"Tha boyz" and I used to do some heavy dippin' on the first Saturday of every month. We used to call it "Skoalin' " 'cause that's the only brand we ever did. Apple flavored; that's some hot shit right there, let me tell you.
So we'd all be pretty buzzed and shit, right? Fucking around on my front porch, all seven or eight of us, gettin' in trouble, and harassing my neighbors with rude gestures.
And then the Nicotine Happytime would start to wear off, and we'd all look around. Only to see my fucking ugly girlfriend trying to be all badass by dippin' with us. She stuffed a full fuckin' 8mm long cut into her mouth, even though she has probably the tiniest, "least versatile" (catch my drift?) mouth ever seen on God's fucking Brown planet.
So she's just staring at us with her mascara-depraven eyes, a huge bubble of saliva forming at the corner of her mouth, and then like anal seepage, dripped down her pocked and cratered face and down her protruded chin.
Naturally, I was pissed at that fucking bitch for carrying out the following inexcusable crimes:
1. Wasting my Skoal, Bitch!
2. Looking like the fucking lameshit she is - in front of my badass friends!
3. Dripping saliva and tobacco all over my porch.
4. In front of the elderly neighbors, who now have ammunition to use against me when we get into the next inevitable verbal spat over their fucking lawn gnomes: "Your girlfriend's an ugly ass!"
This kind of shit is inexcusable. Not to mention she makes her ugly face even fucking uglier by Skoalin' with us. And we didn't even ask her to be there, or invite her to dip.
Don't ever pull this goddamn bullshit again, or you're gonna find your skanky, pimply, and diseased ass kicked to the concrete curb faster than you can say "Prostitution".
This is how you fucking dip, bitch!
