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At 6/24/08 12:01 PM, MickTheChampion wrote: You get those humanist funerals, where everyone sits around telling heart-warming stories about Johnny while glossing over the fact that they believe he's merely rotting in a box and dead forever. To each their own, I suppose.

It's not any weirder than a mass gathering, where Johnny is being sent on a journey to a place of eternal happiness, every guest knowing that they will be reconnected with him very soon, some time during the insignificantly short period of human life, while expressing the deepest, teariest sadness and devastation imaginable.

If I don't get aids, or some other disease that would make me ineligible I would want to have my organs donated. Everything else I want to be either eaten or disposed of in an environmentally friendly and cheap way. I don't want a funeral, but if there is one I don't want nice things said about me. I am an asshole and want to be remembered as such.

At 6/30/08 08:08 AM, nazibomb wrote: i'm not an atheist, nor religious, but my body is either being donated for research, or used for organs. there will not be a funeral.

Can you not have a ceremony of some description without your body being present?

At 6/30/08 08:08 AM, nazibomb wrote: i'm not an atheist, nor religious, but my body is either being donated for research, or used for organs. there will not be a funeral.

As someone has posted earlier, a funeral is about family and friends to have a final goodbye. That's very selfish of you not to allow that; They may need it.

At 6/23/08 09:08 PM, killerwhale321 wrote: i dont know how you would do that. but mines gonna be a sexy rave dance party :)

But it might be hard to do a keg stand without knocking over the casket

At 6/23/08 09:05 PM, Onizero wrote: I'm an atheist as you know and I really wonder how my funerals going to turn out because they can't mention god...it would be wierd. "He had a good life and g- oh shit I can't mention that can I..."

i think that your funeral doesnt nesisarily have to be a religuos thing, they can just be there to morn you

and as far as what they say they can just tell about the good ol times they had with you

My Will will dictate that my friends, not my family, handle all preparations. I'm confident that they'll manage to carry out anything I want, and that no one will be able to stop them.

At 6/28/08 08:19 AM, XRoanokeX wrote: If you don't want to believe that's your choice.

you know whats funny?

I actualy dont have a choice in weither im an atheist or not, when I was turing into a atheist I TREID to belive in god , but I just couldnt, I just couldnt see how it was possible.
I mean I could have definitly PRETENDED to belive in god, but thats not the same. :P

Step 1: Find empty land
Step 2: Dump corpse in side hole in land
Step 3: Say some nice shit about the the funeral
Step 4: Cover the hole
Step 5: Haul ass, eat dinner and go to sleep.

Done.

I don't think that it makes any differance what is said at a funeral, atheist or not. Because. if they were to be offended by the statements of "God" there is nothing they can do about it, fore they are dead. It won't make any differance to the person, they wouldn't know about it . The ceremony (funeral) is more for the benifit of the survivors, family, and friends, and no real benifit for the deceased.

My grandfather had a humanist funeral. Basically it was a celebration of his life and accomplishments. There's no need to mention God when you do that. Although, it was done in a crematorium rather than a church so it might go different if it was done in a religious setting.

It probably be like something like "He was a good boy, now he's in, well, "hopefully" in a "better" place. Ah who know where he went, oh well we'll miss him anyway. Here here!"

and then

"SEXY RAVE DANCE PARTY!"

The party was you should of been there, oh wait, eh, sorry.

At 11/28/08 02:10 AM, nthnrmos wrote: I don't think that it makes any differance what is said at a funeral, atheist or not. Because. if they were to be offended by the statements of "God" there is nothing they can do about it, fore they are dead.

You. Suck.

To do that would be to trample over everything that person may have stood for. And to do that to someone simply because of the support of the excuse "he's dead" is horrible.

I read a blog about someone who's Atheist friend had recently deceased. At the funeral, the Minister made constant reference to the persons probable relationship with God. This made everyone upset that the minister would do this, all while knowing he was an Atheist. Every mention of his relationship with God made the air fill with disgust.

Be ashamed of yourself.

At 11/28/08 05:23 PM, Thimbles wrote:

At 11/28/08 02:10 AM, nthnrmos wrote: I don't think that it makes any differance what is said at a funeral, atheist or not. Because. if they were to be offended by the statements of "God" there is nothing they can do about it, fore they are dead.

You. Suck.

Come now, is that really necessary?

I read a blog about someone who's Atheist friend had recently deceased. At the funeral, the Minister made constant reference to the persons probable relationship with God. This made everyone upset that the minister would do this, all while knowing he was an Atheist. Every mention of his relationship with God made the air fill with disgust.

I can't help but wonder why it would be that they would have a minister for that if they knew the guy was atheist. Seems to me that a private, non-religious gathering would have fit better.

At 11/28/08 06:09 PM, dySWN wrote: I can't help but wonder why it would be that they would have a minister for that if they knew the guy was atheist. Seems to me that a private, non-religious gathering would have fit better.

Isn't that kinda what this thread is about?

Funerals aren't for the dead person, they are for the living relatives. But at the same time, the funeral is ABOUT the dead person, so telling obvious lies isn't a very worthy thing to do.

Hopefully my funeral will begin with calm music. A few people would come up and say a few good words. And then i would set it up to detonate fireworks beside everyone- and reveal i giant sign in the front of the building saying "i did it for the lulz"

That is how i live- that is how i wish to be remembered. Not as "that nice guy" but as "that guy who loved to laugh."

At 11/28/08 05:23 PM, Thimbles wrote:
To do that would be to trample over everything that person may have stood for. And to do that to someone simply because of the support of the excuse "he's dead" is horrible.

I think you missed my point here:

1) The funeral and memorial ceremony is for the benifit of the family. That being if the person is an atheist or a religious person then it would be up to the family to carry out the final wishes of the ceremony by the guide lines of the deceased.

2) When someone dies their time as a physical manifestation on earth (being a living body) is over. What happens after such time there is nothing they can do about it. It is up to their survivors to take care of their intrest.

As far as personal experance goes I have attended over 200 funeral and memorial services (working in the funeral industry for a while). Many of these funerals were of those that I knew and were freinds with. At some of these services there were instances where the service did not corespond to the wishes of the deceased.
Example, is my grandfather. He was a retired military Col. and told me that he wished for Military Funeral Honors (MFH) to be presented at his funeral. I was the local MFH coordinator and could easily accomplish such a task. My grandmother on the other hand did not wish for there to be any such ceremory of MFH, and sense she was the next of kin it did not take place. But on the event of her changing her mind or her decease I have the flag and preperations ready for a memorial service for the preporations of his children, whom both wish for it to occur.
This is an example of how your wishes may not go to the accordace of what happens. For it is up to the kext of kin to make your preporations. My grandpa wanted MFH. Did it happen? No, not yet.

Regardless of your opinions of me I have nothing to be ashamed of.

At 11/28/08 07:48 PM, a2toedmonkey wrote:

That is how i live- that is how i wish to be remembered. Not as "that nice guy" but as "that guy who loved to laugh."

Friend 1: "Hey, remember a2toedmonkey?"

Friend 2: "The guy with the joke funeral?"

Friend 1: "Yeah."

Friend 2: "Yeah, that sucked, I'm glad he's dead."

Friend 1: "I agree."

Well Menelaus, I have to disagree there.

This is without doubt the best funeral of the 20th century :)

RIP Graham Chapman
Hope my funeral is as good

At 11/28/08 09:40 PM, nthnrmos wrote:

At 11/28/08 05:23 PM, Thimbles wrote:
To do that would be to trample over everything that person may have stood for. And to do that to someone simply because of the support of the excuse "he's dead" is horrible.

I think you missed my point here:

1) The funeral and memorial ceremony is for the benifit of the family. That being if the person is an atheist or a religious person then it would be up to the family to carry out the final wishes of the ceremony by the guide lines of the deceased.

To not carry out someone's final wishes, in my opinion, is a pretty sad act. Everyone has a different sense of what's right and wrong, so before I die, I'll be sure to find someone who will carry out my wishes no matter what.

2) When someone dies their time as a physical manifestation on earth (being a living body) is over. What happens after such time there is nothing they can do about it. It is up to their survivors to take care of their interest.

Already been established.

As far as personal experance goes...

Type of funeral =/= Conveying lies and slander. Our stories do not relate.

Regardless of your opinions of me I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Kay.

At 11/28/08 11:29 PM, Thimbles wrote:

At 11/28/08 09:40 PM, nthnrmos wrote:

At 11/28/08 05:23 PM, Thimbles wrote:

Type of funeral =/= Conveying lies and slander. Our stories do not relate.

That is but a matter of opinion.
The end results is the same, where the service they wanted did not get fulfilled.
Your story the deceased lived a life as an atheist and was denied that aspect at his funeral, by the mentioning of god at his internment.
My story the deceased (my grandpa) lived life as a military soldier and was denied that aspect at his funeral, by the removal of all military accomplishments of his life at his funeral.

By in itself denying the deceased the type of funeral they wanted inorder to reflect the life they lived "conveys [sic] lies and slander" in the point of view of those who were present.

At 11/29/08 12:58 AM, nthnrmos wrote: the life they lived "conveys [sic] lies and slander" in the point of view of those who were present.

Only slander is ruled out. Still: Lies.

My ulogy will rule

"Loving Husband, awesome pops, a stand up guy, but damn he was a stupid fuck! Learned not to play with matches didn't you asshole! ...That's it, throw him in the fire, let's go eat cake... Oh and my condolences to the Strife family, but hey, at least you don't have to put up with him anymore right? And lookit the life insurance money ! Huh? Huh? *big dumbass grin* S'wat I thought....Hey I told you! Put my dumbass brother in the fire!"

Or something like that, my brother promised :P.

you are an athiest now, dont know what you will be in the future.

They dump you in the ground and skip to getting wasted at the wake, don't they?

Now, Satanic cremations are what makes me curious: does everyone say "lucky bastard" when you're headed into the flames (preferably to the sound of The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

At 11/30/08 12:55 PM, D2Kvirus wrote: They dump you in the ground and skip to getting wasted at the wake, don't they?

Now, Satanic cremations are what makes me curious: does everyone say "lucky bastard" when you're headed into the flames (preferably to the sound of The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

......no....to both............

Honestly, if you want a real suggestion, I'd check out what a "Speaker for the Dead" is. It's based on a Novel, but I've heard of real people doing it.

Short description from wikipedia:
"The two books become classics and inspire the rise of a movement of Speakers for the Dead. The movement is not a religion, although Speakers are treated with the respect accorded to a priest or cleric. Any citizen has the legal right to summon a Speaker (or a priest of any faith, which Speakers are legally considered) to mark the death of a family member. Speakers research the dead person's life and give a speech that attempts to speak for them, describing the person's life as he or she tried to live it. This speech is not an apology, but rather a way to understand the person as a whole, including any flaws or misdeeds."

I know there are people who have really done this, but the book "Speaker for the dead" is so immensely popular that I can't find anything through google. I guess if you are really interested in the idea, I would read the book. :/

At my funeral, the casket is going to be closed until everyone arrives. Then they open the casket, and I'm not in it. Everyone's confused, but then master puppeteers lower my body from the roof and make me do awesome dance moves. A disco ball is lowered and strobe lights come on, and Stadium Rave starts to play. Then some cute, sexy girls in bunny outfits and guys in the dress pants and bow tie start walking around giving out cocktails and those little hot dogs on the toothpicks. After a few minutes of partying, I the puppeteers make me climb into the casket and strike a pose on my side, my head propped up on my right hand. After that some Mexicans drive up and riddle my body with bullets and I fall back into the casket, hands over my chest and generally looking like a normal corpse. That's when the actual funeral stuff starts.

At 6/24/08 01:19 AM, DawnOfDusk wrote: Yeah, I shouldn't be poking my head around like this, but is their a topic around that is just bashing their "cult"?

No, but you sir are a genius.

Just have a humanist funeral. Although the fuckers will still ensure they explain that its is not a religous funeral, as if to throw guilt on proceedings.

I'm donating my organs and what's left to medical research.

This is because after I'm gone some small part of me will remain alive and/or useful.