My english project (Story)

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Wuggawoot

Wuggawoot

Member since: Aug. 8, 2007
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My english project (Story) 2008-09-10 20:13:37 Reply

<Told from the viewpoint of an old grizzled sailor>
There once was a man named John Tomato, He was a complex man, who enjoyed his halopki. He was a man born of lennengrad, a veteran of world war 2. He was coming home from Chuck E' cheeses in his boat when a group of halopki loving sharks attacked his halopki tanker, The Hardcore Billy. As the ship burst into flames, John dove for the escape boats. He made it by a fraction of an inch, and managed to put distance between him and the haloupki sharks before they finished off the halopki left from the tanker. But little did John know that a delicious pocket of halopki had positioned itself on his boat. Just then, one of the leader of the pack, Chuck the Great White Holupki Shark dove abord his dingey. Seconds later, the shark had devoured the haloupki on board. The shark then turned to John. John responded with a swift roundhouse kick to the sharks face, which caused the shark to vomit massive amouts of holupki onto his boat. He then finished off the shark with his trademarked alcon punch%u2122. Unlike the falcon punch, the alcon takes a long time to work. During this time, the shark shackled John to the boat.
So now John waited, his only company a dead shark, for three days. At this time, the halopki on board his vessel formed a message. "If you build it, they will come". This was obviously the halopki fucking with John, so John requested the powder, then proceded to bitch slap the halopki. The halopki formed an arrow outside his boat, facing a small piece of paper which had survived the previous halopki-tanker raping. John retrieved the paper, which contained a message "What gets wet while it dries". John, puzzled, pondered this question for 4 years 20 days, 32 minutes in his boat, while feasting on the dead shark laying next to him. It tastes like chicken, he yelled aloud. Fearing his food supply would run out, John read the note one more time, thinking harder than hitler when he was planning what to do with the bodies after they were burned. A solution that could not only remove the bodies, but remove the dust left behind. He and hitler came up with the same answer. As John realized the solution, he shouted into the distance A TOWEL! Its a towel! Shortly there after, absolutely nothing happened, and John died.