like wtf mate? So she asks me to go upstairs for a few hours with her. So I went upstairs and then she gets naked and strips me off and has hot sex with me. I felt like I was getting raped like that women in The hills have eyes 2 in the beginning where she has been raped by an alien. then bends down and sucks my meatgrinder. So after that, She left and I slept in my cum stained bedroom. Then 8 Hours later, I woke up and got some coffee. Then 2 hours later, I was watching Spongebob and I took a shower and when I was in the shower, A tick was on my curly pubic hair.

Then the next day, I went to the Doctor to check me up. She says I have lime disease. Shes says It might've been a tick. Thank god I didn't suffer anything like Head aches or any other symptoms. So this day, I'm kinda almost feeling better. Was it my girlfriend who gave me this tick? I dunno

Has anybody ever had this disease?

[ExplosionsHurt]

nope

[Prinzy2]

No, but I do have a thing for lemons.

[gradenator]

What did all that bullshit in the first paragraph have to do with your lime disease?

[Mr-Destruction]

I haven't gotten it but I bet it was your dirty girlfriend you passed it on to you (if she even exists.)

[Rohedin]

Nice idea for a story, poorly executed. 3/10, try better next time.

[patm1313]

At 10/12/08 10:28 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: she wanted to cum to my house
I felt like I was getting raped like that women in The hills have eyes 2
bends down and sucks my meatgrinder
I slept in my cum stained bedroom
Then 2 hours later, I was watching Spongebob
I went to the Doctor to check me up.

Funny phrases I found.
1. Wait, "She" wanted to "cum" to your house?

Lol, wut?

2. You felt like you were getting raped by an alien?
3. Meatgrinder? WTF?
4. How much did you cum that your whole bedroom was stained?
5. You watched spongebob? You are either A. 5 years old, or B. Have a spongebob fetish.
6. "Checked up"?

[iateamexican]

Your first response to your girlfriend of 2 weeks just walking over and stripping nude in front of you was "what the fuck mate?"?

[Snake-Arsenic]

You know those really cheesy bad pornos from the 80s? This is even less original than those are. Enjoy your lime while I enjoy my pizza.

[saqwert]

There were no aliens in the Hills have eyes 2, they're mutants. Get your shit straight

[ChuckDude131]

You think this is funny?

This is a crisis situation! I have Lime Disease! My fucking dick is all (well used too). But please, this isn't funny

[Biohazard1031]

I don't believe you one nit. you sound way too young to be having sex and your too stupid to get a girlfriend. you watch spongebob and your usernames chuckdude gives away that the whole topic is a lie. but the lime disease part probably isn't.

[ShadowWest]

Cool story bro.

[JKMonkey]

At 10/12/08 10:40 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: You think this is funny?

This is a crisis situation! I have Lime Disease! My fucking dick is all (well used too). But please, this isn't funny

calm down, i've never heard of anyone dieing from lime disease

your acting as if its AIDS

[Rose-Vampire]

Bull story, work on your act mate. ;)

[Mz-frost95-fr]

I'm sorry to hear.

[pyromaniac616]

At 10/12/08 10:28 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: Then 2 hours later, I was watching Spongebob

Why on earth were you watching spongebob? how old are you, 8?

If so, Underage user is underage!, if not then you are one sad, sad, person.

I also highly doubt you have a girlfriend.

[ChuckDude131]

Just because I watch Spongebob, doesn't mean I'm underage

[ZeldaFreak701]

At 10/12/08 10:32 AM, gradenator wrote: What did all that bullshit in the first paragraph have to do with your lime disease?

What did that bullshit paragraph even say? Besides, Lyme disease is when your body stiff us and you can barely move. I'm sure your girlfriend would've contraced it long before you would've from that "tick" and therefore wouldn't be able to back up your bogus story.

FAIL.

[Iamjohn]

At 10/12/08 10:28 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: Has anybody ever had this disease?

Nope, but you deserve it for that poor story.

[pyromaniac616]

At 10/12/08 10:53 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: Just because I watch Spongebob, doesn't mean I'm underage

No, it means you had a traumatised life where your alchoholic dad raped you everyday.

[Lost-Chances]

Hands don't transmit diseases.

[Fleshlight]

does that mean you grow lemons all over your skin? that's awesome

[pyromaniac616]

At 10/12/08 10:56 AM, pyromaniac616 wrote:

At 10/12/08 10:53 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: Just because I watch Spongebob, doesn't mean I'm underage

No, it means you had a traumatised life where your alchoholic dad raped you everyday.

forgot the pic

[Fishdert]

First of all, it's "Lyme disease"... Second of all, I almost got it, but thankfully the two (!) ticks that bit me didn't carry it. I'm so lucky, lol. :)

[junkietomato]

You should really drink 5 gallons of bleach.

[NewGroundAssasin]

At 10/12/08 10:28 AM, ChuckDude131 wrote: my gf and i

This is the reason i left this guy doesnt have a girlfriend

[ExplosionsHurt]

does this "guy" who got lyme disease know that on his profile page he is actually female o.O

[GamingRoyalty]

Please be a joke...

[Bendt]

Wow, for a minute I believed you.