At 6/30/08 01:40 AM, Scalene wrote:
Guys, here's a test. We're going to see if Newgrounders really do the things that they say they do.
K, my typing finger is ready to go.
So, here are some questions, that, really, only someone who has experience in the field would be able to answer.
I've had experience in several fields, do your best.
Oh, so you drink underage? Let's see.
Maybe a total of 15ish times?
1. How did you get access to the alcohol?
My first time was a birthday present from my brother. 10th of Smirnoff Vodka.
2. If you bought it, what did you buy, how did you buy it, and how much was it?
See above. I've also tagged along and had my boss pay for a 5th of gin and a Heineken Min-ikeg. The gin was $35 after tax and the mini-keg was bought by somebody else.
3. How much did you drink, and what happened as a result?
I drink very occasionally. First time I just played WoW and chilled with my friend. We acted like morons and sang/filmed ourselves singing.
After that I didn't get drunk again until I was at school a few months later. One of my worst experiences. I skipped a class, showed up late to an other, and puked at my own house in between. I'll never be able to drink tequila again.
4. Were you hungover? What did it feel like, and how did you get over it?
I've been hungover once. At least I think I was, I had a really heavy feeling in my head, but it was just a mild headache. I got over it in a few ours.
I tend to drink water when I'm drunk so I don't get hung over the next morning.
5. Where were you when you did it, and where did you go afterwards?
First time I stayed in my friend's basement.
One time when I went to a failed LAN party I ended up getting sick (again) and we walked around the neighborhood like 6 or 8 times.
I've also been to school, a hotel hot tub, and a park. I like to stay where I am when I get drunk.
My specialty, though I've quit for now.
We'll start low, then go to the most hardcore ones. I only ask these questions out of what I've been told, I refuse to touch drugs. First, weed.
I got bored of it, but lets continue...
1. How much did you buy, and how much was it?
I've bought several times in the past. My first major pickup was a quarter ounce. 7.5 grams (though I think I may have been ripped off) for $60. Pretty standard pricing in Canada.
2. What was the taste like?
It's hard to describe. Very pungent and in-your-face the first time. I got used to it, and I actually still like the taste as much as I hate getting high.
3. How did you smoke it, and what did you look and smell like afterwards?
My first time was through a joint. Next few times was through a home-made pipe, which was the first time I got high. After that I stuck to a one-hitter. After trying a bong hoot I freaked out and got super paranoid.
I looked about the same afterward, but I felt a bit greasy. The smell didn't stick on me for too long, so I was fine to go home the next day with no suspicions from my dad.
4. What effect did it have? If you hurt yourself, what happened? If you watched something, how was it different?
The most notable for me at first was uncontrollable laughter and really heavy legs and weak knees. It felt like I was falling backwards sometimes. The stuff I smoked that was laced made my heart race, muscles spasm, and my hands and feet and mouth really numb.
Nothing really seemed all that different, I just happened to have a difficult time formulating a proper sentence. I couldn't coherently speak. A memorable quote from a friend while I was high was "You think you're being deep but you're just baked as shit". I was simply trying to tell him about how I was singing in rockband.
Oh, so you've tried ecstasy. Then you'll definitely be able to answer these questions.
Haha, it's been 2 years.
1. Where'd you get it?
One of my friends named Alex "has his sources".
2. How much was it?
$20 for a "double stacked" pill, which was probably just laced with meth anyway.
3. What was the design?
Looked just like any other pill. It had a line going across it. Nothing fancy.
4. How did it change the way you acted?
I just wanted to do things. Different things all the time. I wanted people I know to meet my friends that they already knew. I was unnaturally happy.
5. What did you really really want when you took it?
Sex. It made me horny as fuck.
6. What's it taste like?
Super fucking bitter, and it left my tongue raw where I let it sit while I grabbed a drink.
I'm know only a little about drugs, but only a druggie should be able to answer those questions.
I know about a lot more drugs than that. I've done shrooms and freebased caffeine. Crack Caffeine, so to speak.
And finally, the big one...
We'll start with the basis - the 'girl' you're dating.
Well to be fair I never really dated either of them. Just a drunken mistake, and I'm surprised how it's not awkward.
1. How long have you been dating?
2. What's her birthday?
Don't give a fuck.
3. What's her starsign?
Don't give a fuck.
4. Last name?
5. What point is she at in her cycle?
Oral sex. Only a couple of questions needed to establish this...
1. Which blowjob sent you through the roof (the really mind-blowing one)?
The only one, it was in her friend's parents bed.
2. What's pussy taste like?
Fuck if I know.
Finally, normal sex.
1. What's near the top of a vag, what's lower down, and where does the cawk go?
To be fair you'd learn more about this from a diagram than actual sex. There's a converging hole near the bottom (or top doggystyle). The clit is a bit above that, and try not to get a nasty squirt from anywhere else...
Underneath is the anus, and that's where the cawk goes (only joking).
2. What brand and size condom do you use, and how much are they?
Lifestyle, and I guess a normal size. They give them out for free near where I live. It's something everybody does once in a while as a joke, but actually having one on you is worth it.
3. If it was the girl's first time, what did you need? And what would she keep doing?
I doubt it was her first, seeing as she basically threw herself at me when she was drunk. I was a little drunk too.
4. And finally - how long did it take you to get off?
Being drunk, but also a horny idiot, around 10 minutes.
Yeah, I don't lie on the internet because there's nothing to be gained from it. Might as well tell the truth so I can get the best advice and feedback possible.