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Forum Topic: Water makes you drown.

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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:51 PM

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So , there I was. It was my 14th birthday. A happy moment , if you will.

Little did I know the horrors that lie within my 2 foot pool.

Okay , I'll start from the beggining.

Now , when I was little , my parents bought me this kiddie pool. You must have seen them before. The crappy little pools that go up to your ankles.

That pool has been there as long as I can remember. Ever sence my parents gave it to me at the age of 5 , it has never been moved, or used. Nobody auctelly bothered to remove it from whare it was for years.

As I headed to the back yard to rake all the leaves into a big pointless pile for my mother , I heard a voice. "Oh , no. Not again." I said to myself.

Now , before I go any further , I need to remind the audiance that I am only fourteen. Im not that bright and I'll do anything for candy or video games.

Back to the story.

So I started looking around for the mysterious voice I heard. After a while , I concluded that it could only be coming from the pool.

"Okay , im not going through this again." I said to myself , so I walked up to the deck behind my house , in view of the pool.

I heard the voice again. This time I could make out the words it was saying.

"There is a secret trasure cove of every video game in the universe , at the bottom of the pacific ocean. If you swim down and get it , all the video games will be yours."

My heart was pounding. EVERY videogame? I must have this treasure.

"Theres a catch." The pool continued.
"You have to swim to the bottom , that means no boats , no submarines."

So what? I didn't care. I didn't care WHAT I had to do in order to get all the video games.

After a long and perilous jouney blah blaH BLAH.

I arrived at the Pacific Ocean. Time after time and after time I tried to swim to the bottom. My family thought me to be lost somewhare.

"Keep trying!" said the kiddie pool. "Just keep trying."

I tried again and again , day and night , night and day.

After one attempt , I nearly died. I swallowed a large amount of water and had to wait a while before I tried again.

"Just one more time. I'm sure you'll be able to do it this time. Just don't stop until you reach it."

Okay. The pool was right. I could do this.

I dived. One last time. I had to do it.

I swam faster and harder than I ever had before. Until - I finally did it. I reached the bottom. There was no trace of a trasure. No. No. IMpossible. No!

I tried to go back up. But I knew it was useless. As I ran out of breath I swallowed in gallons of water.

As my vision begain to black out I heard the soft chuckle of the pool water. The Water made me drown.

Now here I am telling you people this sad, sad story.

Okay yeah. Best I could come up with.
Do I still win? =)

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H-h-h-heliopios

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:52 PM

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Electric-Bla

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:53 PM

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Courage for your spleen.

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Thimbles

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:54 PM

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Guest8792

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:54 PM

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What shit are you on, boy? Horrible story.

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FullArsenal

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:57 PM

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Strength for your leg.

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Gatling

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:57 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:54 PM, Guest8792 wrote: What shit are you on, boy? Horrible story.

I actually thought it was quite good content-wise. Maybe you should work on your choise of words and syntaxis.

"What kind of idiot would quote himself" - Gatling

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ParadoxSaint

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:57 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:54 PM, Thimbles wrote: ITT

The format is really annoying, I only had enough attention span to read half of it.


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Blaze-Heatnix

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:58 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:51 PM, B4gle wrote: Now , before I go any further , I need to remind the audiance that I am only fourteen. Im not that bright and I'll do anything for candy or video games.

Stopped there.


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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:59 PM

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Needs more violence and boobies.


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SouthAsian

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Posted at: 6/27/08 01:59 PM

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I liked the part of the story when you tried to get the video games but then you almost drowned.


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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 02:00 PM

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The format is really annoying, I only had enough attention span to read half of it.

I actually thought it was quite good content-wise. Maybe you should work on your choise of words and syntaxis.

Well , thanks for the slightly constructive critisium. ( I know I spelt that wrong )

I promise my story will be much better next time.

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Xaxrox

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Posted at: 6/27/08 02:04 PM

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From the tone and the way this is written, I would assume your age to be around 20.


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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:37 PM

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At 6/27/08 02:04 PM, Xaxrox wrote: From the tone and the way this is written, I would assume your age to be around 20.

Uhh , alrighty then.

I'm 14 turning 15. How did you come up with 20 years old?

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MudkipsPiano

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:40 PM

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You fail as a writer, sorry.


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PinballWizard976

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:41 PM

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There's no leaves in Spring. Not in Canada at least. Therefore, your story is made up.

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X-Gary-Gigax-X

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:42 PM

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I didn't have a 14th birthday party.

hsgeisdhesduenskalwidmfjrjdjfidjmfm ekdmsjfjjfjd

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Chavic

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:42 PM

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Water is also wet!


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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:42 PM

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At 6/27/08 05:40 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote: You fail as a writer, sorry.

I'm not trying to be a great writer. I'm just hoping to make a couple people smile.

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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:45 PM

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At 6/27/08 05:41 PM, PinballWizard976 wrote: There's no leaves in Spring. Not in Canada at least. Therefore, your story is made up.

The part of me getting killed and then telling the story afterward wasen't enough of a giveaway?

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RoobyKillAll

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:45 PM

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That was kind of lame. The pool was talking to you? What is this shit.

¤´¨)
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(¸.·´ (¸.·`¤[Drunken Brother][Rooby Tuesday][Sig made in MS Paint]

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Andrea364

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:46 PM

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At 6/27/08 05:42 PM, Chavic wrote: Water is also wet!

If only he had bought that Viagra... tisk tisk

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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:49 PM

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At 6/27/08 05:45 PM, RoobyKillAll wrote: That was kind of lame. The pool was talking to you? What is this shit.

I know where to get some good pot.

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Corky-D

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Posted at: 6/27/08 05:50 PM

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Fire makes you burn.

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B4gle

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:14 PM

B4gle NEUTRAL LEVEL 05

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At 6/27/08 05:50 PM, Corky-D wrote: Fire makes you burn.

What are you doing on NG when you could be curing cancer? Or solving world hunger?

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Longhorn97

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:27 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:51 PM, B4gle wrote:
Do I still win? =)

No. You fail horribly.

@ MY YOUTUBE ACCOUNT@
SIG BY DALARIO.

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Shawtey

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:30 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:54 PM, Thimbles wrote: ITT

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videogamer0810

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:33 PM

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pizza4ever

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:33 PM

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so are you in heaven or hell

Pizza4ever

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WingCommand

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Posted at: 6/27/08 06:35 PM

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At 6/27/08 01:59 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: Needs more violence and boobies.

A lot more.

Quack

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