The Official Joke Thread

[Chozz]

Share you jokes peeps, try not to make TOO dirty haha

I'll start.

3 Nuns walk up to the Superior Nun, and say that they no longer want to be Nuns. The superior Nun replies, with such shock

'That is blasphemous, but in order to do so, you must each go away, and commit a Sin and then come back and drink from the Holy water. It is then you will no longer be a nun'

So the Nuns walk away, curious of what sins to commit.
The Nuns return the next day to the Superior Nun, and take it in turn to speak there sin and drink from the Holy water.

The Superior Nun asks the first nun of her sin, and the nun replies "I stole a childs bike", she drinks from the holy water and is no longer a nun.

The second Nun Replies "I had sex with a married man", of to which the Superior Nun replies "That is blasphemous, drink from the holy water and you are no longer a Nun", she drinks the Holy Water and is no longer a nun.

The superior Nun then asks the third Nun of what her sin is, the third Nun replies..

"I pissed in the Holy Water"

[DxCel]

I remember when my English teacher had this shit I was not seeing every Friday for several photos with the projector in hihihihi and when accessing the page on google search of a fish photos And he did it find fish photos and ball cock hahahaha photos is massive destruction Here computer porn blocked and kept in a loop 5 groups there hahahahaha and she didnt notice it

[Ghyfty]

At 7/26/08 06:56 AM, DxCel wrote: I assrape the language i don't even know how to use.

That's not funny. At all.

[ofestion1]

very good, i like the dirty ones so here's one (do not read if you are an uptight person going to freak out because of sexual humor)

One day a blonde walks into a dry-cleaners to have her clothes cleaned and asks "how much would it cost me to have my sweater cleaned?"

The dry cleaner obviously didnt hear her and asks "come again?"

The blonde replies "no, it's just mustard this time"

the other dirty joke i want to tell i'll just provide a link to, this sight may have porn/ things you dont want to see, so go at your own risk if you even care, which you probably dont...

it's called The Loaded Gun

you might have heard of it, it's my favorite joke to tell at a party

[megaepiclulz]

I got a good one:

This thread

[Sekhem]

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Q: Why did the atoms cross the road?
A: It was time to split!

Q: What do you do when your chair breaks?
A: Call a Chairman.

Q: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
A: Because it's too cold out tide!

Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world?
A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

[banchy44]

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Jeff.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

"I kicked her in the face."

[Chozz]

At 7/26/08 07:05 AM, ofestion1 wrote: very good, i like the dirty ones so here's one (do not read if you are an uptight person going to freak out because of sexual humor)

One day a blonde walks into a dry-cleaners to have her clothes cleaned and asks "how much would it cost me to have my sweater cleaned?"

The dry cleaner obviously didnt hear her and asks "come again?"

The blonde replies "no, it's just mustard this time"

the other dirty joke i want to tell i'll just provide a link to, this sight may have porn/ things you dont want to see, so go at your own risk if you even care, which you probably dont...

it's called The Loaded Gun

you might have heard of it, it's my favorite joke to tell at a party

Haha nice. I'll get my 2 of my blonde ones out the way:

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
The brick won't follow you home once you've laid it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
The mosquito will stop sucking when you've slapped it!

[DxCel]

At 7/26/08 07:02 AM, ghyfty wrote:

At 7/26/08 06:56 AM, DxCel wrote: I assrape the language i don't even know how to use.

DxC is gay. At all.

;'( why do u treat me like a whore

[DxCel]

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[EyeLovePoozy]

No joke threads.

lol official....