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How to get a girl to suck your dick

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cherries
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How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:19 AM Reply

Steps:
1) get a girlfriend.
2) repeat this exact phrase: "bitch, suck my dick."
3) ???????
4) PROFIT! ;)

inb4 9,001 views
Lagatag
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:21 AM Reply

Alternatively, slip something "special" in her drink.


bro at me come

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cherries
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:22 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:21 AM, Lagatag wrote: Alternatively, slip something "special" in her drink.

And by "special" you mean your penis, am I correct?

CryogenChaos
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:22 AM Reply

Alternatively, ask her if your hankerchief smells like chloroform.

cherries
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:23 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:22 AM, CryogenChaos wrote: Alternatively, ask her if your hankerchief smells like chloroform.

And by "hankerchief" you mean your penis, am I correct?

Powdar
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:23 AM Reply

Get a girlfriend.
Progress with her.
Ask her if she ever would. If yes, proceed to step 4.
Get intimate.
Get sucked.


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cherries
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:24 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get intimate.

Oh I see you're a virgin, how's that going for you?

LazyDrunk
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:24 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:19 AM, cherries wrote: Steps:
1) get a girlfriend.

Check.

2) repeat this exact phrase: "bitch, suck my dick."

Bitch of course is merely a generic form of the bitch's name, for the NGers who take it literally.

Check.

3) ???????

Acquiesce to her pussy-eating proposition, preferably in the 69er.

4) PROFIT! ;)

inb4 9,001 views

A guide to live by, folks.


We gladly feast upon those who would subdue us.

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Powdar
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:26 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:24 AM, cherries wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get intimate.
Oh I see you're a virgin, how's that going for you?

Did you just make a funny?


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TheWolfe
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:26 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get a girlfriend.
Progress with her.
Ask her if she ever would. If yes, proceed to step 4.
Get intimate.
Get sucked.

My gf's cousin forced her to suck his dick 6 months ago, and now shes traumatized, and she wont suck my dick...

=(


RAWR.

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onibabanana
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:27 AM Reply

how mean and rude >.<

onibabanana
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:29 AM Reply

i like how the climax of your girlfriends cousin forcing her to suck his dick is that, now she wont suck yours. boo hoo.

jamboreen
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:31 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:26 AM, TheWolfe wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get a girlfriend.
Progress with her.
Ask her if she ever would. If yes, proceed to step 4.
Get intimate.
Get sucked.
My gf's cousin forced her to suck his dick 6 months ago, and now shes traumatized, and she wont suck my dick...

=(

LMFAO, man that chick is so fucking smart, coming up with that story she'll never have to suck a dick again.

TheWolfe
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:33 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:31 AM, jamboreen wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:26 AM, TheWolfe wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get a girlfriend.
Progress with her.
Ask her if she ever would. If yes, proceed to step 4.
Get intimate.
Get sucked.
My gf's cousin forced her to suck his dick 6 months ago, and now shes traumatized, and she wont suck my dick...

=(
LMFAO, man that chick is so fucking smart, coming up with that story she'll never have to suck a dick again.

yeah, i wish it was fake. i dont really give a shit about blowjobs, im just sad something that horrible happened to her. dont assume why i feel bad, ass.
i wish i could do something, but she doesnt want to tell anyone. wth could i do.


RAWR.

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Wtfpwn
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:34 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:22 AM, cherries wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:21 AM, Lagatag wrote: Alternatively, slip something "special" in her drink.
And by "special" you mean your penis, am I correct?

and by her "drink" you mean?

Blysk
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:35 AM Reply


LMFAO, man that chick is so fucking smart, coming up with that story she'll never have to suck a dick again.

You are so wrong because of the fact that she sucked my dick.

Oh yah....
jamboreen
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:37 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:33 AM, TheWolfe wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:31 AM, jamboreen wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:26 AM, TheWolfe wrote:
At 7/25/08 01:23 AM, Powdar wrote: Get a girlfriend.
Progress with her.
Ask her if she ever would. If yes, proceed to step 4.
Get intimate.
Get sucked.
My gf's cousin forced her to suck his dick 6 months ago, and now shes traumatized, and she wont suck my dick...

=(
LMFAO, man that chick is so fucking smart, coming up with that story she'll never have to suck a dick again.
yeah, i wish it was fake. i dont really give a shit about blowjobs, im just sad something that horrible happened to her. dont assume why i feel bad, ass.
i wish i could do something, but she doesnt want to tell anyone. wth could i do.

Get the Cousin thrown in jail, im positive that constitutes as rape. Sadly nowadays its the victim who is really on trial during a situation like that, i wish i could fast track all those sick bastards straight to hell with the death penalty, some of the things i've had to help deal with.

TheWolfe
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:41 AM Reply

she doesnt want to tell anyone. wth could i do.

Get the Cousin thrown in jail, im positive that constitutes as rape. Sadly nowadays its the victim who is really on trial during a situation like that, i wish i could fast track all those sick bastards straight to hell with the death penalty, some of the things i've had to help deal with.'

I know exactly what you mean. But the cousin lives 4 hours away (where she use to live) and its a blowjob, there no evidence. He would merely say she wanted to and the case would be over. In rape, you can have semen tested and such, but even so this happened 6 months ago. Im the only person shes ever told. Shes more concerned with getting a therapist than fucking him over, which i keep telling her to do. If she just told her dad, im sure he'd fuck him up. Thing is, shes embaressed and afraid how people will look at her after they find out. She doesnt think its worth it.


RAWR.

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HeliosStar
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:43 AM Reply

I learned a great technique from my friend buzzwerd.

1. Throw a pillow on the floor

2. hope she's smart enough to get the message.


My work: Deviant art

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Aliensandwich
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:43 AM Reply

4chan IS back up again you know......


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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:45 AM Reply

sorry but you failed dramatically


<a>

Sawke
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:46 AM Reply

It's good to see that newgrounds hasn't lost the romance.

jamboreen
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:47 AM Reply

At 7/25/08 01:41 AM, TheWolfe wrote: I know exactly what you mean. But the cousin lives 4 hours away (where she use to live) and its a blowjob, there no evidence. He would merely say she wanted to and the case would be over. In rape, you can have semen tested and such, but even so this happened 6 months ago. Im the only person shes ever told. Shes more concerned with getting a therapist than fucking him over, which i keep telling her to do. If she just told her dad, im sure he'd fuck him up. Thing is, shes embaressed and afraid how people will look at her after they find out. She doesnt think its worth it.

True lack of evidence is a problem, Bring on the old school justice of a handy lead pipe.

Embarrassed? She was forced to do it, no one would look down upon her, if i had been forced to take it up the ass i wouldn't be too embarrassed, im not gay, being forced into something is like being murdered, you had no power over the situation.

She needs closure, Therapy would do her well.

DarkLordGhost
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:47 AM Reply

and maybe she will call the police and report you. lol, she wont agree if you make her LOL!

TheWolfe
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 01:54 AM Reply

True lack of evidence is a problem, Bring on the old school justice of a handy lead pipe.

Embarrassed? She was forced to do it, no one would look down upon her, if i had been forced to take it up the ass i wouldn't be too embarrassed, im not gay, being forced into something is like being murdered, you had no power over the situation.

She needs closure, Therapy would do her well.

1. shes a girl, of course she has some kind of embaressing, low slef esteem a guy would never understand, i dotn really see the need of therapy now, you can wait a mintue while we try to jail the cousin. thats what im concerned about. how the fuck do we stop him from doing it to other girls?

And guess what, a few weeks ago, i was on her computer and found pics of her naked. But i had never seen them, and they were taken recentely, while we were dating. I asked her and after hours of talking her down, she told me the cousin called her, and threatened to tell the entire family (and extended italian and irish family) that she chose to do sexual things with him, her cousin. So what did she do? She took pics for him, never told me, and a month later after they were taken i found them. I seriously wanted to break up right then and there, but i knew she didnt want to take them. She is just so weak, easily controlled. She needs to stand up for herself. Now the pictures are deleted, not that it matters. Theres no proof he called her, that he threatened her, or the pics were for him at all. Hes a problem, and i dont know how to stop it.


RAWR.

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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 02:25 AM Reply

Wow how very inappropriate


Serious business in here.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not religious. My friend picked my name.

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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 02:26 AM Reply

Ok, first you take her to a really nice EXPENSIVE restaurant. Then tell her you forgot your wallet after everything is said and done, and aske her to pick up the tab. Then you tip the waiter, make sure she sees you. When you get to the car take off your pants, she cant see this part, or else she will think you expect something. On the way home, gently, GENTLY place your hand on the back of her head, and say this "I like your mouth." and smile innocently. Eversosoftly guide her head into your lap, if she struggles, let her free, but then look into her eyes, with a gentle smile and say "Your teeth aren't as white as they could be." And then close your eyes for a moment (I know its risky since you are driving.) and open them back up. Try again, if she struggles let her free and say "Someone wants to give you a kiss..." And smile at her, very softly, almost like a virgin. And then guide her head to your lap once again. If this doesn't work it is to late. You are already at her house. She might say something like "Dont come near me." or "I think you should go." She is just trying to tell you that, you were going to fast, and she wants you to try harder. Lick your lips and tell her "OK." Now this is important. Allow her to exit the car and then drive a block down the road. Park your car. Step out and undress. Place clothing on hood of car. Now slowly approach her home, and let yourself in. QUIETLY she is sleeping and she needs her rest. It is now 2am. You have soiled her rug and she will be upset. Time to mend the wounds first take a dry rag and vigorously rub your defecation. Then leave the rag there. This will show you tried. Go to the oven and turn on the front left burner, all the way, as hot as you can. Get a skillet out, and go to her fridge. This is important. Get all the butter, and cream cheese she owns put it in the skillet, then a bagel and some bread, place those in the skillet. Grab a whole bottle of ketchup and all of her bacon. Procede to place them in the skillet. Now add the skillet to the burner. Leave it alone and go up stairs, be sure to run onto her bad and jump up and down. She will probably be startled as it is 3:45am. Tell her its ok, and that you clean up her house and made her breakfast. She will be hot for you now, hotter than the burner you turned on, and look into her eyes, angrily, with ferocity even. Tell her "YOUR MOUTH IS SO PRETTY IN THE MORNING!" Yell this at the top of your lungs and then procede to get your blowjob...

Its so easy, why doesn't everybody do it you ask? Because they aren't ready to commit to the plan.

I know, I am such a romantic, ladies please, this is a public forum...

TheWolfe
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 02:50 AM Reply

Shes a lieing bitch, shes probably cheating on you with some 37 year old man. Also, she came up with a great lie to not give you head, if she asks you to give her head say "My fatass cousin forced me to give her head 6 months ago and I'm so traumatized I just can't do it".

Your bitch is smart, better watch out or you could wake up in the morning in a cardboard box on the street and learn that your appartment/house/car is in her name now and she has all your money.

Seriously, no woman would be such a pussy as to not turn in her cousin if he was forcing that shit on her. Even if he didn't go to jail the rest of the family would be watching him and if she was killed they would know it was him.

Or you could be feeding Newgrounds more bullshit and/or copypasta. If so take it back to /b/.

Shes not a lieing bitch, i believe her. Shes a very indecisive, easily controlled person. I know she wouldnt lie just to not give head because she gives me handjobs and has said she wants to have sex with me because she hasnt felt the way she does about any other guy. She is a pussy, so are most women, so get over it. shes embaressed, shy, ashamed, etc.

all my money? we're fuckin 16, calm down


RAWR.

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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 03:04 AM Reply

lmfao omg this thread is so funny because step 3 is a mystery rofllllll!!!


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zyzy
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Response to How to get a girl to suck your dick Jul. 25th, 2008 @ 03:06 AM Reply

staple your dick to the top of her mouth

^^