I have a serious problem...

[Adio]

I have become my ex-girlfriends best friend, and it sucks quite a bit, let me tell you. We broke up, a year or 2 ago and i decided to start talking to her again, but it ended up being epic fail.

I can't help but like her because shes one of the few females who associates with me at all, and not that im terrible looking, but i have the figure of a woman and little no muscle, aaand I'm not the best social person. (I'm on /b/, that should be self explanetory.)

She calls me every day, calls me cute names like sweetheart/hun/sexy etc and its really frustrating. I've become love struck, so I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is aku. What do I do, I don't want to be a dick and cut her out completey/not answer phone calls. Shes coming over tomorrow and were gonna go get nachos and shit, but theres no chance of me getting in here pants besides kill/rape. What the fuckass do I do?

[Franklin-Moore]

You silly humans and your "love".

[Dookiemaister]

grind a rufee in her nachos

[Shadow4102]

i may be gay but i know when a girl likes someone. did you ever come to the conclusion that she likes you still? talk to her about it

[Patonki]

Pay her for sex. If you're desperate.

[Lagerkapo]

At 8/28/08 12:21 AM, Dookiemaister wrote: grind a rufee in her nachos

Or better yet, a few grams of Molly powder. (Pure MDMA)

A tenth of a gram will make you ROLL.

She'll fall in love and you'll have the best sex AVER. And as an added bonus, her pussy sweat will get on your dick and you'll absorb some of the roll too. By the time you cum 4 minutes in you should be rolling too.

No bullshit.

[Joshiwa]

There are a few options you could go with here.

1) Tell her your feelings and see how she feels about it, it she doesn't feel the same way then it might make your friendship awkward.
2) Ignore your feelings, never tell her and continue to be her freend even thought its killing you inside. Thats if you really want her in your life.
3) You can cut her off from your life.

[Adio]

This was a failed attempt at humor... LOCK PLEASE.

[pointydagger]

You have answered your own question. Kill or rape her and get into her pants that way. Then you can no longer be her friend, and you tapped dat ass.

[Shadow4102]

At 8/28/08 12:25 AM, Lagerkapo wrote: Or better yet, a few grams of Molly powder. (Pure MDMA)

A tenth of a gram will make you ROLL.

She'll fall in love and you'll have the best sex AVER. And as an added bonus, her pussy sweat will get on your dick and you'll absorb some of the roll too. By the time you cum 4 minutes in you should be rolling too.

No bullshit.

i want a molly pill so bad, i hate the bases in ecstasy, i want it pure dammit!

[Lagerkapo]

At 8/28/08 12:27 AM, Shadow4102 wrote: i want a molly pill so bad, i hate the bases in ecstasy, i want it pure dammit!

Man, I got a capsule with less than a tenth last week at a party for $20. I thought I got ripped off until I was STILL rolling the next day.

OP: My ACTUAL advice would be to open up to her. You can never get anything if you never try to get it. Don't come on to her, just let her know how you feel and that if she doesn't feel the same way, it's ok. Tell her that it won't change anything between you and that you won't make any moves at all unless she wants it.

It might get uncomfortable for a bit if she doesn't feel the same about you, but if your friendship is as legit as it sounds it shouldn't derail it.

Like I said, if you never try, you'll never succeed.

[SpammyMcGee]

Suck my dick.

[Ghost-Ryder]

At 8/28/08 12:25 AM, Joshiwa wrote: There are a few options you could go with here.

3) You can cut her off from your life.

Only one that works...trust me.

[Shadow4102]

At 8/28/08 12:31 AM, Lagerkapo wrote:

At 8/28/08 12:27 AM, Shadow4102 wrote: i want a molly pill so bad, i hate the bases in ecstasy, i want it pure dammit!

Man, I got a capsule with less than a tenth last week at a party for $20. I thought I got ripped off until I was STILL rolling the next day.

the first time i rolled on ex, it was a meth-based pill and i rolled for 36 hours, i just hate the fact that there was meth in my pill, i didn't know untill after i took it of course

[Lagerkapo]

Sorry about the double, but I left out the part about how to pull it off.

When you tell her, don't make it out like you're doing it to get her, make it out like you feel you guys have a good friendship and that you don't feel right decieving her. You feel like you should be completely honest and that she has the right to know how you feel.

Again, you're not trying to get her, you're being honest. Usually works well, because if she's into it, you're in, and if not you weren't coming on to her, you were being honest as a friend and girls tend to be OK with that.

[TheBoyOfAges]

I've gone through a similar situation. I did end up back with her, but before everything got better we did have a friends with benefits moments. Before so I just talked to her about stuff and thanks to that we had a real moment and got back together. Oh and she was the one who call back first :D

Just try to be fun and good friend if she likes it that way tough luck, but if she sees why she really liked you then you better hope your ass off.

Nothing ventured; nothing earned.

[Postcount]

At 8/28/08 12:26 AM, Adio wrote: This was a failed attempt at humor... LOCK PLEASE.

I'm confused.

[Lagerkapo]

At 8/28/08 12:26 AM, Adio wrote: This was a failed attempt at humor... LOCK PLEASE.

If "so I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is aku" didn't give it away...

[MultiCanimefan]

You sir, have just been FRIEND ZONED! I like the company, so welcome to the ranks :D

[chi-master08]

Jesus people, clearly he was trying to get some laughs out of this, and you have not delivered.

You assholes.

[Grammar-Nazi]

I've been there before.... (still am)

Actually, I'm going to me ex's house tomorrow.

[NinjaPirateMaster]

At 8/28/08 12:18 AM, Adio wrote:

I can't help but like her because shes one of the few females who associates with me at all, and not that im terrible looking, but i have the figure of a woman and little no muscle,

Lemme guess, figure of a woman? Man boobs, huh?