God the dark knight sucked

[Alastor]

I know there are 100 threads already about how awesome it is. Sorry i have to disagree. Here is why.

When film historians look back on the most disappointing movies of all time, The Dark Knight will sit atop that list. I saw it a few nights ago, and rarely has such a highly anticipated work of art managed to fail on so many levels.

Before I get too deep into the review, I have to warn you: spoilers lie ahead. It's not worth your ten dollars, but if you do insist on punishing yourself and you wish to remain spoiler-free, read no further.

I gave it a shot. I really tried to enjoy it. Batman Begins is one of my favorite movies of all time. Unfortunately, Knight doesn't manage to hit on all cylinders like its predecessor. What went wrong?

The plot is razor thin. The story centers around Bruce Wayne's conflicting identities, and how that plays into his battle with the maniacal Joker. Good set up, right? So, you know what the Joker's diabolical plan entails? You know what this evil genius has come up with as a way to corrupt Gotham City?

A pyramid scheme.

Are you fucking serious? As soon as Joker told Batman that he could make up to $5,000 a month working from home, they lost me.

Oh, and why advertise Aaron Eckhardt as Two-Face when you know damn well that Thomas Jane is playing the role?

The story arc was totally disjointed. After Joker is killed at about the 27 minute mark, Bruce Wayne kicks back in his barcalounger with a Mr. Pibb while watching M*A*S*H. This continues uninterrupted for about three minutes. Then, in walks Alfred with perhaps the best example of the film's heinous dialogue:

ALFRED: Master Bruce, I'm afraid I have some bad news.

BRUCE: What is it, Alfred?

ALFRED: It's Catwoman sir, she...she's dead.

BRUCE: Oh sweet Jesus...I can't believe she's gone. I feel so...cold and alone.

ALFRED: Death is cruel, Master Bruce. May I suggest a matinee showing of Disney/Pixar's WALL*E to buoy your spirits?

BRUCE: A-Town...you scratch me right where I itch!

That's the next two hours of the film...Bruce and Alfred watching WALL*E. As bad as the scene is, it's made worse by several onlookers loudly asking, "Hey, isn't that Michael Caine?"

After WALL*E is over, Michael Caine suggests they hit up a "Gotham City dick bar." The film's final act culminates with Caine and Bale drinking a bucket full of Coronas at a gay club. The only semi-interesting thing that happens is when they run into actor Robert Wuhl. Once Wuhl figures out what's going on, he attempts to recreate his Knox character from the 1989 Batman, until Caine gives him a 20 and tells him to get lost.

It really hurts me to write this review, but I had to be honest. Sorry if anybody had their hopes up.

[TrevX9]

Well thought out and contemplative troll is interesting.

[KalebKore]

I agree to some extent, but it wasn't the worst.

[Bryan]

It was pretty good in my opinion.

[Jenou]

The dark night is amazing. It is Heath Ledger's best performance ever; in fact it is one of the best performances by any actor ever. Saying it sucked is wrong.

[Blaze-Heatnix]

EVERY MOTHERFUCKING TIME someone says "The Dark Knight" someone talks about Heath Ledger. He was a great actor, but he did NOT make the movie.

[EvilerBowser1001]

At 7/27/08 03:35 AM, Jenou wrote: The dark night is amazing. It is Heath Ledger's best performance ever; in fact it is one of the best performances by any actor ever. Saying it sucked is wrong.

Someone did not read the whole original post.

[Dragonos]

At 7/27/08 03:29 AM, Alastor wrote: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah... Blah.

You almost had me you bastard. I really walked into this hoping to get a different perspective on the movie, but your switch into the troll part wasn't abrupt enough to catch me off guard.

Nice attempt though.

[cast]

Yeah, that's basically how the movie went, what a piece of shit.

[homor]

REBELION ROCKS!

I'M GONNA GO REFUSE TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH AND CALL MY MOMMY A BAD NAME NOW!

yeah!

[Bikko]

I got a good laugh out of that.

Well played, sir.

[MadCow]

At 7/27/08 03:33 AM, 61 wrote: It was pretty good in my opinion.
At 7/27/08 03:35 AM, Jenou wrote: The dark night is amazing. It is Heath Ledger's best performance ever; in fact it is one of the best performances by any actor ever. Saying it sucked is wrong.

i also didnt read this topic before posting. alastor ur a dumass dark night wuz da best movie i ever saw u a******!!!

[TwistedPersonality]

The movie itself was OK.

The joker...there are no words to describe his awesomeness.

[Conker125]

Finally someone who explained the plot correctly!! Everyone going on about shit like "Joker crashing the party" and "Batman on a motorcycle." BS!!!

[Peacekid]

FYI Alastor is banning everyone who doesn't read it

[DarkLordGhost]

well it wasnt like... seeing Batman & Robin with Michael Jackson. Two horrible things and both mixed! Oh god! Well anyway, i have to disagree with you! I thought it was a good movie! I admit that the Joker should of just jumped off the building at the end because the actor (Heath Ledger) died so I think the next movie is going to be one of the other enemies (imagine Jack Nicholson being the same joker in The Dark Knight)!

Sorry for sort of goofing off but the point is, why go threw all that crap to say 1 simple thing, You Hated it1

[Sekhem]

I've watched it three times already, hell yeah.

[Nikita90876]

Fuck what you say, I watched and ,millions other did and they loved it. If you don't know a good movie don't fuck up a good saturday knight for everyone else saying the movie sucked.

[DarkLordGhost]

At 7/27/08 07:03 AM, Sekhem wrote: I've watched it three times already, hell yeah.

It was freakin awesome!

[UnknownFear]

At 7/27/08 03:35 AM, Blaze-Heatnix wrote: EVERY MOTHERFUCKING TIME someone says "The Dark Knight" someone talks about Heath Ledger. He was a great actor, but he did NOT make the movie.

Your right. He did not make the movie, but his performance has the Joker was the BEST Joker performance!! He killed Nicholson's role by a long shot.

[positively-negative]

The fact that the "big name star" died is the only reason this movie will be remembered. The simple fact is that the movie shit won't come out in the mainstream till well after everyone starts going "Heath Who?"

[WilliWowza]

Gotham City Dick Bar

[Lost-Wisdom]

At 7/27/08 07:11 AM, UnknownFear wrote:

At 7/27/08 03:35 AM, Blaze-Heatnix wrote: EVERY MOTHERFUCKING TIME someone says "The Dark Knight" someone talks about Heath Ledger. He was a great actor, but he did NOT make the movie.

Your right. He did not make the movie, but his performance has the Joker was the BEST Joker performance!! He killed Nicholson's role by a long shot.

Heath Ledger made The Joker personality come alive and it really made me feel what he was going through.

[UnknownFear]

At 7/27/08 07:36 AM, Lost-Wisdom wrote: Heath Ledger made The Joker personality come alive and it really made me feel what he was going through.

I felt the same way. I was in "awe" every time he played his part. It was unbelievable how good his roles were.

[ismellarat]

I motion to remove Alastor's modship, all in favour? I feel like I have lost 30 IQ points just for reading this atrocious piece of troll shit.

I thought Dark Knight was amazing, and was looking forward to some intelligent points on the contrare, but instead I get a wanker whose Newgrounds favourite was easier to access than his /b/ favourite and so posted his garbage here.
You aren't funny Alastor, kindly go watch 2 and a Half Men with your mongoloid friends.

[Nikita90876]

At 7/27/08 07:45 AM, ismellarat wrote: I motion to remove Alastor's modship, all in favour? I feel like I have lost 30 IQ points just for reading this atrocious piece of troll shit.


You aren't funny Alastor, kindly go watch 2 and a Half Men with your mongoloid friends.

HaJAHAHAHAH I fucking agree, retards who dislike batman don't deserve to be mods

[dogpup4]

I thought it was an okay movie but it wasn't as good as I anticipated.

[Alastor]

You guys are terrible

[Sun-Wukong]

Good one. Seriously though, people need to read the entire post. What was your real opinion on the movie?

[Alastor]

At 7/27/08 05:00 PM, Sun-Wukong wrote: Good one. Seriously though, people need to read the entire post. What was your real opinion on the movie?

Thought it was amazing