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Every conversation with my burnout stoner friends I've ever had.

"I think socialism could work."

"I'm gonna kill all the Christians and force a new age of open-mindedness."

That was my exes statement. I will never forget that.

I work at a full-serve gas station/auto shop kinda place, and I get some of the dumbest fcking people on the planet coming through here.

"Which one do I pull for the gas cover?"
"The one with a picture of a gas pump on it."

"Cash or credit?"
"Cash- no WAIT! Credit! No wait debt! Actually, you know what just make it cash."

"Is it bad if there's no more oil left in my car?"

I remember last year my friend either said his greatest statement or dumbest one..

We were walking to McDonalds, about 20 minutes away. As we're walking he looks at the cars speeding by when he says "Wow, when you're in a car you get to McDonalds much faster then when you walk there. I should invent Rocket Boots."

Yay or Nay?

Ok two days ago I got a Hard Drive for my Xbox 360, then my Mom asked me about it.

Mom-"Where does the Hard Drive go?"

Me- "On the top of it."

Mom- "Then where does the CD's go then?"

I told my Mom that where you put the CD's at are on the side, not the front. I did get a laugh out of that after it.

A kid who was either Canadian or American once asked me "So what language do you guys speak in England?", I thought that was pretty dense.

At the first job I had, I was a washer-upper at a restaurant, and the head chef goes to me, "So what bands do you like?"
I respond, "Slipknot."
He goes, "Oh yeah, Slipknot, they're the ones who kill goats aren't they?"

One time I was stood outside of this cigar shop in Leeds (I was waiting for my girlfriend who was in Primark) and a couple of chavs come up to me. One of them looks at me and just goes, "Is the a Pizza Hut?" You read that right. "Is the a Pizza Hut?" I think he was asking if there was a Pizza Hut somewhere, but I'll never know.

At 8/27/08 02:58 PM, yurgenburgen wrote: One time I was stood outside of this cigar shop in Leeds (I was waiting for my girlfriend who was in Primark) and a couple of chavs come up to me. One of them looks at me and just goes, "Is the a Pizza Hut?" You read that right. "Is the a Pizza Hut?" I think he was asking if there was a Pizza Hut somewhere, but I'll never know.

Maybe he just had a thick, shitty chavish accent and was trying to say "there" instead of "the".

At 8/27/08 03:04 PM, Seamus942 wrote: Maybe he just had a thick, shitty chavish accent and was trying to say "there" instead of "the".

That's a possibility, but even if that were the case, his question still made little sense. "Is there a Pizza Hut?" What the hell am I supposed to say in response to that? "Yeah, there are Pizza Huts. Loads of them. It's one of the benefits of international franchises; that they exist."

Walking down the street with my friend he say " I wonder if coke zero has any calories"

At 8/27/08 02:58 PM, yurgenburgen wrote:

stuff

Those are wins.

A friend of mine worked in computer support for a place. Told me about all sorts of idiotic behavior. Like:

Folding a 5 1/4" floppy in half because it wouldn't fit in the 3 1/2" drive.

"Do you blow through a guitar or hit it?"

Fucking morons...

I had a discussion with my brother over how many kilobytes one megabyte is...
He kept saying that it was 1000, and that 1024 wouldn't make any sense.

Just remembered this one.

I work in a shop, and as you would expect, people approach me and ask if we sell certain items or whatever. It's all good, I can take it. So I'm working in one of the sections, cleaning or something, and suddenly I hear the following roared from above me:

"ARIAL!"

I look up and there's a guy stood there who looks like Jack from "Father Ted". I look at him as if to say "Huh?" He takes a deep breath.

"HAAARIAL!"

I say, "Ariel? The clothes washing powder? Nah we don't have that."

"GHARIAL!"

"You mean TV arials?"

"ARIAL! ARIAL!"

I realise he's talking about television arials, which we do sell. So I take him to the electronics section and point at them. He just frowns at them and grunts. And that was it.

At 8/27/08 02:37 PM, Seamus942 wrote: Every conversation with my burnout stoner friends I've ever had.

"I think socialism could work."

Britain, Spain, and several other european countries are socialist and are doing fine...

At 8/27/08 01:04 PM, Slayer3751 wrote: It's not stupid if you don't know something. It's just, not having knowledge.

It's called ignorance.

At 8/27/08 04:23 PM, HaniiPuppy wrote: Britain, Spain, and several other european countries are socialist and are doing fine...

I believe we were having a conversation on world-wide socialism with one "Big Brother". I just remember wanting to slap whoever said that in the face.

Well, my friend's X was so stupid she said, she thought the balls were on top of the penis, and lions were in the canine family!

"whats a livestock?"
-a different girl that should be shot into the sun

At 8/27/08 11:39 AM, shadowofyou wrote:

"Can you get a virus from your computer?"

I think that disserves its own paragraph more than anything. So anyway, after you recover reading that, what is the stupid thing people have told you?

I got the Ebola virus from my computer. It are suckiest.

Thinking back, this is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever said.

Friend: "You need a key to use the elevator!"
Me: "Well how did we use it the first time?"

At 8/28/08 12:45 AM, Peaceblossom wrote: Thinking back, this is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever said.

Friend: "You need a key to use the elevator!"
Me: "Well how did we use it the first time?"

So... you used an elevator that required no key one way, and a key the other way??

The dumbest thing I've said was last year when my brother was drinking my hot chocolate, right when he was drinking it I said "If you drink that you better not!"
Or this year when I was at my friends party someone said something about their junk (the dirty meaning) and I blurted out "Why do they call it junk? I wouldn't throw it away"

Mind you I was drunk when I said that last one

I can't think of the stupidest things I've ever heard but I know the funniest

Guy #1 "Look at the boobs on that babe!"
Guy #2 "Yea there huge!"
I bet your thinking thats not that funny eh? Well guy #1 and #2 they were frking SEVEN YEARS OLD!! That's right SEVEN!

wait i know now! I remember the dumbest thing i've ever heard,
Friend #1: Man I can't believe it's rained like every day!
Friend #2: Wait, what does Fla-Fla mean?
Friend #3: What?
Friend #1: Fla-Flaw?
Friend #2: Hey don't make fun of my Fla-Fla!!
True story

i did not had a sexual relationship with this women

i think we all know were that came from

I was in my basement with a few friends and I have a poster of Samuel L Jackson from Snakes on a Plane saying his famous line, and one of my friends (obviously a girl) says, "Hey, why do you have a picture of Denzel Washington?" I don't know if she she's ignorant/racist, or just that stupid.

At 8/28/08 12:58 AM, videogamer0810 wrote:

At 8/28/08 12:45 AM, Peaceblossom wrote: Thinking back, this is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever said.

Friend: "You need a key to use the elevator!"
Me: "Well how did we use it the first time?"

So... you used an elevator that required no key one way, and a key the other way??

No, we obviously used a key to get up the first time. I just didn't realize it when I asked the question.

The stupidest thing I heard someone say was Sherri Sheperd on The View. Now I don't watch the View at all but this show the Soup brought this to my attention. <3 The Soup!Sherri Sheperd on The View

Two words...
"Mission Accomplished"