I have many problems at school. Here are some.
1. Pregnant Teens
There is many pregnant girls at my school. They try to mask it but they are too fat. One day at lunch a pregnant girl was crying to her friends "HOW AM I GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS BABY!!!! :'(" I got so tired of hearing her bitching so I walked over to her table and punched her gently yet firmly in the stomach. I was sent to the principle's office and stuff. My mom was crying, I guess she was proud of me for giving that fat girl a fighting chance at succeeding in life.
2. Mean Teachers
Every time I am drawing in class, a teacher walks up to me and asks me what I am doing. As if it wasn't obvious enough, I have the back of one of his assignments, a pencil, and a drawing right on the page. One teacher took my amazing depiction of Adolf Hitler taking a shit on the Mona Lisa. I demanded it back but he simply refused and threw it out. After school, I went inside his desk and opened a drawer. I took a shit on his papers and then spanked it to the picture of his wife. That taught him.
3.Gym
At gym, when I am standing there, bothering no one, the teachers feel obligated to intrude in my day dreams and ask me why I am not running laps or dumb shit like that. Once when we were playing dodge ball, my teacher was walking laps around us, like a retard hawk stalking it's prey. So naturally, I decided to throw it at his chest, and make it look like an accident. Unfortunately, at the time I had terrible aim, so whilst aiming and his chest, I missed and threw it at his balls. Everyone was laughing while he was seizuring on the floor. Apparently, he had a severe condition that tremendous pain induces, when I hit him with the dodge ball, he got testicular torsion (Googled It) and they had to amputate his testicles. I didn't mean to amputate my gym teacher's testicles and make him almost die from swallowing his tongue (Did I not mention that?), it was a hilarious, tragic accident. Of course, I said it was the Jewish kid.
4. Bus
I hate riding on the bus. There is always shit underneath my seat and people are always yelling. I try to drown them out with the voices in my head but it doesn't seem to work. One time, a student was yelling so loud, I went over to him and tried to reason with him, explaining I was appalled by his disorderly behavior and it is an annoyance to everyone, he of course, ignored me and taunted me. I told the bus driver but he told me to shut up and sit in my gum-riddled seat. I needed to take action, a thought passed my mind, the monthly locker inspections were approaching.. I found his locker and took everything out, then I filled it up with pornography magazines, cocaine, weed, and various pills. When they found it, he was expelled from the school. I laughed deviously in my mind, because who knows who could be watching me? Anyways, I later discovered from piecing together many conversations that I had overheard, that he was permanantly expelled and his family was charged with thousands of dollars, they had to sell the house and the kid was again, given to a foster family. This seems to be the most common result of my brilliance.
