Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

It's an alright day today and me and my good friends Tom and Steve are on our xbox's all happy and merry. Steve says
"Fuck this shit let's go out and play football". (Soccer by the way) Now I'm a big fan of going out and playing football, We just happen to live in a pretty shitty area. Lot's of dodgy people yada yada. Reluctantly I say fine so we all head down to the local football cage thingy. (Basically 2 goals with a fence around the perimeter). I arrive first living less then a minute away and see Steve just coming in from one of the other entrances.

So the park is a big grass area with the blackspot in one corner furthest from my house. I trundle over to Steve and see my friend Tom coming form the other side on his bike. We have a kick about playing a game called 1 on 1 where basically you have to stay in your half of the football pitch and kick at there goal yada yada. Then a couple of lads from a year or 2 below me (I'm 15 in year 11) show up and sit over at the benches. This is when the shit hit the fan.

I know kids from the years below me because I did about 2 weeks work experience in my middle school. now basically I don't trust anyone around this area. They're all dodgy people. So even 2 little midgets could end up being trouble. So firstly I play along still keeping an ear open for anything they say. One of 'em calls some of his mates to come down for some reason, just to have a kick about I presume. Then one of them calls me "Mr. Wells" which I simply assumes he remembers me from my work experience, and he seems to have a cocky attitude. This kid gets a bit of lip going so I just reply "Yeah whatever" and try and get on with my game. then there little pal shows up.

A fucking 12 year old who strutting around like he's king of the world. I remember this kid from my time at work recently. A fucking cunt. Spoil little brat, Fucking deserves to get slapped.

I get out in our little game and rest up on the side of the cage waiting again for my turn. This little kid who I will refer to as "Cuntface" comes up to me.
"Hello Mr. Wells" He says in a sarcastic tone. fuck off I think to myself.
"Hello" I reply, not exactly pleased to see him.
"Fucking dick head" he replies. I just look at cunface.
"That's rich isn't it." I snap back. Getting up from leaning on the fence.
"Bet you are rich" he replies obviously not getting the comment.
"Oh yeah you little shit, Money dripping out my fucking ballsack" I grimace at him.
"This your coat" he smirks "and your bike?" as he moves towards my friend Tom's bike resting on the floor.
"Nope sonny" I growl back at him.
"Think I'll be having a ride." he says. So as he throws off my friends coat and sits on the bike preparing to ride off I put my hand on his shoulder.
"I think you should get off that." I say coolly to him.
"No!" He screeches. as he tries to brush away my harm. I harden my grip.
"It's not yours little man, Its his. Now get off" I say sternly.
"I'm not fucking getting off!" He squeals like a little piggy. He then has the nerve to try and throw a punch at me. I block it with my other hand.
"Off you get laddy" I pick the 12 year old up under his armpit with one arm. He tries to struggle away but I just pull him off the bike thinking I've done my friend a favour. Then I hear my friends bike crash to the ground and a big smash. I let go of cuntface. Looking at who will be refereed to as "Dicklips" He's kicked my mates bike over and smashed the reflectors on the front.
"What the fuck!?" I shout at him as my friend just comes back from retrieving the ball.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Dicklips looks at the floor behind me.

I turn around and see I dropped cuntface at high-speed head first into a pole. Woops. And some glass. Woops. Suddenly cuntface isn't as cocky as he was a bit ago. In fact cuntface is on the floor in tears. the bawling 12 year old stands up with his hand on his head to his other mate who's at the benches. and Dicklips tags along. There pally already had a mobile flipped open. Oh fucking fantastic I think. dicklips shouts at me.
"Why did you throw cuntface at a pole?!"
"He shouldn't pikey other people's bike snow should he!" I shout back. I'm thinking I should definetely make my way back now. But I'll look a terrible culprit, and a pussy if I run off having just brought a 12 year old, a cuntface, but a 12 year old nonetheless to tears. so I keep my cool muttering to my friends I could be a bit bollocked now. Then I hear from Dicklips. "He's just smashed Cuntface into a pole for no reason, come and get him!" Awww shit... (If you read this far type your favourite candy into your reply.)

That other kid happens to be one of those. I have a massive brother and cousin who know everyone you bastard kind of children.
"Well I'm off boys" I say to my friends making my way to the side exit knowing I could have the whole chav armada after me. And guess what. 2 chavs in my year and about 5 20 year olds appear over the hill near to me. Double fuck...

I take off to the exit to my left at full speed. hearing 'get the cunt over my shoulder' as I assume about 4 guys started pelting after me. I ran down the street pulling out my keys hearing footsteps and more shouts behind me. I ran down the alley about 100 ft from my dads house. I keep pelting catching a glimpse of 2 other guys who cut me off at the exit I originally arrived through. 'please be open door, please be open door' I think to myself. I smash at my door and twist the handle. 'thank fuck' I think as I lock and double bolt the door. That's not the end of that though.

I dive into the living room where my sister is panting...
"WHERE'S DAD?!" I shouted. Thinking I could be trapped in a small house with the fucking chav nazi party swarming us with nothing but my sister to lend a hand.
"Upstairs. Why what's wrong?!" She replies.
"Oh thank fucking God" I muttered. "DAD!" I yell as thumps start to hit the door. "Might need a wee hand here" I continue.
"Whats happend!?" he says heading to the fuckers bashing on my door.
"DON'T OPEN IT!" I shout. "They want my fucking blood by the looks of it." My Dad then strolls into the kitchen and pulls his heavy duty torch. AKA "subtle burgular basher" out and stands at the door.
"Can I help you kiddies?" He said cooly.
"We just want to talk to your son" The 20 year old says thinking my Dad's some sort of a retard.
"Oh yeah, Off you jog mate before I call the cops."
"No we ain't budgin'" He replies.
"Okie Dokie" My Dad say's reaching for the phone and dials 999.

Knowing what was obviously happening I decided to check all the possible ways in knowing how fucking sneaky these pikeys can be. Lord and behold some of the fuckers have jumped the backfence to go up to the conservatory. Unfortunately for them. It was the wrong fence. so my neighbours were unfortunate enough to have a bunch of chavs bashing on their conservatory door. I thought it was pretty funny. they were pretty shocked when some skinhead Australian came out with a baseball bat. (If you read this far explain why, No idea what I'm talking about? Read back some more)

Anyway being distinctly worried as to my faces future and being a bit shook up on narrowly missing being rugby tackled by a drunk pikey 20 year old. I explained to the police arrived what happend. They went out and spoke to dicklips and cuntface. The cop saying to me as soona s i mentioned cuntface's name.
"Awww that chubby little twit." Cuntface got taken home and done for some other police related thing he did. Now I'm a bit paranoid to leave the house, Seeing how quickly dicklips managed to get about 50 people to swarm me and my house. God knows where I'm currently on the grand chav hit list. Knowing this little cuntface will inevitably have a bigger brother or cousin or something. Suppose I'll lay low for a few days and hope I don't get stabbed next time I want to go to ASDA. Wish me luck?

Well I'm fucked if I go anywhere and show my face. and school starts in a fortnight...

Any tips or suggestions besides fighting, Because that'll be a 1 on 20. And oh yeah If you read all that you deserve a fucking medal.

Wow I typed every single available character. Longest post ever by me.

why did you dial 999?

At 8/18/08 06:02 PM, Scuzzfest wrote:

Any tips or suggestions besides fighting, Because that'll b (Quote cut off lol)

Don't worry about it, because chances are nothing will happen.

At 8/18/08 06:04 PM, Thechickensparta wrote: why did you dial 999?

North america and others = 911

Europe and others = 999

At 8/18/08 06:05 PM, Thimbles wrote:

At 8/18/08 06:04 PM, Thechickensparta wrote: why did you dial 999?

North america and others = 911

Europe and others = 999

alrighty,

At 8/18/08 06:04 PM, Thechickensparta wrote: why did you dial 999?

thats a pretty fuckin retarded thing to ask

i just asumed every1 knew the difference

well i read ALL of that =|

erm theres not really an easy solution to chavs.

a similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago, but unluckily for the chavs who came to kick the shit out of us, it was in my area, and I know the county rugby and football teams, so it ended badly for those pikeys.

just try and stay out of their way matey

ffs, toughen up boy, and just avoid em, stop walking around scared, they'll prey on you if you are

Lol wow kid you are a fucking faggot..

I read it all, Go me. I have had similar dealings with chavs, you won't get stabbed, mate.

At 8/18/08 06:12 PM, snapper5 wrote: ffs, toughen up boy, and just avoid em,

That's a bit contradictive...

At 8/18/08 06:12 PM, snapper5 wrote: ffs, toughen up boy, and just avoid em, stop walking around scared, they'll prey on you if you are

you clearly dont know how a chav's mindset works.

its either fight them or avoid them.

Next time you go out bring a gun, because the police will stop you for carrying a knife.

lemonheads, they own

twix

lol you are so fucked. it sucks that you dont have more friends.

if i were you id stay close to teachers.

and carry a knife.

Damn yo, I'd be less scared of the kids wanting to beat me up than the fact that they know where you live and can fuck your shit up in the middle of the night.
Shouldn't have ran to your house...then again, I would've left those kids in the dust.

I've had those kinds of confrontations more than once, up to the part where the cowards call for backup, anyways. It just gets me raging to punch someone like there's no tomorrow.

(If you read this far type your favourite candy into your reply.)

Wonder bar

(If you read this far explain why, No idea what I'm talking about? Read back some more)

I felt like reading something.

wow man thats intense,

lol I love the word fortnight, I never use it enough

(kitkat chunky)

... Wow.

But, that could have probably been avoided if you had just left the field with all of your possessions as soon as they showed up, if you really didn't want to deal with those little cunts.

Mr. Goodbar.

This is what is wrong with Britian, little kids who no EVERYONE and the minute you threaten them you have the whole fucking estate on you. At least they aren't smart, did that Australian get a bash at them?

also M&M's

Similar thing happened to a friend at school, teachers could do fuck all about it, till he pushed the chav kid up against the wall, the chav kids big brother came round and beat him up, and so he had an excuse, went to the police, and now they're not allowed within 25m of him outside of school.

I LOL'D.

Maybe it's just over in the US, but we don't have a chav problem over here. Kids like that just get their ass kicked from day one, they don't even have friends to back them up. Plus I rarely go anywhere with less than 5 kids with me unless I'm with my family. I usually roll with about 10 or more kids, but not for protection, just because we have a very large, but tight group of friends. Proves useful though when you get into problems with kids like you did...we just brawl them.

Don't be so paranoid, man. I'm sure they're not going to do shit to you.

I want my medal.

At 8/18/08 06:02 PM, Scuzzfest wrote:

Well I'm fucked if I go anywhere and show my face. and school starts in a fortnight...

Just get your friends to follow you around. And yes, I read it all. And no, I won't post my favorite candy, or whatever the hell the other thing was. But seriously. Just carry a knife, and have some friends.

At 8/18/08 06:22 PM, gibleto wrote:

At 8/18/08 06:02 PM, Scuzzfest wrote:

Well I'm fucked if I go anywhere and show my face. and school starts in a fortnight...

Just get your friends to follow you around. And yes, I read it all. And no, I won't post my favorite candy, or whatever the hell the other thing was. But seriously. Just carry a knife, and have some friends.

If you carry a knife you are 101% more likely to be stabbed.
According to the police.

Yeah.

At 8/18/08 06:15 PM, Tiago11103 wrote: and carry a knife.

NO.

This is why people get stabbed. If thre is one person without a knife it usually ends with the person without the knife backing down,

When two people have knives male pride comes into play and someone ends up being killed.

At 8/18/08 06:22 PM, gibleto wrote: Just carry a knife

Wave a knife at a chav and you will regret it.

For a LONG time.

*Fave Candy* - *Reason why*

This happens to people often, the stupid bastards will forget soon enough, they're not the most intelligent of people, just try not to attract attention.

And try not to lose your temper with that little shit if he ever opens his semen riddled mouth again.

when that happend, i swung a pipe i had in my backpack ( i was coming home from school) and i just saw this huge ( atleast 50) group of them . i took out the pipe and used it as a battering ram ( i kept swinging at them, i didnt hit any but they stayed away fro me then on.

At 8/18/08 06:24 PM, BananaBreadMuffin wrote:

At 8/18/08 06:22 PM, gibleto wrote: Just carry a knife

Wave a knife at a chav and you will regret it.

For a LONG time.

You could just hire an Aussie with a bigger knife.

You call that a knife?