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Greatest Song

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Jebbal
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Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 01:29 PM Reply

I'm trying to make the greatest song of all time, but I don't know whether the BPM should be at 240 or 243. Help! Also, I'm not sure if I should use Microsoft Paint or not. I have a stapler too, but there are no good tutorials on how to incorporate that into your audio.


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HouseMasta
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 01:34 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 01:29 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest song of all time, but I don't know whether the BPM should be at 240 or 243. Help! Also, I'm not sure if I should use Microsoft Paint or not. I have a stapler too, but there are no good tutorials on how to incorporate that into your audio.

uhmm.... what?


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HOUSEMASTER: "OHH FUK!!! TEH COMMUNITY CHEZZT FORCLOZD ON MA BEEEEEEF JEERRRKKEEE!!! j0 GOZ 2 JAYL!!!"

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SkyMarshall
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 01:44 PM Reply

240 is good for cardiac arrest and mental problems, you should run with that.


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Buoy
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 02:03 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 01:29 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest song of all time, but I don't know whether the BPM should be at 240 or 243.

For the greatest song of all time, your BPM would have to be 242,97. 243 works, but be aware it won't be the very greatest song of all time. 240 would be completely off.

Help! Also, I'm not sure if I should use Microsoft Paint or not.

No, Microsoft Paint will not do the trick. The industry standard for the "greatest songs of all time" is Internet Explorer, version 6.0. It is expensive, but pretty much the only reasonable choice of program.

I have a stapler too, but there are no good tutorials on how to incorporate that into your audio.

You will have to buy a mic, but make sure it doesn't cost more than 15$! Anything up to 20$ is pushing it, but above that you will not in any way be able to achieve the desired result. You will have to gently knock the mic into your stapler twice while recording. Load the sample of the knocking into your program, then slice it up (you will have to use 12th notes... a LOT).

Staplers are perfect tools in your case, for example, Psycho Billy Band hired a top-class stapler named Steve, and produced some of the greatest music of all time:

Greatest Song

Chronamut
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 02:44 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 02:03 PM, SBB wrote:
At 5/11/08 01:29 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest song of all time, but I don't know whether the BPM should be at 240 or 243.
For the greatest song of all time, your BPM would have to be 242,97. 243 works, but be aware it won't be the very greatest song of all time. 240 would be completely off.

nono he should use 986.345 - with notes flying by at such speed that the only way to appreciate them is to somehow absorb them into your subconscious. your song should also be 2 hours long.

Help! Also, I'm not sure if I should use Microsoft Paint or not.
No, Microsoft Paint will not do the trick. The industry standard for the "greatest songs of all time" is Internet Explorer, version 6.0. It is expensive, but pretty much the only reasonable choice of program.

some pretentious twats might argue that firefox is a better program to use - but those are the unreasonable users and they deserve to be shot.

I have a stapler too, but there are no good tutorials on how to incorporate that into your audio.
You will have to buy a mic, but make sure it doesn't cost more than 15$! Anything up to 20$ is pushing it, but above that you will not in any way be able to achieve the desired result. You will have to gently knock the mic into your stapler twice while recording. Load the sample of the knocking into your program, then slice it up (you will have to use 12th notes... a LOT).

if you have a LOT of money - you can try a staple gun - but only hardcore industrial users use THOSE..

nailguns work too.

Staplers are perfect tools in your case, for example, Psycho Billy Band hired a top-class stapler named Steve, and produced some of the greatest music of all time:

awesome.

also be sure to hook up a bicycle up to your computer and pedal - it will give you more processing power because the greatest song of all time is bound to destroy your computer.

And perhaps the ghost of flupert might help - I suggest a seance.

Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 04:48 PM Reply

Thanks for the help guys, but I think I'm going to have to completely disregard all of your suggestions. The BPM will be set at 2. Also, I'm going to use Microsoft Streets & Trips 2007 because Microsoft Paint is not user friendly at all and I couldn't figure out how to even execute a simple L chord. Using a stapler is out of the question. Instead, I'll try to find some sort of microwave plug-in that I can use to make beautiful 9 part harmonies.

It will be finished sometime around April 2003.


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HouseMasta
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 08:53 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 04:48 PM, JebbaL wrote: It will be finished sometime around April 2003.

i hope to hear it 5 years ago!


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Chronamut
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 08:59 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 04:48 PM, JebbaL wrote: Thanks for the help guys, but I think I'm going to have to completely disregard all of your suggestions. The BPM will be set at 2. Also, I'm going to use Microsoft Streets & Trips 2007 because Microsoft Paint is not user friendly at all and I couldn't figure out how to even execute a simple L chord. Using a stapler is out of the question. Instead, I'll try to find some sort of microwave plug-in that I can use to make beautiful 9 part harmonies.

It will be finished sometime around April 2003.

why not -2?

and Z chords are the best. Or splunge chords.

oh and make sure that the chord is frayed for the plugin.

I do believe I already heard it tho..

JoeyNukes
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 08:59 PM Reply

There is a fairly large amount of fail in the thread.

ChRoN0uNc3
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 09:00 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 08:59 PM, JoeyNukes wrote: There is a fairly large amount of fail in the thread.

well you are a fairly large person :P


I am Chronamut's alt.

Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 10:14 PM Reply

I'm trying to make the greatest thread of all time. Will a........."corkscrew" ...... help me achieve this?


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Dj-Flux
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 11:03 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 10:14 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest thread of all time. Will a........."corkscrew" ...... help me achieve this?

I'm waiting for it.

Someone say it.
Seriana
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Response to Greatest Song May. 11th, 2008 @ 11:17 PM Reply

Jesus christ I lol'd

meneldil
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Response to Greatest Song May. 12th, 2008 @ 01:53 AM Reply

At 5/11/08 10:14 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest thread of all time. Will a........."corkscrew" ...... help me achieve this?

Oh yeah, this topic is so great and funny!

You guys noticed the sarcasm, right?
Anyone?

Indescriptive topic names have left me in despair!

Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 12th, 2008 @ 03:25 PM Reply

I noticed it


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Sialys
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Response to Greatest Song May. 12th, 2008 @ 07:52 PM Reply

At 5/12/08 03:25 PM, JebbaL wrote: I noticed it

Well, I'm sorry to say that none of your suggestions are worthy of "Greatest track of all time"

You'll have to go back in time and kidnap the Atilla the Hun and bring him forth into 2010 so that you may use more sophisticated technology. I advise you pick up a Capybera on the way, and teach it to breathe fire. Those are worth much more than money in the future and should provide sufficient funding for you.

Okay, so you've got the Hun and the fire-breathing Capybera. What you need to do now, is sell the Capybera, buy a studio and stock it with the most epic equipment money can buy (or in our case, special Capyberas.) Now that you've done that, have Atilla round up and army of futuristic torturers with his incredible charisma, this is a vital step, copy every word.

Now that you've heard the pre-production process. It's time to take some production notes!

Make sure you've got everything you need to get started, and make sure Atilla and his torturers are whipping at full capacity. Set your volume to 5,000 and get to work with FL Studio 14 and Reason 6. Combining these programs makes your work far more greatester. Set your BPM to 452.90124. You can only do that with the advanced versions, make sure to upgrade!

Compose your track, and have a great life being man kinds greatest musician!!!


Gran Turismo 5.
That is all.

MJTTOMB
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Response to Greatest Song May. 12th, 2008 @ 08:07 PM Reply

At 5/11/08 10:14 PM, JebbaL wrote: I'm trying to make the greatest thread of all time. Will a........."corkscrew" ...... help me achieve this?

I'm not sure, but i'm sure you could find SOME uses for it...


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Oggy-cheese
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 01:06 PM Reply

yea, Paint is really difficult to use, i find if you button bush and things pop up it helps you to learn the basics, i think you should leave us all in anticipation and release it a year eariler. Also, try and use 4 dimensions, that's always interesting, the song should probably have a good smell too, maybe get one off amazon? just a few suggestions, good luck! I look backward to hearing it!


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CyprusX
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 02:06 PM Reply

I don't get it , why isn't this locked yet?


Best band ever, click it.

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kjhf
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 03:05 PM Reply

At 5/13/08 02:06 PM, CyprusX wrote: I don't get it , why isn't this locked yet?

Because it's of interest to people.

BTW, I recommend a hammer, it makes a nice sounds on CDs.


DYK that DYK stands for Did You Know? No? Well you know now.
¥SPAM¥

Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 03:37 PM Reply

Okay! I have finally started working on the song! Its sounding good so far, like maybe top 10 list of all time material. If it were to be exported as an MP3 RIGHT NOW, it would be somewhere between 4 or 5 tetra-seconds. I've actually brought back with me the first man to ever lay down a tasty riff from the year 10,000 BC or so. I can't type his name because my keyboard doesn't have the right letters! Sounding it out is not possible either because his name doesn't support the latest version of Onomatopoeia! What I can say, however, is that the song will be much longer than 4 tetraseconds when its completed - More along the lines of 7 hours, and that's not including the "epic" intro. Something else I can tell you, although it pains me to say it, is that the release date is going to have to be delayed 5 years. Sorry! It's just that 2003 is creeping up on us, and I don't think I'll be able to have the song finished by then. Let me be the ninth to apologize.

If anybody would like to be a part of this huge project of mine, please speak up! Don't be shy! You can even just let out a high pitched yelp. I'll hear it and know that someone wants to help me make the greatest song of all time!

And the BPM is being lowered to 1.


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glitchcore
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 03:39 PM Reply

At 5/13/08 03:37 PM, JebbaL wrote: shit

what you just said just made me trip out..and im not on anything today


chip tune

Oggy-cheese
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 04:14 PM Reply

*insert high pitched yelp* the mountains tremble with the insanely high yet bassy note emerging from the depths of my favourite vocal chords. I would like to help! I can lay down some phat beats and bass riffs with the use of my second face :) i may be able to get you a labelled record too, i'm not sure what label to put on it yet, i might just do a smiley face, now to find a record....


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HouseMasta
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 04:21 PM Reply

i think the song will dominate the Flash Portal and win the weekly Underdog with its very own Deity whistle


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HOUSEMASTER: "OHH FUK!!! TEH COMMUNITY CHEZZT FORCLOZD ON MA BEEEEEEF JEERRRKKEEE!!! j0 GOZ 2 JAYL!!!"

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Sp1r1T
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 04:26 PM Reply

At 5/13/08 04:21 PM, HouseMasta wrote: i think the song will dominate the Flash Portal and win the weekly Underdog with its very own Deity whistle

STFU HouseMasta. Just coz your Jealous.


.

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Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 06:15 PM Reply

Ah! I heard a high pitched yelp and ran to my computer as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast because I got down on my hands and knees and crawled. Just do the following if you would like to help!!:

- m
-
- bu
*important ple
- Send me your song! (No more than 3 hours long)

Thanks!


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HouseMasta
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Response to Greatest Song May. 13th, 2008 @ 11:56 PM Reply

At 5/13/08 04:26 PM, Sp1r1T wrote: *baby cries*

nice first post douche, whereve you been all conversation? :P


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Jebbal
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Response to Greatest Song May. 14th, 2008 @ 03:15 PM Reply

Oh noooooooooo!


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Phoog
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Response to Greatest Song May. 14th, 2008 @ 03:30 PM Reply

At 5/14/08 03:15 PM, JebbaL wrote: Oh noooooooooo!

Shit. Damn. Fuck.

D:

SolidElectro
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Response to Greatest Song May. 14th, 2008 @ 03:39 PM Reply

Here is the perfect recipe for the perfect song! It only says "the most unwanted" because it is so good that it will knock every other song down!


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