Brand New Webcomic!

[Anim8or666]

I've recently started doing a new webcomic, updated Mondays and Fridays. The address is http://www.comic.dzine-online.com . Below is a recent comic I've done. Any suggestions on how I can make it better?

[MooImmaHamster]

it's not bad

[keosan24]

OMG!!!!!!!
He stole his Phone!
lol good you dont need to change a thing maybe make it a bit smaller so u can allow more panels?

[Tystarr]

hehe.
funny stuff.

[ngmastah]

Pretty funny, I like it. Also, holy shit, that teacher looks like my Outdoor ed one

[Zac-Donald]

Not even slightly amusing.

[aod3]

Besides art advice the layout is good. Don't change that unless you want to XD

[gradenator]

It's nice and tidy. Visually it's ok. The dialogue is just fucking retarded though. Why would the kid say out loud how much he likes his iphone? Maybe it's just not my kind of humor.

[Tystarr]

If I had an iPhone I would be sure to say how awesome it was every time I used it. But maybe thats just me..

[Dimolecular]

I think the comic would have been way funnier if the second frame was the last frame. Those two last frames was of the have-to-finish-the-comic kind, killing all the fun.

Good idea, though, anyways.

[Ynek]

It's not bad. I've seen far worse first-strips for webcomics.
The humour is a little stale, but hey, everyone knows its better to stay in tried and tested territory for a first comic, rather than try something off the wall and completely new.

I look forward to seeing more of your work. :)

[Lemmiwinks91]

At 6/17/08 08:01 PM, Anim8or666 wrote: I've recently started doing a new webcomic, updated Mondays and Fridays. The address is http://www.comic.dzine-online.com . Below is a recent comic I've done. Any suggestions on how I can make it better?

Good job, i figured out what the angel was saying!

[Mike909]

i don't really like it. I didn't find it funny. The art is decent but i don't really like the style its lie it wants to be anime/manga.

[SaltshakerClock]

Writing could use some work. It's childish humor.

[Clitorotti]

At 6/18/08 03:50 PM, SaltshakerClock wrote: Writing could use some work. It's childish humor.

agreed. it seems really juvenile and contrived

[Anim8or666]

At 6/18/08 11:33 AM, Ynek wrote: It's not bad. I've seen far worse first-strips for webcomics.
The humour is a little stale, but hey, everyone knows its better to stay in tried and tested territory for a first comic, rather than try something off the wall and completely new.

I look forward to seeing more of your work. :)

When I was making this comic, I was having a sort of writer's block, but now I have a ton of ideas, which should make the comic entertaining without resorting to childish, fanboyish humor. The artwork is going to get better, along with the humor. Besides, look at the first comics of all the other good webcomics, nobody made epic comics on their first tries.
My webcomic, updated Mondays and Fridays
I'll post a newer comic here on Friday...

[Anim8or666]

Yeah, it's been a little while, but I'm back with a new comic. I tried to make the humor more universal and less childish... In retrospect, I guess I should have used black outlines, because brown just makes it all muddy looking; but I was experimenting to see which is best... Questions? Comments?

[Anim8or666]

Sorry for double-posting, but I just realized now that not everybody has 20/20 vision, and that the text is a bit hard to read. Go here for the full-size (and more legible) version.

[Leering-Abstemiously]

Good job, but work on your angles a bit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQVtvnXIl dE&feature=related
this might help you.

[Anim8or666]

Back with a new comic! I think I'm doing pretty well with my update schedule, though..

[fetusdoctor]

At 6/23/08 10:43 PM, Anim8or666 wrote: Back with a new comic! I think I'm doing pretty well with my update schedule, though..

In the first frame you have pretty common beginner mistake in comics which is to put the opening statement to the right of the second statement. It seems the comic is meant to be read as:

"Hey, what's the camera for?"
"I'm getting paid to tape my school's vocal show"

but because we read everything left to right, it winds up looking like:

"I'm getting paid to tape my school's vocal show"
"Hey, what's the camera for?"

To fix this, you can simply swap the bubbles and extend the arrows (part of the bubble that points to who is speaking) behind the characters. Or in this instance you can even omit the black-haired guy's question entirely, and the comic still reads just fine.

[Anim8or666]

At 6/23/08 11:22 PM, fetusdoctor wrote: To fix this, you can simply swap the bubbles and extend the arrows (part of the bubble that points to who is speaking) behind the characters. Or in this instance you can even omit the black-haired guy's question entirely, and the comic still reads just fine.

Thanks, man. I've fixed it to the best of my ability, without covering up the artwork too much. I guess next time I'll have to keep the reading order in mind as I'm making up the comic. Thanks again. Here's the fixed version: