For lent me and a friend have adopted for all circumstances the Gentlemens Rules for the Consumption of Beverage, namely:
Mentioning the H word (appendage on the end of an arm) is forbidden. Consume two digits of your beverage.
Mentioning the F word (digit, part of the appendage on the end of the arm) is forbidden. Two digits.
Mentioning the D word (consumption/beverage) is forbidden. Two digits.
Consume with the clock. Between x:00 and x:29, hold your beverage with the right hand. Between x:30 and x:59, with the left hand. Punishment of two digits.
Pointing is rude. Punishment of two digits.
On finishing a beverage, tap out (tap the empty glass/bottle on your foot). Punishment: Half a beverage.
And as a plus, the word referring to, perhaps, a bomb placed in earth which Princess Diana hated a lot, or perhaps a bomb floating in the sea, or perhaps a place where minerals and ore and shit are dug up, or perhaps the non-premodifying possessive case of "I", is banned. Punishment: An entire beverage.
This month is going to be hard on me :o
