Adjusting the balance based on whether or not something is to the left/right of you should be trivial. As well, making things that are farther away quieter is pretty straightforward. And that's about all you can do.
It isn't possible to make something sound like it's 'behind you'. We only hear in one dimension. In "real life" we can figure out whether sounds are in front/behind/above/below by adjusting the position and angle of our head, as well as through logical deduction (if you hear a jet, you look up, not down, because jets fly in the air).
Read through the last few paragraphs of this page on hearing. Simulating the echos to provide more 'clues' based on room size etc, which is I believe what the barber example does, could very slightly help, but it'd be a huge investment on your part and would probably impact the performance of your program considerably, in particular since it's already some variant of 3D in Flash (and you need those cycles).