how to tell if your son is a hacker

[jim3]

listen to some of this shit

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001.12.
2.42056.2147.html

any thoughts?

[putzpie]

You do know that it is a joke right?
I mean, nobody is that stupid. Not even the suposed christian retards I keep hearing about on newgrounds.

[Impalement]

WHY DOES THIS SHIT MATTER.
i would be happy if my son was a hacker.

[inclusivedisjunction]

I use Lunix all the time, and I'm no hacker.

[Guardian-Angel]

I got the joke after Linux. And then i realized which quake you were talking about. Very sneaky. Very sneaky indeed.

[daruler1]

I think he is just quoting a story but if thats a real story then the dad is probably stupid and if hes using AOL is even more stupid,back in the 56K days AOL was always slow and it takes over your computer and I was censored on the AOL forums , fuck AOL the fascist cunts,there I said it.

[DarkFireball]

For your information,

that has been around 10 years.

And its not a joke. A real mother posted that on I think AOL.com a LONG time ago.

[Rage]

This is as old as the game 'Quake'.

Quake was released in 1996.