Done. Here's a copy of my letter.
Fox News,
I'm going to do something that I'm sure a lot of your anonymous emails do not do. I'm going to tell you my name. I'm going to introduce myself.
My name is Chris Walker. Nice to meet you, Fox News.
Now that we're on friendly terms, I've viewed your segment (which can be found at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=09e_12145 94171 if you're confused) on the Torture Game 2, a game featured on a website that I frequent, called Newgrounds.com. I've also played the game, as your coverage has made quite the stir on the website itself. I must say, after listening to your piece, and playing the game myself, the anchor responsible for that segment, and all those involved are biased, uneducated, liars.
Of course, now that you know I'm defending the game, you undoubtedly think I'm some kind of violent, brutish human who is incapable of logical thought and lives only to serve his unending addiction to virtual torture, and eventually branch out into the real thing. I mean, that's what you're saying isn't it? That's the only way it can be, because when listening to your segment, I noticed that nobody gave a chance to the other side of the issue, the anti-censorship portion, and when it was brought up, it was simply mocked by an overweight, forty-something conservative who can't see past the web of lies she knowingly weaves.
This, fox news, is wrong. It's wrong, and I'm sure you're well aware of exactly what you're trying to do. Fear mongering. Well frankly, I'm fed up with it. I'm tired of my voice being silenced and my views being stepped on and tossed aside because what you have to say can scare all the conservative parents into stocking up on bottled water and putting their foil helmets on. Of course, this is all coming from an unintelligent, violent, waste of a life, right fox news? So don't listen to what I, nay, what WE have to say. Our voices are unimportant anyway right?
In my defense, I've been playing video games since a very early age, and continue to do so to this day. And yes, a majority of those video games do include amounts of violence, in varying amounts of gratuity. Didn't know a sick minded, violent, bastard like myself could use the word 'gratuity', did you? These games, I can safely say, have had no adverse effects on me, and I continue to be a productive, normal member of society, with the fantastic ability to separate fact from fiction. Reality from a game. As much as you don't want to hear that excuse, it's the truth. We do possess this amazing talent.
Do with this statement what you may. Twist it around. Chop it up and make it seem as if I'm threatening and attacking you. Make us all seem like the "Next Big Threat To America". You seem to be quite good at that.
All we want is for our views to be considered. It's your call Fox News.
Do you still want to be friends?
Sincerely,
Chris Walker
