My 'Iron Man' review

[matrixparody]

Hello, I saw the move 'Iron Man' yesterday so I thought I would show you all what I thought of it.

Iron Man
Every once in a while, Marvel decides to create another superhero movie because apparently they don't already have enough money. These films are almost always poorly directed, and have not been properly thought out. Iron Man is no different. This is a movie that defies all logic of what usually would be obvious parts of a superhero move. For example, a good superhero should have a cape. Iron Man has no cape.

This movie also has probably the worst script ever seen in a film. It is long, boring, and drags on for what seems like for ever. The audience has come for a superhero movie, they don't want to hear every boring detail of the inner workings of the suit, and see the unlikely pieces of equipment the characters are using. It seems to take about half the fucking movie before the guy even gets his suit, which by the way, has some of the most ridiculous abilities of any superhero... it just takes all of the excitement out of a scene when the viewer is wondering how 'Iron Man' will get out of this one, before finding out that there is some power they didn't know about built into the suit.

Yet another terrible aspect of this movie is the humor, or it's weak attempts at jokes. The main character, Robert Downey Jr., tries a joke every two seconds in the movie, but none of them are funny whatsoever. This is without doubt some of the worst acting you could ever imagine, and then some.

I'm not going to give away the ending, even though you will probably predict it in the first ten minutes of the film, but I will tell you this, it's terrible. Just like the rest of this terrible movie. This movie is shit. Do not go and see this movie. Not even if you're curious about how bad it really is. Even if you have a pirated copy of it. Just don't.

Summary
This is a perfect example of Marvel simply making movies for the money, and putting no effort into them. This is the worst movie of the year, and you will not enjoy it at all. Also, it's boring.

Score: 15/100

[jamboreen]

He posts like someone cares what he thinks :D

[Testicle]

I heard it was really good..

[VespeneGas]

Did Iron Man get in trouble after he fucked that plane up.

[Sun-and-Moon]

At 5/11/08 06:44 PM, jamboreen wrote: He posts like someone cares what he thinks :D

Couldn't you apply this statement to any of the film critic reviews?

A person's opinion shouldn't be totally disregarded, providing they have some good points.

[AngrehFace]

At 5/11/08 06:43 PM, matrixparody wrote: Score: 15/100

That's harsh, dude. I'd give it an 85/100.

[Dsmano]

How did he make that glowing blue thing to power his heart out of a box of scrap metal again?

also, why do I get a hint of fiery passion in this review?

[matrixparody]

At 5/11/08 06:45 PM, VespeneGas wrote: Did Iron Man get in trouble after he fucked that plane up.

No, because Marvel didn't put any thought into any scene in the movie. There are no consequences for any of Iron Man's actions. Worst script ever.

[CryogenChaos]

YOU DON'T LIKE THIS MOVIE THEREFORE I DON'T LIKE THIS MOVIE.

No. Fuck you. I loved Iron Man.

[Epicness]

Ah typical, people like to trash popular movies only because they're popular. It's been done before (with like, every single popular movie out there).

[matrixparody]

At 5/11/08 06:48 PM, Epicness wrote: Ah typical, people like to trash popular movies only because they're popular. It's been done before (with like, every single popular movie out there).

No, I don't think this movie is bad because it's popular, I think it's bad as a result of being popular.

[Zeromus]

I liked Ironman.

[blahblahblahblah]

At 5/11/08 06:50 PM, matrixparody wrote: No, I don't think this movie is bad because it's popular, I think it's bad as a result of being popular.

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Bomshaw]

At 5/11/08 06:50 PM, matrixparody wrote:

At 5/11/08 06:48 PM, Epicness wrote: Ah typical, people like to trash popular movies only because they're popular. It's been done before (with like, every single popular movie out there).

No, I don't think this movie is bad because it's popular, I think it's bad as a result of being popular.

That's the same thing.

[Sekhmet]

Iron Man was the best superhero movie I ever seen (not that it has much competition). It is actually a genuinely good movie by any standards.

[Epicness]

Point here! +1 (post count AND meaningful post, two birds with one IRON MAN).

[matrixparody]

At 5/11/08 06:51 PM, Zeromus wrote: I liked Ironman.

Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

[CNRHKick]

WHAT?!?
15 out of 100?
Iron man was awesome!
You're a bad movie reviewer.

[Death-Affiliate]

At 5/11/08 06:56 PM, matrixparody wrote:

At 5/11/08 06:51 PM, Zeromus wrote: I liked Ironman.

Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

The fact that I have a brain.

But seriously, I've always been a huge Ironman fan, and the movie was pretty great as far as the actual story.

There was some bad points, but you just sound retarded. "A super hero should have a cape?" I hope that was you trying to be funny.

[homor]

BLAH BLAH BALH I DUN LIKE A MOVIE BLAH BLAH BLAH.

[ZachMM]

At 5/11/08 06:44 PM, Testicle wrote: I heard it was really good..

It was actually pretty good. I would suggest you go see it.

[Sekhmet]

At 5/11/08 06:56 PM, matrixparody wrote: Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

Bad: Plot didn't make much sense. Sure Tony Stark is a genius, but he advanced science 100 years while sitting in a cave.

Good: I don't care about the nonsensical plot, because it's a movie and I can accept huge leaps of logic. The point is that Robert Downey Jr puts on an awesome performance. You said that the movie contained lame jokes every two minutes, I respect that opinion, but I thought it was genuinely funny.

I also was really appreciated the way that they kept the sappy romantic sub-plot to a minimum. Just when it looks like it's going to get cheesy, they turn it around.

Plus the ending kicked ass. Can't wait for the sequel.

[homor]

At 5/11/08 06:50 PM, matrixparody wrote: No, I don't think this movie is bad because it's popular, I think it's bad as a result of being popular.

THATS THE SAME FUCKING THING.

your point is now disragarded.

[Death-Affiliate]

At 5/11/08 07:03 PM, Sekhmet wrote:

At 5/11/08 06:56 PM, matrixparody wrote: Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

Bad: Plot didn't make much sense. Sure Tony Stark is a genius, but he advanced science 100 years while sitting in a cave.

It's based in a universe where there is a school where people go with severe physical or mental mutations, and a guy in a spandex suit flings from building to building from spider webs he makes out of his hand.

You're right. Tony Stark building something in a cave with quite a few resources that he created makes no sense what so ever.

[CryogenChaos]

At 5/11/08 07:03 PM, Sekhmet wrote:

At 5/11/08 06:56 PM, matrixparody wrote: Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

Bad: Plot didn't make much sense. Sure Tony Stark is a genius, but he advanced science 100 years while sitting in a cave.

Actually, the only thing I didn't like about the plot was how they never explained why Tony's dad's friend wanted to have him killed in the first place.

[Death-Affiliate]

At 5/11/08 07:08 PM, CryogenChaos wrote:
Actually, the only thing I didn't like about the plot was how they never explained why Tony's dad's friend wanted to have him killed in the first place.

So he could be the sole owner of a multi-trillion dollar company?

[Jackotrades]

At 5/11/08 07:03 PM, Sekhmet wrote:

At 5/11/08 06:56 PM, matrixparody wrote: Everyone seems to think this movie was awesome, but no-one can explain why. What, in your opinion, made this movie not terrible?

Bad: Plot didn't make much sense. Sure Tony Stark is a genius, but he advanced science 100 years while sitting in a cave.

Dude, hes Tony Stark, a character who was a genius in a comic book, IT ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE REALISTIC!

Good: I don't care about the nonsensical plot, because it's a movie and I can accept huge leaps of logic. The point is that Robert Downey Jr puts on an awesome performance. You said that the movie contained lame jokes every two minutes, I respect that opinion, but I thought it was genuinely funny.

As did I, perhaps something is wrong with Mr. Critic's sense of humor.

I also was really appreciated the way that they kept the sappy romantic sub-plot to a minimum. Just when it looks like it's going to get cheesy, they turn it around.

Yep, I felt that it was needed.

Plus the ending kicked ass. Can't wait for the sequel.

You saw after the credits didnt you? That ending made the movie 10x better in my opinion.

So basically, despite what you say Mr. Critic, the movie had the MAJORITY of audiences happy.

oh, and for those of you who dont wait after the credits, you missed the best ending EVAR!!!! :D

[Epicness]

Huh, superhero movies are supposed to be realistic? How messed up does that sound? They're superhero movies! I mean, come on man!

[CryogenChaos]

At 5/11/08 07:10 PM, Death-Affiliate wrote:

At 5/11/08 07:08 PM, CryogenChaos wrote:
Actually, the only thing I didn't like about the plot was how they never explained why Tony's dad's friend wanted to have him killed in the first place.

So he could be the sole owner of a multi-trillion dollar company?

Well, it didn't give much depth to it. Think about it, the mini-history the film gave in the beginning said that Tony took over the company and was running it for 5-ish years before the terrorist incident. Why wait so long?

[Death-Affiliate]

At 5/11/08 07:14 PM, CryogenChaos wrote: Well, it didn't give much depth to it. Think about it, the mini-history the film gave in the beginning said that Tony took over the company and was running it for 5-ish years before the terrorist incident. Why wait so long?

Because he realized that Tony could build the company up from what it was, and then get rid of him so he could reap in his hard work?

It's a pretty basic plot line.